This is a tough one. Have you ever seen the energy of a 5 year old. I think one would tire by the 2nd or 3rd wave.

are you made of glass? how hard do you think a 5 year-old could hit you? they'd be lucky to make bruises.

Yo my ex-girls son was 2 1/2 He poped my in the mouth busting my lip open.(we were playing of course) Dont entirely under estamate these little bastards.

How many of these 5 year olds are Hot Chicks? Just a joke fellas:/

Arite so I just thought up a strategy for it. Just keep running. Barrel through them like a they're pins in a bowling ally. They won't stand a chance, and they won't have a chance to trip you. They won't be able to lay a finger on you, as soon as your knee collides with their jaw it's lights out, and you'll have so much momentum going that it'd be like stopping a locamotive for them. I'm going with at least 40.

Also, I second that this is the best post I've seen on the forums in a long time.

We have to make a couple of assumptions for the answer to be more than 30.

First assumption: The 5 year olds will not attack en masse. Even if you get the first wave down, I don't care how badassed you are, you will tire very quickly and several will get in and latch onto your legs.

Second Assumption: picking up one kid and using them as a weapon is allowed. If this is the case, I can see you using this kid to knock out quite a few of them.

third assumption: the kids are removed from the arena after being knocked out. If this is not true, then I say maybe 25, but definitely no more than 30.


My reasoning is that you will simply tire out way too quickly to put up much of a fight for more than 10 minutes. Also, assuming a couple of the kids latch onto your legs making it harder for you to move, the rest could swarm you easily. I say the majority of you are highly over-estimating how good you are at fighting.

"I say the majority of you are highly over-estimating how good you are at fighting. "

Fighting is like poker and sex. It's one of those things people always think they are great at. Also like poker, they like to worship high profile players/fighters as if they were gods (Doyle's diseas/Bruce Lee nutriding). (I'm not sure if that' relevant to sex. Except sex with Bruce Lee).

I think you underestimate the ease at which I can remove a child from my leg when I don't feel a need to not hurt them.

Sure, one kid is no problem. How about 5? 10? 15?

See what I mean?

I mean, come on Patrick, this isn't rocket science.

(I had to, sorry)

I stand by my original estimate that I could take out an amount limited only by my own stamina and enough room to move around. Given the need, I can outrun a pack of 5-year-olds for quite a long time. I envision a strategy of keeping out of the pack and picking off the stragglers around the outside much like a group of lions or wolves working over a herd of prey. Do you know how easy it is to throw a kid to the ground just by grabbing his head and giving it the proper shove? It's even easier at speed. It wouldn't even slow me down. Another tactic would be to just bullrush the pack and just plow through the whole lot of them. If they're tall enough, my arms will be out clothesline style for maximum effectiveness. If not, my knees and overall mass will take out plenty. There is a peril with this strategy, though, and that is if you trip - you better get up quick.

It's not rocket science.

It would be an interesting world if this were rocket science.



That said, is it too early to nominate this for TOTY?

Only your 2nd assumption is true in this scenario.

So are you saying that once these 5yo battle royales start, we'd have posts like this?

"Man, WTF? I can't beat these 5-year olds! It's not possible. I punch and kick, but they just don't respect my strength! They have no muscles, but they won't go away! How are you supposed to beat up opponents like this? I need to start fighting older, stronger opponents who respect my strength and will back down once I start fighting."

I vote for the "out" kids to disappear as if it were a video game.

More to this, let's change the game a little bit. Let's say you can either play "Arcade" mode, "Sequential" mode or "Quick Game" mode.

Arcade Mode: You start with a set number of kids in the room, which is set by the difficulty rating. As each kid is immobilized, he disappears and a new one is generated and runs out on the field. You essentially are playing an endless game and are trying for a high score. Parameters can be changed so that, for instance, as you progress, maybe 2 kids come out for each one you knock out or maybe instead of kids coming in only when others are knocked out, maybe they come in at a certain time interval, which can speed up as time goes along. Maybe you get special bonuses for killer moves or taking out several kids at once. If you picked the easy mode, this could potentially go on seemingly forever, especially if you knew where the kids generated from and could just camp out right there and pop 'em in the face right as they run onto the field like we used to do playing multiplayer FPS games.

Sequential Mode: You start with one kid, knock him out, then two come out in the next round, then three, etc. Again, it's an endless game and you're playing for high score. Things like break time or health rejuvination between rounds can be discussed, as well as parameter changes discussed in Arcade Mode above.

Quick Game: You set the number of kids you want to begin with and once you're done with them, the game's over. This is pretty much what we've been talking about so far, I assume, and I think would be the toughest to get the high score in, depending on the exact parameters.

Clearly the possibilities are endless.

Awesome. I was thinking about this last night, but your Arcade / Simulation / Quick Game modes did a much better job laying out the possibilties than my thoughts could have.

Dude, once VR tech catches up, I see this as being a cult classic amongst the hardore gamers. If I were you, I'd add this post to my favorites so when the game invariably gets created, you can show prior art and make some serious cashesh.

This thread is golden, and this post is by far the best post in it.

It would be a lot. Way beyond single digits. If I hit a 5 year old once he ain't getting up. I can also take a 5 year-olds kick or punch pretty much anywhere, including the groin. So I'm just hitting them each once. That's it.

I still can't believe people are discussing "hitting". It is very much more efficient to snap the little bastards necks.

I think everyone needs to think about how tired they would get in this fight. Having 10 or 15 little guys jumping and crawling over you would tire you out in 2 minutes tops. Once you go down you are finished.

i say an average 22 year old could take on 12-13 kids, with any more taking you down.

B9

PS i love this type of [censored]

It's too time consuming to try to get a grip on a kid and then twist his neck. If you give these kids the second or two that it'd take to accomplish this, you're finished. Plowing or even flailing wildly would be much more effective. Speed and keeping out of their grasp is of the essence here. Plus, a breakneck strategy would require you to bee too close. Hitting gives you much more range and potentially lets you keep them somewhat at bay.

the jaw is not the strongest muscle in body

Well, I think a good solid knee / fist to the face WOULD snap their necks. Snapping necks sounds very inefficient, especially considering that they're going to be at knee-height for everyone except Evan.

I think Patrick's strategy is best so far -- keeping up to speed on the perimeter picking off stragglers, mixed with sprints through the pack to break them up and delivering knees to faces. Eventually I think you start resorting to using kids as weapons though. In fact, I think this might be a good idea right of the bat.

"Are they ill-tempered?"

Seriously though, I guess I'm giving these kids too much credit. I say a bum rush by 30 kids at once and you are toast. And remember Jake, line training takes too long.

I don't know man.

My son is a bruiser but when he was three he did a WWF body slam knee into my balls and I he gave me a hernia and I needed surgery. Even as an infant when he got mad he could deliver a hell of a headbutt. I can still remember the headaches.....

Never underestimate a kid's ability to do damage.

I say anything more than twenty kids and you are toast. And I still think this is sick. But I like it.