I say never. Having the protection of a teammate to bail me out on the rare occasion I get in trouble is huge, well worth doubling the tykes, possibly tripling.

-Michael

Hell, if I just fended off 75 rabid 5 year olds, you'd better believe I'm going to go WWF style on those last 25 just for giggles.

Jesus, I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying over here.

-Diplomat

That's because you let the kid get within striking reach of a part of your body that's soft and vulnerable. Have the kid punch you just as hard in the shin and he'd break his fist. Also, if you had punched the kid back even at half force he'd probably be dead. These kids are so weak, I'd say you can probably knock out a good 20 or 30 just in the first minute by zig-zagging through the crowd so they can't get a grip on you and grabbing random ones by the head to keep them still while you punch them in the face.

The kids would suffer more from the presence of corpses than you would. At least you have the agility to avoid the corpses-these 5 year olds are so uncoordinated and can only take small steps so you have to assume most of them would trip over some corpses on their way to rush you. At that point, you could just step on their heads or kick them in the face. I might even think that it gets easier and easier to get these kids the more you've downed as you can adjust to the terrain better.

You'd have to hunch over so low to actually tackle/barrel into them that you'd fall over the second one of the kids pushes you. A much better strategy would be the zig-zag and punch approach I mentioned earlier.

A group of little kids were walking through my campus today. I could swear they were eyeing me out- I know it. I almost went medieval on their asses!

I'm thinking the best approach would be to rip the legs off one of the spindly ones and use the bloody legs like clubs.

You can't pull a leg off a kid... just swing the whole kid around.

Anyone else think of the following regarding this thread?



~D

obviously you've never seen me eat chicken wings.

I love the nech snapping idea.

Would probably be best to pick your moments though. Like say you have one not really in the group coming towards you. This would be a moment to neck snap..

Maybe afterwords you can toss the toddler into a small group of them to immobilize for a few moments. Perhaps even use the neck snapped as a weapon until another nech snapping oppertunity comes along.

Typcially, when eating 5-year olds it's considered pour etiquette to rip the leg off before you eat it. As long as the leg is rigid, this shouldn't be a problem.

Excuse me. This was my strategy. Except that it calls for kicks rather than knees.

NT

This by far my favorite line in the whole thread: Had me laughing for a good minute or two.

I agree. I heard about an 800 pound tiger getting killed by a pack of 30-40 wild dogs. I think the five year olds would have you on the ground pretty quick and that's the ballgame.

wuss

"If I somehow get knocked on the ground, what is the worst thing they could do?"

Sit all over you pinning you down, then sit on your throat. They could certainly stop you getting back up and claim a Judo victory.

Some thoughts: I think the best way to imagine this is Zombie five-year olds. Zombies don't get frightened and are willing to take as many hits as they can before being incapacitated.

If you did it on a bouncy castle (that's what a Moonwalk is, right?) you really wouldn;t be able to take many. Those things are fairly enclosed, but more importanly you would absolutely not be able to keep your balance for very long when they threw themselves at you.

I'm taking the under on this, assuming the over/under is around 30. If a large mass of five year olds charges into your legs, it'll knock you over. If they're normal stupid frightened five year olds, its much more, but that's not hat I understand the problem to be.

I don;t think the zig-zag through the crowd would work; you'd lose momentum as more and more tried to grab your legs and you'd eventually go down.

Its my daughters birthday in May, may be the year to hire a bouncy castle invite her class round and see what games I can get going (my dauhter will be safely left in the house of course).

I've been thinking about this, and my weapon of choice would definitely be a chipper/shredder. It would get slippery, but I'm thinking I could chuck a few of the kids in there and then "aim" the small shards of flesh and bone at the eyes of the other children, blinding them. Rinse and repeat.

depravity level of the thread just got upped.

The problem here is that there's not just going to be one of these - all the kids will each have their own too. So you'll have 100 chipper/shredders. Actually, this might be to your advantage, as it would inhibit any sort of massive herd if they were scattered about the playing field and you could potentially arrange them in such a way to give you a territory advantage where you could force them to come at you one or a few at a time.

If they all get their own chipper/shredder, then I'd have to say that's a no go. Take up too much space. Hmmm...maybe a flame thrower. I doubt the kids could get it started...but the smell would be horrible.

I guess I'm just old-school. I'll take no weapon or one that would essentially boil down to no weapon.

True enough. I was just trying to maximize my score is all.