facebook and myspace are just dating sites with a thin veneer of something else, go for it mate

You have two equally good options here, man:

1. Take out your service weapon and have an "accidental discharge" -just a little graze on your leg. Make sure she's working in the ER that day. Bingo, bango, bongo, my man!

2. Go to her granny's (or whereever she lives) and ask her out. Start with coffee.

Your choice to how painful you wanna make it.

This was my immediate thought after reading the op. I read until I found it and haven't read anything below this.

A message w/out adding is the best way to go. If she likes you, she'll respond. If she doesn't, you'll get to see her at least one more time when she comes to the station to file a restraining order against you.

When the brother's gf gets out of jail (if she isn't already), you should frame her by throwing a brick through the gma's window. Hot granddaughter will show up in due time to check on her beloved gma.

this man is a pickup champion

im surprised nobody has mentioned it but since you're a cop i think being at a hospital isn't as sketchy as if you were her plumber.

like, i would probably just swing by when i knew she was working and hope for a casual conversation then move in for the kill.

Shut up, no one wants to hear your actual, good advice.

I once had my street-parked car get totaled in a hit-and-run. I called the cops to file a report.

A cute redhead in her mid-20s shows up and takes a statement from me. I show her the smashed car, and she starts flirting, jokingly giving me a hard time about it and touching me on the shoulder. I was so mad about the car it wasn't until a few minutes after she left that the realization hit me: I could have bagged a hot female REDHEADED cop. GRRRR!!!!!

In hindsight I think I am more angry about missing the boat on the cop than selling my car for scrap. I mean seriously, a uniform, cuffs... what's not to like here?

again, dalerobk is right here.

i think it's really inappropriate for you to be hitting on girls you meet while on duty. it doesnt matter whether you wait until after the prelim or not - you should not be pursuing girls that you meet while on your rounds.

these people expect you to show up and act in a professional manner, not contacting their granddaughter on facebook later. this is incredibly immature imo. my response would not be the same if she was showing a lot of interest in you, but you are clearly going way out of your way to pursue this.

Gotta disagree. People meet through work all the time. Just have to not abuse it if you are in a position of authority or confidentiality. OP has demonstrated his awareness of this through posting.

Bingo!

I don't think it's necessarily bad to ask someone out you met in an official capacity-- I mean, you can't control where/how you meet someone-- but, uh, sitting around for a week fantasizing about her first, because you haven't been meeting any women, can't be good for you.

But he has a perfect excuse in waiting till prelim or some other "official" event. Unless she reads this, of course.

Sure, but it’s not like he was stopping in for a cup of coffee and bumped into some random chick while he happened to be on duty. Chick’s family called the police because they felt it was necessary to have an uninterested and objective authority to remove the nut-job and do so through physical violence if necessary. Do you guys not see the difference?

Furthermore, the case is still pending. If he should be called on to testify, the assumption will be that he is, in fact, an uninterested professional police officer. This will obviously now be up for question because he is now personally involved with a member of the family involved. To dismiss that by saying the chick is “not involved” is ridiculous. She’s the sister of the guy with nut-job. OP, if chick goes out with you, will you notify the judge and lawyers involved before testifying that you are involved with her? Will you notify your supervisor? And if you don’t and nut-job is convicted, could that be grounds for an appeal?

And for those of you who are saying this is no big deal, what if you’re that woman? What if a person who only knows your name and address through their official role as an authority with real power then uses that info to contact you for personal reasons? Does that honestly not seem like an abuse of their position?

Look, I’m a man and have two testicles and all, so I understand OP’s spot here. I’m not even against contacting her, but OP has to make it look coincidental and not purposeful. Furthermore, if he ever had any official role in this case (filing a report or testifying) he should notify everyone involved about his personal involvement with said chick.

Is it more honest to fake a coincidence? Obviously there are boundaries while he is a potential witness and grandma is the victim. Being a witness is an essential function of his job, and compromising his credibility by dating a relative of the victim in a case is very bad. But he can be friends until such time as he is free to be more. I suggested talking to grandma and saying "is GD single/seeing anyone" b/c this tips GD off to his personal non-work-related interest, and when he later sends FB mesage, she can accept or not to show whether interest is reciprocated. FB is okay as long as they are aware that it can be used to discredit him in court without notice to him, so words such as "throbbing" and "moist" should be avoided.

Ask her out for a donut wins the thread.

SIIHP would have also.

No. It's equally unethical. But the key part to "fake" is deception.

Just pull her over for crossing the yellow line.

Honestly I wouldn't add her on facebook. I don't see the difference between facebook and just asking her out in person while in uniform, in terms of how uncomfortable you're going to make her or whatever. Just because in one situation you're on duty, and the other one you're techincally not (although I thought a lot of police depts have an "always on duty" policy now), doesn't mean the reason for the rule goes away.

Maybe when you see her next time say something like "I'm not gonna be back here taking care of YOUR crazy boyfriend am I?" It asks the question without asking the question. If you have to, say something like "I'm not supposed to ask you out but" or "it's against the rules but", or even "here's my card, if you have any questions, or just want to chat, give me a call."

You're a cop, girls are supposed to be all over you, and you're supposed to be all over how to do this kind of thing aren't you?

ur dumb

Contacting her via FB, a means she has complete control over accepting, is not an abuse of power or unethical. As long as does not stalk her if she does not respond, it ends there.

No,no,no dont use facebook or myspace. Trust your first instinct on that.

Instead, you have the grandmother's phone number right? Just call her up and ask if her granddaughter is seeing anyone (not that you care, just so you dont look like a pig), and if not, then just get the number off the grandmother.

On a side note, typically, if you have two shots and you wiff both times, then youre already dead to rights, but since you were "on the job," she shouldnt care. Infact, she may even think its cute that youre so professional that you waited till later. Anyway, good luck.

Or you could ask the winggirls on youtube, theyre hilarious, and usually give good advice.

also, nothing shady at all about shooting off a FB message. just dont come across as a creep and u will be fine.

BINGO, I'm in a profession where this is an obvious no-no. I'd imagine though that police officer is pretty similar. What is policy regarding this? I'd eprsonally think your cop friends would give way better advice than anyone here on this forum (just because I'm sure this situation happens often enough)

If you want to impress a girl send her a real card. In the real mail. You know the kind you open and read in the real world. Think about it.

yeah, don't do this.

Get out of here with your 20th century silliness. Op's only choice is to obviously quit the force and that way he can hit on any and all chicks he meets at any time.


Op, what's the official department stance on this though? There has to be some written up rules about this kind of thing, after you find that out follow them to the T as the old saying goes.