I wonder what the QLCers would think of this thread?

I think 30 is way too low, even under the assumption they're highly motivated and fear failing this task more than being maimed or killed in action. 5 year olds have no power, no speed, and no height. You wouldn't need power kicks, hooks and uppercuts. more like light jabs and a stomp(this would save a lot of energy).

They'll never reach your head while standing, so only 2 ways to lose. get totally gassed, or taken down and stomped (and they'd probably need to get you down several times before they could keep you down)

People are seriously overestimiating 5 year olds here. I'll say 100, maybe a lot more.

9 or 10 year olds would be a different story. Would you rather do this (to the death) against 100 5yr olds, or 25 10yr olds? I'd take the 100

Do the kids get candy if they beat you?

anyone else picturing these 5 year olds as robot/gremlin/doppelganger style 5 year olds to make this a little easier to think about?

Well Played.

does this mean everyone is naked except for the cup? because bare naked flesh v. flesh covered with a pair of jeans is a HUGE difference.

i vote that you can wear normal "street" clothes, in normal layers (ie, only one pair of jeans). having everyone nude except for a cup is WAY too NAMBLA. (note that the nude part disturbs me, but i am unphased by the wanton destruction of 5 year-olds ).

[censored] that. I'm picturing the kid from Big Daddy. Toughen up sport.

I'm picturing a pack of little brainwashed killers just out of a pol pot re-education camp.

The best and the brightest five year olds are pretty dumb. Their lack of attention spans don't allow them to be too organized. These kids are five, do you remember what you were like when you were five?

Justin A

The obvious weapon of choice is the knuckle duster. One with spikes on etc. This will be useless in the hands of the infantile horde.

My real problem is bellieving that the kids would keep attacking me. Once I had picked out the toughest kid, lifted him over my head whilst bellowing in rage then piledriven the kid headfirst into the concrete I cant see the other 5yr olds doing anything other than breaking down in tears and wimpering.

The solution to this problem is obvious. We must have a time
machine. We can then trek through time looking for truely hard 5 years old, not the current crop of soft as shite western five year olds. I would stop of in Sparta.
Spartan 5 yr olds must the hardest 5yr olds in human history, but more importantly there entire culture would have socialised them into wanting to fight on and on and never surrender like wusses.

So in short this scenario is only realistic and feasible with access to a time machine.

Spoken like some who's never tried to organize a pack of five year-olds.

I have video tape of me yelling at Forrest Gregg, Green Bay head coach, for not running the ball in a 3rd and short situation. As far as he tape shows, there was no prompting from my parents or anyone else for this outburst. However, it was filmed a month before my 6th b-day, and I was one of those special, advanced kids.

The 5yos I coached on the soccer field are smart enough to hold positions (with verbal coaching from the sidelines).

Great another OOT problem that can only be solved with a time machine. What if one of those Spartan kids whose neck you just snapped would later become one of your ancestors. Then you're screwed.

I like it.

Chick friend works at a day care, was telling us how there was a ring leader that had the whole place riled up that day. I suggest that the ring leader should take an unfortunate fall off the monkey bars. She said such an act would spark a revolt and that she didn't think she could take all of them at once. Add alcohol to this line of conversation and you get this challenge.

Very nice.

OK, spin-off question: Same stipulations, EXCEPT: The arena is a MOONWALK, like at those school carnivals. How many 5 year olds could you take on in that hell hole?

Let me also add that anybody who says it's in the single digits is either a huge pansy or way overestimating 5-year-olds. I can support this from my own experience that I just remembered. I earned a bit of a reputation in elementary school when I was in 4th grade and took out 8 6th graders during lunch recess. I don't remember the exact circumstances and surely it wasn't anything like a deathmatch, but I do remember one kid charging at me and I picked up another kid and threw him into the charging kid, taking out both. By "taking out," I of course don't mean that they were knocked out, but they weren't coming back for more. If I could defend against 8 6th graders, who are much more advanced than 5-year-olds (6th grade is what - 10-11 years old?), when I was myself a 4th grader and obviously quite a bit smaller and arguably less intelligent than I am now, I think the number here is most certainly well into double or triple digits.

But can you just flat out kill the kids?

It's a lot easier to kill a 5 year old than knock one out. It's pretty trivial to snap a little kid's neck Steven Segal style.

~D

Refresh my memory. Are you talking about the inflatable jump around deals? That would be one badass challenge - take on about 50 little kids in one of those - we'll call it the Cage Match Mode.

It would completely wipe out any ability to bullrush them and also make it much more difficult to stay on your feet. This is going to have to be one of the levels you unlock after beating the game on "difficult."

Yeah. Dead=Unconscious.

Please see all my posts. Good job.

That would be the tough part. On the other hand, 5 year-olds are pretty clumsy so I'd probably be better at it than they were. And they'd probably be too busy falling down to really get after you. I'd say this would make it tougher, but not much more dangerous for you.

moonwalk mode would reduce my number by 10-15% i think. the only REAL added difficulty of moonwalk mode would be that it would require greater stamina...you wouldn't be able to kick as many kids, and it would be tougher for you to stay on your feet. nevertheless, it would make their task more difficult. but, they've still got sheer numbers.

I think Moonwalk/BounceCage Mode definitely gives a bit of an edge to the numbers.