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Old 01-18-2005, 01:52 PM   #126
gonores
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What I think you guys are underestimating

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I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
There is a HUGE gap between an 80th percentile 5yo and a 20th percentile 5yo. And I'm not talking about physical ability. If I get to choose the best and the brightest (emphasis on the brightest) the pack of kids is going to be more organized than you think.
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Old 01-18-2005, 01:52 PM   #127
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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"Are they ill-tempered?"
Brilliant.
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Old 01-18-2005, 01:53 PM   #128
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

15 5 y olds like my son with proper one day mental programming and combat training would take out almost anybody. If 5 like my son attack you in full speed mode from behind so that you cant dodge them you are not going to stay on your feet.
Then, I would suggest some eyeball popping and the rest is just a matter of time.
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Old 01-18-2005, 01:57 PM   #129
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Re: What I think you guys are underestimating

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Quote:
I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
There is a HUGE gap between an 80th percentile 5yo and a 20th percentile 5yo. And I'm not talking about physical ability. If I get to choose the best and the brightest (emphasis on the brightest) the pack of kids is going to be more organized than you think.
This may be true, but even smart 5 year olds are pretty dumb. If you were talking even a couple years older, I think it'd be a huge difference, but you're talking about kindergarteners. Even the smart ones have trouble learning to tie their shoes.

Hell, I was a smart kid and I still have trouble tying my shoes. I'm lazy though.
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Old 01-18-2005, 01:59 PM   #130
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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I don't know man.

My son is a bruiser but when he was three he did a WWF body slam knee into my balls and I he gave me a hernia and I needed surgery. Even as an infant when he got mad he could deliver a hell of a headbutt. I can still remember the headaches.....

Never underestimate a kid's ability to do damage.

I say anything more than twenty kids and you are toast. And I still think this is sick. But I like it.
I respectfully submit that you were not elbowing your son in the face as he was moving in for that headbutt. or snapping his neck.

point taken, though.
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Old 01-18-2005, 01:59 PM   #131
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Interesting. I see it as easy and efficient with no issues of tiring yourself out. It's pretty sick that I want to see how easy it is to grab a kids head right now.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:01 PM   #132
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

I killed eight 6-year-olds in a room no larger than a Burger King bathroom, so I'm guessing I could take 3 score 5-year-olds.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:01 PM   #133
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Re: What I think you guys are underestimating

If you could take the most intelligent 2+2ers at age five, ten of them could rock an adult.

-Michael
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:02 PM   #134
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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Interesting. I see it as easy and efficient with no issues of tiring yourself out. It's pretty sick that I want to see how easy it is to grab a kids head right now.
If by "sick" you mean "really awesome," then I agree.

This is similar to the feelings you get after a three or four hour GTA playing session followed by a drive. You just really really want to ram some cars off the road...

Back on topic, I just think snapping necks is going to take too much time, especially at the beginning. It won't tire you out, but I don't think you can afford to remain stationary long enough to bend down, get a grip on a flailing 5 year old, twist, and then back up again.

I think it might be a good tactic to utilize when you DO get tired out and the numbers are dwindling.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:04 PM   #135
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Ok ok. I just think people don't realize how hard it is to "knock someone out" especially a little 5 yr old. There like made of rubber.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:05 PM   #136
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Ok ok. I just think people don't realize how hard it is to "knock someone out" especially a little 5 yr old. There like made of rubber.

If you can kick 'em in the abdomen they'll be sucking wind long enough for you to come along in a minute and step on their necks.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:06 PM   #137
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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Ok ok. I just think people don't realize how hard it is to "knock someone out" especially a little 5 yr old. There like made of rubber.
This may be true, but it's also not hard to immobilize them. If I were to hit a 5-year-old in the face like I meant it, he's not going to be getting up and if he does, he's certainly not going to be doing anything useful. You could immobilize all of them and then come back for the finishing move at your convenience.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:06 PM   #138
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

I'd just like to add, kicking/kneeing and punting are big no-nos, if you trip at any time, you're done for.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:06 PM   #139
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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Ok ok. I just think people don't realize how hard it is to "knock someone out" especially a little 5 yr old. There like made of rubber.

If you can kick 'em in the abdomen they'll be sucking wind long enough for you to come along in a minute and step on their necks.
Exactly. As long as you take a bunch of them out of the game early, you can go along on neck-snapping clean-up duty later on.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:07 PM   #140
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

No way. 5-year-olds don't often get hit by someone whose life (or simulated life) depends on the little kids getting seriously hurt. One shot to most of these kids will put them on the ground, and even if they get up they'll be crying and incapacitated.

-Michael
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:09 PM   #141
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

I really don't think you want to get to a position when you are on one foot. If one of those bastards can get you to trip, there gonna swarm on you.

Oh yeah...welcome, did you get traded for TSC?

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Old 01-18-2005, 02:09 PM   #142
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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I killed eight 6-year-olds in a room no larger than a Burger King bathroom, so I'm guessing I could take 3 score 5-year-olds.
How did you avoid slipping all over the place? How did you keep them in the room? Licked door or something?

I'm interested in what you have to say and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:10 PM   #143
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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I killed eight 6-year-olds in a room no larger than a Burger King bathroom, so I'm guessing I could take 3 score 5-year-olds.
I once got busy in a burger king bathroom.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:11 PM   #144
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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No way. 5-year-olds don't often get hit by someone whose life (or simulated life) depends on the little kids getting seriously hurt. One shot to most of these kids will put them on the ground, and even if they get up they'll be crying and incapacitated.

-Michael
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.


I think people need to think of the 5 yr olds as animals and not babies. Or let me put it this way, would your answers change if we changed the question to same sized dwarves/midgets/little people?
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:11 PM   #145
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

How did you avoid slipping all over the place? How did you keep them in the room? Licked door or something?

Movies vastly overstate the amount of blood a dying person will release under the soothing touch of blunt force trauma.

Let's just say that was the last time I got to drive the carpool.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:13 PM   #146
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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Quote:
No way. 5-year-olds don't often get hit by someone whose life (or simulated life) depends on the little kids getting seriously hurt. One shot to most of these kids will put them on the ground, and even if they get up they'll be crying and incapacitated.

-Michael
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.


I think people need to think of the 5 yr olds as animals and not babies. Or let me put it this way, would your answers change if we changed the question to same sized dwarves/midgets/little people?
absolutely. I believe intelligence of attackers has everything to do with it. That and I'm irrationally afraid of the wee people.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:13 PM   #147
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What about with weapons?!!!

if the kids were brain-warped motivated, like 5-year-olds on PCP / Dr. Evil psychokids, then 30 is a fair bet. many more if not: they will all cry after a few blood-curdling screams and you show them an eyeball or two. if you get to pick out of 5x the number then 30 again. there are some strong enough to hurt you if you aren't big.

but, suppose each child is motivated and gets a very sharp one-inch knife. then i think it's more like 20.

and, suppose you could pick any weapon, but each kid gets the same weapon. what would you choose (if anything)? I would take a 35-pound spiked elongated mace or a 45-pound broadsword.

matt
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:13 PM   #148
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Man, someone needs to call FOX and set this up.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:14 PM   #149
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

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I think people need to think of the 5 yr olds as animals and not babies. Or let me put it this way, would your answers change if we changed the question to same sized dwarves/midgets/little people?
Yes, but not for the reasons you're trying to get at.

Midgets have adult intelligence, so you'd be more suceptible to strategy. I'd also wager they weigh a bit more on average.

That is an important factor -- are these 5 year olds rabid fighting machines, or just determined-but-still-normal 5 year olds? I mean, if they'll get up and keep fighting right away after you bust their limbs, that changes the equation.
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Old 01-18-2005, 02:16 PM   #150
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Re: What about with weapons?!!!

if they get a knife I put my number in the single digits. the bull rush strategy goes to [censored] in that scenario.

although now the picture of a 5 year old getting hit with a mace has me laughing out loud in my office.
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