The problem I see with running around or kicking / flailing your legs is the potential for one of the little carcasses strewn about the room to get caught up in your legs. Inevitably, when this happens, the likelihood of a serious ACL or MCL injury is increased.

To avoid this undesirable situation I would most likely fight my way to an edge of the room, and essentially back up near a wall. By doing this I could guarantee that none of the buggers could get behind me and cause damage to my knees. Also, the proximity to the wall would afford you the opportunity to bash the anklebiters' heads against the wall one at a time until they are neutralized.

I could be down with that, although they have not been going on for a while.

you people are waaay over estimating your strength.

You're underestimating our speed. There is no way 30 kids could corner me to the point where I wouldn't be able to run around them. If this was eight year olds, you'd have a point, but five year olds are very slow, uncoordinated, and weak.

What makes you think any of them would be able to bite you anyway? Are you really going to be moving so slowly that they can get their mouth within biting range? I think the only limiting factor here is the size of the enclosed area. As long as you have room to move around and keep from getting swarmed, the amount of kids should be limitless.

Justin A

I think another good question would be how many ten year olds you could take on. Ten year olds at least have some strength and speed. I'm thinking the number would be close to ten. Five year olds are too easy.

Justin A

Another question, are we assuming all these five year olds are boys? Or are they mixed?

Justin A

When I was an undergrad there was this 100 pound sophmore freak that would get shitfaced off of vodka and start biting me. I would pick her up and throw her onto a couch/bed. She would bounce up like in about 2 seconds and then attack me again. The cycle went on and on. It happened every time she got shitfaced off of vodka. Not once did any of her bites phase me. If her bites couldn't phase me then there is no way a 5 year old's bite would. Well, the ear might be vulnerable. But if you are wearing a cup you will be ok.

They are prepubescent, does it matter?

I don't know about you guys, but this is the funniest thing I've read in months. One of the rare occasions where I can't control laughing out loud.

i think this is absolutely key. this is the size of a basketball court, i just run around plowing them over a few at a time. i bet i could take 50. the limitations would be how long i could fight before getting really tired and just how densely packed they became. i think i could incapacitate 50 5 year olds in 10 minutes. once you start going past 50 though, running around without messing up a knee or ankle by tripping over their little broken bodies would be the biggest issue.

That's low dude. How did I get to the point where people I've never even met are making fun of my size?

The other really interesting option would be a drunken UW 2+2 NL tourney once a month or something like that. I definitely plan on playing more low stakes drunken poker around campus this semester. My friends can't believe I make money online because I play like a maniac in $5 buy-in NL tourneys.

But yeah, I'd be up for trying to do that this semester if there were people interested. Although my class schedule is pretty tight around lunch.

The cup certainly helps-but my knees/shins remain vulnerable so I'd say.....

8

I have to think I could knock out that many with just my fists/short kicks before they break my shins

Well, Evan, midgets are always funny, whether you've met them or not.

Hmmmm, after reading nothumb's post, I think I may have been mistaken in my original assessment.

great post NT.

im sorry evan.

climb on up here and i will give you a hug....


peace

john nickle

Ya, when Nothumb said:

I started to think as long as you are in shape the number could be really really high.

LMAO, dude this is great stuff. Honestly, beating up 5 year olds would be like beating up noobs on Halo 2.

You're going to work tomorrow with an imaginary bullseye on every kid now aren't you? I can see you just slowly racking up a total kill count as the day wears on.

dude, I have only read 5 or 6 replies in this thread but damn, this is funny stuff.

this thread kicks so much ass it's not even funny

Eh, I work with teenagers now, most of 'em can bang too. City kids. I sometimes feel like it's me wearing the target.

NT

Quick, someone crosspost this to every first person shooter forum you can find. I'm sure someone can whip up a mod to simulate this, lol. Who here wouldn't download THAT mod??

In english please.

gang members, thugs, street kids.