at least 95% imo

^- NORMAL GUY POSTING THANKYOU.

tho fwiw i dont know what 'left to right' means

He wipes w/ his left hand, and then his right. I do it that way too. I'm excited about taking my next dump. I'm going to try wiping while standing.
WTF is wrong w/ some of you? Wipe while standing? Your a-hole is spread out better while sitting so you can do a better cleaning job.

wait... you're the guy who doesn't wash his hands, right? and you wipe with both hands?

that's a right hand, so good idea, poor execution.


i'm left-handed, so i wipe with my left hand [with paper ldo] in a diagonal front-back, left-right movement; not across the cheeks, guys, i ain't that messy.

I am NOT going to mspaint to explain.

i dunno.. i stand completely at first too, just to survey the situation. but when wiping commences, i do a forward lean, as if i'm stretching out my hamstrings. my feet are wider apart than when i'm standing erect, which serves to spread my ass cheeks. it is possible i guess to stand totally erect while wiping but that probably involves some kind of manual ass cheek spread.

WTF Seriously, wow. Wow.

Okay, I sit to wipe. How the **** can you possibly go between the legs to wipe? I can't even fathom that. I'm right handed, so I shift my weight almost completely to the left buttock/thigh and lean forward slightly. Then reach around behind and wipe. I had no idea this was anything but standard. Basically, the same way the standers do it, I just remain sitting cause I'm lazy.

well i'm on the can right now (mmm laptop) and it almost seems like sitting is more of a workout than standing. all this shift weight and keep it shifted while doing your biz.. it's like exercise almost. i don't get the lazy argument.

The worse is when you "think" you wiped yourself clean, only to find out otherwise little while later.

Learning that you "lookers" stand explains a lot, I thought you were reaching down, wiping, pulling the paper back up, etc. If you're standing you might as well look, it's right there.

I think we call all agree that men going between the legs have some issues. Also, wiping must be done front-to-back, it bewilders me that anyone does it differently, or can. FWIW those of you who someday have daughters, you need to wipe them front to back when you change their diapers so you don't get anything bad into their little wee-wee.

One of my most endearing qualities is my ability to learn new things and accept change, so maybe I'll give standing and looking a shot. Now I'm going to think about OOT every time I go #2.

LMFAO this whole thread is hilarious but that is outstanding.

I don't see how anyone can just go with a preset number of wipes. That's nuts. Different situations call for a different amount. I haven't seen this in years, but just found it http://qurlyjoe.bu.edu/cducibs/amusing.html(maybe nsfw, just text though) and it still has some lols.

Looking at who started this thread and the topic, I was shocked that it was 3 pages long. Then I read LFS's post. Sheesh.

Sitting, back to front, always look. Sometimes standing if it's just a total nightmare and I feel I need a better angle of attack. I can't imagine front to back, I don't feel like I'd have the right amount of leverge or something.

One of the best things about not being a giant fatass anymore is that 1- it's a lot easier to wipe your ass 2- a healthy diet means much cleaner poops.

n00b

Also, pretty surprised that this hasn't devolved into the ass-gasket discussion.

Standing, front-to-back, look, wash hands

not washing hands, with soap, is probably the second most disgusting thing you could do out of the 4, after not looking

Holy crap did I not need that image to start my day.

QFT

And what's with the back to front?? Don't you ever plan for the unexpected BJ???

sitter, looker, in between the leggers. i've also had very little troubles with my hand touching the water, and my ass is big, so you guys having problems this way, there's something wrong with you.

basically in between the legs, i move and block my sack with one hand, and get in theere good with my other hand, if i have a good grip on my paper, i can even do a back to front scrubbing motion, although this usually leads to more klingons, thanks to my hairy ass (this ass shaving thing intrigues me, btw)

also, i fold, so i get about 3 wipes per bunch.

actually if i have a daughter, i'm goign to teach her to keep her cootch as stank as possible, so no boys will want to get in there.

standing seems ******ed, like you'd have to put too much energy into the balance.

you didn't before?

This pretty much explains everything about you. Sicko.

Anyway, I can understand sitting OR standing (I stand), but for those who don't fold their TP, wtf is wrong with you? WADDING YOUR TOILET PAPER? That's sick ldo.

And the non-lookers have ****ty drawers.

Does this include times where you try to take a poo, but you only have to piss instead?

The only time I ever consider sitting while peeing is when I'm wasted. Even then, I still don't do it and concentrate realllllllly hard.

The next time I have to take a **** i'm gonna be overanalyzing everything because of this thread.

Once a week.

Shave your crack - never go back!

yeah where I used to work there were alot of Indian dudes or otherwise middle-easterners(?). A great deal of them would go into the bathroom with a Styrofoam cup, run a little water into it, then go into a stall. Sometimes I'd go in a stall and there'd be 3 or 4 of those ****ing cups all lined up on top of the TP dispenser, all with a quarter-inch of water in the bottom.

But I gotta know now,
1) How many squares of TP do you use?
2) Do you bunch it up or fold it over? If you fold it, do you fold it at the perforation or somewhere else?