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Old 01-18-2005, 12:06 AM   #1
gonores
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How many 5 year-olds.....

Good drunken debate from a few nights ago.

The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:09 AM   #2
Dynasty
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

If the kids get a little training, there's no way you can take on 30. One of them is going to get in a good shot below the belt. Then another will. Then another. You'll go down soon enough. Soon, you'll be getting kicked in the head and then it's lights-out.

You'd be lucky to handle 10.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:09 AM   #3
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

all of them.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:11 AM   #4
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

since i have worked out now for 3 straight weeks and therefore am in better shape than you, i say your score, plus one...

31
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:12 AM   #5
Evan
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

No way you can take on 30. I think the number is in the single digits.

Also, does the fact that I might have a hard time really hitting a 5 year old matter? Or should I just assume that if the situation were to arise I could go after them full on?
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:12 AM   #6
Alobar
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

damn, this could very well be the best hypothetical question ever posed on these boards

I think 30 is waaaay to high. Imagine 30 5 year olds all swarming you at once, biting you in the balls, gouging(sp) your eyes. If they handt had training first then I think you could do 30, but if they actually followed the training, no way in hell.

Your average 5 year old weights what? 40 pounds? So figure 15 of them weigh around 600 pounds. If they all swarmed you at once thats alot of weight.

Hmmm, I see it being really dificult for them to knock you out tho, they lack the power I would think. But if they all bit you or tore at your manhood I think the loss of blood/pain would do the trick. I dunno...I think I could take 10 definately, 15 would be hard. 20 tops.

damn, this is going to require much reflection. Someday when I'm uber rich I'm gunna buy a [censored] load of 5 year olds on the black market and try this out
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:14 AM   #7
Mark L
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

ok, so you start in the middle of the room, they surround you and charge in from all directions at the same time?
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:17 AM   #8
gonores
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

You start in the middle, they start at random locations in the room.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:17 AM   #9
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Wouldn't you hurt your hand something fierce after knocking out about 10-15 of them? I suppose punching would be the method of choice since slamming their heads into the ground would put your body lower towards the ground, increasing their chances of taking you down. I'd imagine you'd break at least one finger/bone/knuckle during your encounter, thus limiting your number.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:19 AM   #10
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Are you allowed to use one the kids to wield at other kids ala a sword?

It is not hard at all to swing them around and if so then i have a feeling you could just swing around in a little circle and knock them all out as they get close to you.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:20 AM   #11
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Zero in on the one who appears toughest - Kick his ass and then you own the rest of them.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:21 AM   #12
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

The latter one....no morals involved. And c'mon....I'm a relatively decent-sized 23 year-old. Once my trainers advise me as to whether roundhouse punches or roundhouse kicks are more effective, I've got to be dropping most of those rugrats in one or two blows. Having coached 5 year-olds on the soccer field, I can say with near-certainty I could take on my entire team of 12 with no problems.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:21 AM   #13
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Quote:
Are you allowed to use one the kids to wield at other kids ala a sword?

It is not hard at all to swing them around and if so then i have a feeling you could just swing around in a little circle and knock them all out as they get close to you.
damn, brilliant idea
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:21 AM   #14
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

I think this question is way more interesting if the kids aren't trained. Then you could take on a ton.

-Michael
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:21 AM   #15
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

I am surprised at these answers. I am not that strong of a guy but I was thinking a way bigger number. Probably over 100. Do you guys realize how small 5 yr olds are? One kick to the face and they would be down for the count. The area would be pretty big and you are obviously a lot faster than them so you could just kind of run at around and pick off the ones on the edges of the mob without letting yourself get surrounded. Also I think you guys overestimate how much the training would help them. They probably woulnd't pay much attention to the teacher and wouldn't remember what they had learned the next day anyways. Their biting and whatever else would be no match for your constantly flailing arms and legs that would take them down with a single blow. And how are they ever going to get you to go unconscious? Even if they got you on the ground you could just keep flailing your arms and kicking your legs and they would be no match for you. Plus alot of them would be scared of you despite their training. Thats probably one of the biggest factors. Once they see you kicking their freinds ass they are going to go try to hide in the corner and then you can just go take em down 1 by 1. Im starting to think 100 is even low, fill up the whole damn gym.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:22 AM   #16
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

how tall is the avg 5 yr old?

i actually think 30 is a pretty good number, but it could easily be much higher. the fact that you have to be knocked unconscious is what does it. these kids have to get you on the ground and hit you pretty friggin hard. even when your on the ground with a few of them on you, it shouldnt be too hard to get them off.

PLUS, at their height its probably pretty easy to kick them in the face (unless youre Evan). this might knock them unconscious right away.

whoever said the answer is single digits is stupid, stupid, stupid.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:22 AM   #17
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Quote:
I think this question is way more interesting if the kids aren't trained. Then you could take on a ton.

-Michael
naw, without training it would be to easy, it would basically last until you ran out of stregnth from dropping them like flies.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:22 AM   #18
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

30 would be a piece of cake. I mean what could they really do to you besides bite you? And how would they be able to knock you out? Even if they are given training, I doubt they would be any good at working as a team and they probably would all just scatter in fear.

In terms of knocking them out, I would prefer to use my feet to avoid breaking a knuckle, but I doubt any of them would be heavy enough to really damage my knuckles anyway. My primary kill tactic would be to knock them down and slam their heads against the ground.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:24 AM   #19
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

I'm not going to post my estimate just yet but damn Dynasty, only 10? First off, 1 day of combat training isn't going to mean anything, they'll forget it all by nap time the next day. Also, 1 hit to the face or torso region sends these punks sprawling and crying on the ground. Plus, they'd be scared shitless. These are real 5 year olds we're talking about, not some cryogenically frozen mutant kids hellbent on seeing your demise. 10 is a gross underestimate.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:24 AM   #20
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

I would go up to 53.

Ity would be a wholescale slaughter. Those little people would be in a world of pain.

Oh and training them? 5 year olds have a 10 second attention span. Half of them still piss there pants . Think they can remember team work and martial arts?
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:25 AM   #21
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

have you ever been kicked, punched, or bitten in the balls? I Think you are underestimating the damage 5 year olds could do.

You bring up a very good point tho, once you drop the first one and the blood flies the lot of them are going to piss them selves and run screaming.

I think we should add that they are all hopped up on PCP and rabid. That way the psycholical effect of you smashing their little friends doesnt effect the total number you could take down.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:25 AM   #22
gonores
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Quote:
Plus alot of them would be scared of you despite their training.
I forgot to mention that. We must assume there is a motivating force greater than fear at work for the kiddies here. Maybe I'll bribe them with a juice box if they succeed. Either way, they aren't going to get scared.

I fixed the main post to reflect this.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:25 AM   #23
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

I just hope we don't mistake you for them if you're in the gym watching.

I think I could handle a bunch of them. I'm 6'3 and they're not getting anywhere inside my long reach.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:26 AM   #24
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

Dynasty, I think you skimmed a little too hastily over this stipulation:

Quote:
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
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Old 01-18-2005, 12:27 AM   #25
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Re: How many 5 year-olds.....

This would be like the Neo-Smith fight scene in Matrix Reloaded. I think I could take on way more than 30. I don't see how they could ever knock me out. Plus the fact that only a limited number of them could be attacking me at once. I think I could go on until I'm completely wore out. So... my answer is a lot.
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