My only request would be knee pads, and if they get a matching weapon/ defensive item, knee pads would be of no use to them.

My tactic would consist of running away, resting for the 5 seconds that it takes for them to catch up, running around and throwing heads into the ground and getting in big knees to the kids that allowed themselves to be separated out from the group. Punches would damage your fists too much to be useful en mass. They are too short for elbows. Straight on kicks to their heads and chests would be good in spots, but staying mobile and away from the mob is the most important consideration.

New kids would have to come out in groups of 10 or 15, if not, then they would just swarm you. But if they were released into the arena in groups of 10 or 15 and there was a crew to pull the bodies out, you could take down hundreds.

If there were 100 in a gym, you wouldn't have the stamina nor the room to manuver and you would be overwhelmed or wore out when they started attaching themselves to your legs and over running you. As long as they held onto your arms and legs while you were down, then eventually you would be rendered unconscious. This would be a very slow and painful process.

They won't hold on to you when you crack em one in the head. I think you could pretty easily stand there and build up a pile. I honestly couldn't imagine giving a 5 year old my best punch. It'd kill him pretty easily I'd think. I remember my brothers crying for getting charlie horses in the arm or leg and this was when I was 14 and they were like 11-12 years old. Now I'm 31 and they are 5 year olds? Cmon.

Lol. I'm reminded of a buddy who used to work as at a youth commission for our city and I remember dropping something off with him. He's 6'5" or so and actually had about 5 kids hanging on him as he was making his way across the park, pretty easily I might add. One punch and these kids would drop fairly quickly.

I could take 100s and thats not a brag.

All i have to do is throw my weight and fists around.

Keep kicking.

The small room and wall rules make it harder but come on!

5 year olds cannot take any kind of pressure to the head.

Im gettin pretty pumped thinkin about this.

Damn, I was hoping this bump meant there was a new advance in the world for fighting off 5 year olds.

I didn't read all the pages, but most of them, and I didn't see something mentioned. In the OP, it's said that you cannot touch the walls. I think that brings your number down. When you're running, or tired, you'd consider using the wall for balance or rest.

I think this aspect was overlooked by almost everyone. Not only would stamina be a factor, but also the punishment your fists, knees, and elbows would take. The human skull is extremely hard and after kneeing 4 or 5 kids your knee would really hurt and make it hard to run away. If you went with punching, you would eventually break/sprain your wrist.

The most important aspect is how well the kids respond to the training. The instructor would really have to stress working in large groups and going for the legs. If there were an instructor present that would shout instructions the number would drop quite a bit. However, I think that despite the training, as soon as you started running around, their initial gameplan would go out the window and they would not be smart enough to come up with new ideas.

Ok so I believe that most of these estimations are incorrect for a few reasons:
The 5 yr olds will not be able to restrain you very well, they may be able to get you on the floor but if you curl up they could pretty much do nothing to you...as for getting out of that position you all are seeming to forget the strength that would be granted when you get adrenaline pumping through your veins at the yell of however many 5 year olds screeching at the top of their lungs whatever battle cries they may have made up.

Whatever training was given to them for only 1 day would not make any impact except for maybe 5 or six of the 5 yr olds that would actually pay attention. But, the hindrance of their size and weight and inadequately developed muscles and minds would not allow them to implement most or all of whatever techniques they may may have learned from their 1 day of training. The single hour of training would be much more effective at helping you because you would be no doubt learning pressure points that would be too easy to hit on a much slower than you 5 yr old.

If the children could surround you (which would happen) they might stop you from using your legs or knees but no way would they be able to stop you from using your arms or hands. I am 6'5" and most (if not all) 5 year olds I have seen don't even come up to my hips so my arms would not be hindered in any way.

Also you all seem to be forgetting that while you may have a sensitive spot in your groin or elsewhere, SO DO THE KIDS!! If you think that a 5 year olds' bite could break through a hard rubber/plastic cup then I definitely think that you could break through that cup thereby rendering them very prone to groin shots with your foot.

Speaking of sensitive spots...the "temple" and under the jaw are very soft and easily knock out a person when pressure is applied (say when a fist comes flying into it at high speeds) the neck of a child is also a potential target for a soft hit for your hand or arm. These spots are also out of reach for a 5 year old unless they had some freaky steroids.

Assuming that you had no remorse for the children you are hitting you could go all out and would be able to take out a lot more 5 year olds than you may think that you normally could even with stamina problems. If people can run 3.2 miles in 17 minutes and then run a 11.5 second 100 meter finish, you can contribute the finish to the adrenaline of the runner and the same would be true for you when you would be fighting the 5 year olds. You simply would not tire quickly.

Wow I'm sure that gonores didn't think that his "drunken debate" would get this much analytical conversation from sober people...

Ty

Funny article I just read - "How to win a fight against twenty children"

http://www.cracked.com/blog/2008/08/...enty-children/

Excellent bump

and excellent article brought it all back.

LOL....

this weekend, i took 20 minutes to map out a plan for my girlfriend a plan if (when) there is ever a level-3 zombie outbreak, but i apparently need to now develop a plan for the random 20-kid attack...

gotta love the internet.

Well i've been playing soccer for quite some time and a 5 year old aint much diffrent than a ball. Just keep moving, running around, kicking little Tommys all over the place.

I saw this video of the Rocket's mascot taking on kids, and it reminded me of this thread. Looks like he handles a dozen before they take up arms.

An adult midget has got to be much much stronger than a 5 year old.

bump

You are dealing with 5 year olds who are just entering school. Not 12 or 13 year olds who have enough of an attention span to gain anything from training.

You should be able to take on an entire room packed with them because you could grab one of them by the feet and spin around knocking all of them down.

People with lower numbers will not assume that dirty fighting is okay and will not think outside the box, which results in lower numbers. If you actually put your mind to this, there are over 9000 ways to beat over 9000 5 year olds in a fight.

This would be fun. I'd say I could take on 150. It all depends how tired you get knocking them out. Punch the jaw, or under the ear = knockout

I'm an Elementary School Teacher.
5 year old children are way too innocent, young and small. They need their shoe laces tied, their milk and story time, and their mittens put on. You could stand there and let them hit you all you all they want, it won't matter. 1 or a 1000 makes no difference. Tell most of them very sternly to sit down or you'll take away their play time or their snack and a lot of them will do as they are told. Children need protection from adults, they're not meant or designed to fight. They know their mommy and daddy are there to protect them. 1 day of training is useless. Children spend their whole childhood learning to understand all kinds of simple concepts. They won't ever learn to fight or understand battle strategy or tactics in a day, nor do they have the mental ability do do so. We're teaching simple arithmetic, like 2+2=4, and In our society children are in a way programmed and taught to obey and listen to orders and at that age doing so is a vital part of their survival and maturity process, even though they very often don't and test out their boundaries. If they are older then this question is totally different.

Only until you come across that genetic freak, 1 in a million who not only has the size but the mental fearlessness and aggression of perhaps a troubled home life and has another few of them or more to help him will you ever stand the chance of losing this.

I imagine a 1000000~infinite x Kindergarten Mr.Smiths vs. Neo in the Matrix type situation. Only, after one starts crying they all do, and start peeing their pants. That would be an Elementary School Teacher nightmare. Maybe then you'd lose because you wouldn't be able to handle an eternity of infinite crying children.

bat

why?

because bat.

dunno, came across it and felt like it would be worthy to bump

Why question a bump of a legendary thread?

I didn't know how many it was gonna take... but I knew how many they were gonna use. Thats a good piece of information to have right there.