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How many 5 year-olds..... How many 5 year-olds.....

05-03-2006 , 10:52 AM
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Are you allowed to use one the kids to wield at other kids ala a sword?

It is not hard at all to swing them around and if so then i have a feeling you could just swing around in a little circle and knock them all out as they get close to you.
You stole this from the Matrix.
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05-03-2006 , 11:26 AM
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If the kids get a little training, there's no way you can take on 30. One of them is going to get in a good shot below the belt. Then another will. Then another. You'll go down soon enough. Soon, you'll be getting kicked in the head and then it's lights-out.

You'd be lucky to handle 10.
You must be the weakest grown person in the world or 10 years old. A five year old runs slower than a typical adult's brisk walk. A five year old can barely open a typical gas station door. A five year old can be put out of commission (to a crying fit) for at least ten minutes by shove of similar strength required to open a typical gas station door. The number for a typical male adult is much bigger than ten and probably a good deal bigger than 30.
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05-03-2006 , 11:34 AM
i think everyone is overestimating how big a five year old is. you could knock out a couple with every kick you throw.

i'd say i could take 50 easy. are they allowed to reach into my cup? that's the only way they do any damage at all. and whenever they grab you, you just punch them in top of the head and that kid is out.
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05-03-2006 , 11:40 AM


Ong-Bak versus 5-year olds would be one of the coolest things ever.
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05-03-2006 , 12:00 PM
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If the kids get a little training, there's no way you can take on 30. One of them is going to get in a good shot below the belt. Then another will. Then another. You'll go down soon enough. Soon, you'll be getting kicked in the head and then it's lights-out.

You'd be lucky to handle 10.
You must be the weakest grown person in the world or 10 years old. A five year old runs slower than a typical adult's brisk walk. A five year old can barely open a typical gas station door. A five year old can be put out of commission (to a crying fit) for at least ten minutes by shove of similar strength required to open a typical gas station door. The number for a typical male adult is much bigger than ten and probably a good deal bigger than 30.
Am I the only one somewhat amused by this guy's frepeated use of the "pushing open a gas door" metric of strength? Do you work at a sunoco or something?
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05-03-2006 , 01:31 PM
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If the kids get a little training, there's no way you can take on 30. One of them is going to get in a good shot below the belt. Then another will. Then another. You'll go down soon enough. Soon, you'll be getting kicked in the head and then it's lights-out.

You'd be lucky to handle 10.
You must be the weakest grown person in the world or 10 years old. A five year old runs slower than a typical adult's brisk walk. A five year old can barely open a typical gas station door. A five year old can be put out of commission (to a crying fit) for at least ten minutes by shove of similar strength required to open a typical gas station door. The number for a typical male adult is much bigger than ten and probably a good deal bigger than 30.
Am I the only one somewhat amused by this guy's frepeated use of the "pushing open a gas door" metric of strength? Do you work at a sunoco or something?
I am getting at a specific type of door and gas station is the only place that I can think of that still almost universally uses said door. The type is the self closing door with the mechanism at the top that applies minor pressure in order to close the door after someone passes through it. Similar to a screen door, but usually the ones in public places require somewhat more pressure to open. Obviously, a five year old could open a regular door, and many places like supermarkets have eliminated this type of door in favor of the fully automatic kind which a five year old can also obviously open. I was trying to call up the correct mental image with as few words as possible. I guess you could read McDonalds or Olive Garden instead of gas station if you like, but I happened to see a 5 year old struggle with a gas station door this morning which is why it came to mind.
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05-03-2006 , 02:04 PM
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If the kids get a little training, there's no way you can take on 30. One of them is going to get in a good shot below the belt. Then another will. Then another. You'll go down soon enough. Soon, you'll be getting kicked in the head and then it's lights-out.

You'd be lucky to handle 10.
You must be the weakest grown person in the world or 10 years old. A five year old runs slower than a typical adult's brisk walk. A five year old can barely open a typical gas station door. A five year old can be put out of commission (to a crying fit) for at least ten minutes by shove of similar strength required to open a typical gas station door. The number for a typical male adult is much bigger than ten and probably a good deal bigger than 30.
Am I the only one somewhat amused by this guy's frepeated use of the "pushing open a gas door" metric of strength? Do you work at a sunoco or something?
I am getting at a specific type of door and gas station is the only place that I can think of that still almost universally uses said door. The type is the self closing door with the mechanism at the top that applies minor pressure in order to close the door after someone passes through it. Similar to a screen door, but usually the ones in public places require somewhat more pressure to open. Obviously, a five year old could open a regular door, and many places like supermarkets have eliminated this type of door in favor of the fully automatic kind which a five year old can also obviously open. I was trying to call up the correct mental image with as few words as possible. I guess you could read McDonalds or Olive Garden instead of gas station if you like, but I happened to see a 5 year old struggle with a gas station door this morning which is why it came to mind.
Very good explanation! Sarcastic comment rescinded.
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05-03-2006 , 02:22 PM
If the opponent could search the world and pick the biggest toughest 5 year olds the answer would be fewer than most anyone said. The most unrealistic requirement is that the 5 year olds aren't afraid. If they were physically 5 year olds, but mentally Green Berets, it wouldn't take that many of them. Ten large fearless 5 year olds that jump on you simultaneously and start biting and trying to grab and bite your nuts would be very difficult to deal with. Ten more in reserve would probably do just about anyone in. If they were a real group of 5 year olds, you could use your deepest, loudest, meanest voice and yell at them and they will throw in the towel.
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05-03-2006 , 03:07 PM
If they are trained, then they will be trained to group before attacking, so where they start doesn't matter.

I would like to train them. I would train them to for chicken fighters (fat kids with smaller on shoulders) hahah. They need to group and try and get you to the ground. All that is needed is one good eye gouge, or cup removal/ball kick (or headbut)

I can't believe I'm responding to this thread.

I think swinging a kid would be the way to go. You could take off a kids leg and use it as a weapon, and the would be really really intimidating.

How many chimps could you take. IE, if you think you can take 30 kids, how many chimps (give your answer in a fraction, like 1/5 as many chips as kids)
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05-03-2006 , 04:09 PM
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How many chimps could you take. IE, if you think you can take 30 kids, how many chimps (give your answer in a fraction, like 1/5 as many chips as kids)
As a fraction: 0/(any number goes here)

EDIT: Provided the chimp was trained for combat (would take more than an hour), or really wanted to kill you.
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05-03-2006 , 04:28 PM
I did some research and it looks like chimps are 4-7 times stronger than humans. Ineterestingly enough I saw this quote from janegoodall.org

"By age five they [chimpanzees] are stronger than most human adults."

So how many 5 year old chimps do you think you could take, given you had equal strength? Meaning, how many additional chimps would your height and mental advantages allow you to dispose of? Neither you nor the chimps have any special training.
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05-03-2006 , 04:57 PM
Chimps are tough, they WILL bite your fingers off. Many documented cases of chimps attacking humans (most end in bit off fingers). A full grown chimp could kill most humans easily.

Damn dirty apes.

LLL
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05-11-2006 , 07:46 AM
I think this entire thread would have been more interesting if we had replaced '5 year old' with 'midgets.'
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05-11-2006 , 08:25 AM
how so? midgets can be just as strong as you; they are just shorter...u couldn't take on many midgets at all...they could be trained to hit your pressure points, etc, whereas 5 year olds can't really

i don't think u can take on more than 3 midgets
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07-24-2006 , 10:11 PM
Ya..In grade 7, I took on like 5 grade 4's (8-10). I injuried many of them and got away with only a bloody lip. We were on a small soccer feild on the school yard and they al piled ontop of me, but i did have the soccer ball instead of kids..
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07-25-2006 , 05:06 AM
Grunch, and a brillian question LOL

As the father of a 5 year old and the participant in many qualifying-like sessions, my personal record is 8.

My genitals do not want to find out whether I can go any farther than that, either. If those little [censored] were trained to go for your nuts, you'd be lucky to hold off more than a handful. When they swarm, it's impossible to get em all.
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07-25-2006 , 05:20 AM
id say 22-27. if the all attack simultaneously, with great teamworck, id say 7-12. while they are samll, the punches in the nuts would def. hurt. also some would be biting. if 10 kids could surround you, that would be about 400-600 lbs of human.

I guess, i changed my mind. i handle 17.
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07-25-2006 , 07:33 AM
Three Hundred.
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07-25-2006 , 09:33 AM
Did you register just to bump this thread?
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07-25-2006 , 09:43 AM
I have done some brazilian jiu jitsu ground fighting and i think the number would look like this. Ground fighting wears your ass out so if they could A (how many 5 year olds to get you down) + B (number of five year olds to straight dog pile you to wear you out and immobilize you)+ C (number of five year olds to place kick your face) you have your answer. A i don't think i can answer. B would be in the 10-15 range assuming they all hop on quick. that's a lot of weight and will tire you out. C would be in the 10 range i think. I'm not sure how many it would take to get me down though.
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07-25-2006 , 08:26 PM
Anyone else think of ? Certainly one technique for the kids is on display there, grabbing clothes.

I'd say the training for the kids would have to focus on swarming, tripping and jumping on the adult with special attention paid to stomping on your head once you are down. Probably motivate the kids with something like "A bad man who killed your mommy and daddy is going to be in this room. No matter how many of you he hurts it's very important for you to take him down so he doesn't kill anyone else's mommy or daddy." If you've been knocked down and the kids pile on you it's over.

Personally I have a VERY high tolerance for pain and more than 5 years of martial arts training so I'd go with 50+.
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08-05-2006 , 03:03 PM
My kid isn't even 5 yet, but he weighs over 50 lbs and has been watching power rangers way too much. He goes for my eyes and ears with pinches and scratches when we wrestle. His stamina is never-ending. My stamina isn't.

His training has been to recreate Foreman-Frazier, Leonard-Duran and, most unfortunately for me, Tyson-Hollyfield. When he lands a roundhouse there is enough power behind it to cause some damage if he hits a sensitive spot.

Its a finite number, and I think its under 20 for sure. As discussed above, once you are on the ground your day is done.
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08-13-2006 , 02:22 PM
Ok so this forum is old, but I just stumbled across it. I am laughing so damn hard its ridiculous. Now that my girl is totally pissed off at me, b/c she has a 5 year old I have to put my 2 sense in...

Ok, so we start out by doing a strong enough kick, to break their little knee caps. By doing this, we can easily take out 3-6 kids with each kick. NP at all. I could do this for days. Now that they are all incapacitated, and are screaming bloody hell, a good number of them are going to be pass out from the pain, (rendering then unconcious). The rest you just have to walk up to pop them in the head, and they are done. I say we do away with the training, and just go for the event.

Now, On the topic with the little bastards getting mom and/or dad. Bring the [censored]. here si the perfect thing. Since you have an endless # of little bastard kids that are all now unconcious, you can beat the parents with. They wont pick up a kid, b/c they will be afraid of doing more damage, so you have the upper hand.

I say, with this is mind I could easily take on 80+.

BTW - Props to the guy who posted the pic of the ethiopian 5 year old. That was great, really added to the humor here.

Somewhere someone mentioned a bunch of little kids grabbing ahold of your legs??? Ok, if anyone has ever played football with the neighborhood kids, you know that wont do much. I can easily walk around with 12 kids all hanging on to my feet, pants, and legs.

Now, to the video game. If you want to play something similar play Savage, its mostly real time melee combat.

The ideas where great, and props to you should you actually do anything with it, and make any money from it.

Well, I hope this thread never dies, and I hope that there Big Brother is out there, watching this thread, and every single one of them are sitting there, reading these post with their jaws wide open, in total aww, b/c someone (actually alot of people) can think like this. I saw we substitute the 5 year olds, with the people that directly involved with the US Gov't, and see how many, we can take and for how long.
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11-20-2006 , 03:05 AM
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funny if it weren't true:

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets
How many 5 year-olds..... Quote
11-20-2006 , 03:59 AM
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Ok so this forum is old, but I just stumbled across it. I am laughing so damn hard its ridiculous. Now that my girl is totally pissed off at me, b/c she has a 5 year old I have to put my 2 sense in...

Ok, so we start out by doing a strong enough kick, to break their little knee caps. By doing this, we can easily take out 3-6 kids with each kick. NP at all. I could do this for days. Now that they are all incapacitated, and are screaming bloody hell, a good number of them are going to be pass out from the pain, (rendering then unconcious). The rest you just have to walk up to pop them in the head, and they are done. I say we do away with the training, and just go for the event.

Now, On the topic with the little bastards getting mom and/or dad. Bring the [censored]. here si the perfect thing. Since you have an endless # of little bastard kids that are all now unconcious, you can beat the parents with. They wont pick up a kid, b/c they will be afraid of doing more damage, so you have the upper hand.

I say, with this is mind I could easily take on 80+.

BTW - Props to the guy who posted the pic of the ethiopian 5 year old. That was great, really added to the humor here.

Somewhere someone mentioned a bunch of little kids grabbing ahold of your legs??? Ok, if anyone has ever played football with the neighborhood kids, you know that wont do much. I can easily walk around with 12 kids all hanging on to my feet, pants, and legs.

Now, to the video game. If you want to play something similar play Savage, its mostly real time melee combat.

The ideas where great, and props to you should you actually do anything with it, and make any money from it.

Well, I hope this thread never dies, and I hope that there Big Brother is out there, watching this thread, and every single one of them are sitting there, reading these post with their jaws wide open, in total aww, b/c someone (actually alot of people) can think like this. I saw we substitute the 5 year olds, with the people that directly involved with the US Gov't, and see how many, we can take and for how long.
Lol good post.
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