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Old 01-25-2008, 09:07 AM   #176
Bulletproof Monk
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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If you asked me to ballpark a number of men from 1st-world countries that wiped sitting down before reading this thread, I would have guessed <1%.
at least 95% imo
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Old 01-25-2008, 09:14 AM   #177
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by Peter Harris View Post
- i sit, lean by raising left leg and go front-back, left-right typically

- i fold, rather than bunch [hell yeah let's revive that old chestnut] so i get 2-3 wipes out of each few sheets of loo roll

- i had the sh*ts last week just before an interview. didn't get the job. lol.
^- NORMAL GUY POSTING THANKYOU.
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Old 01-25-2008, 09:14 AM   #178
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

tho fwiw i dont know what 'left to right' means
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Old 01-25-2008, 09:51 AM   #179
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by Bulletproof Monk View Post
tho fwiw i dont know what 'left to right' means
He wipes w/ his left hand, and then his right. I do it that way too. I'm excited about taking my next dump. I'm going to try wiping while standing.
WTF is wrong w/ some of you? Wipe while standing? Your a-hole is spread out better while sitting so you can do a better cleaning job.
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Old 01-25-2008, 10:06 AM   #180
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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He wipes w/ his left hand, and then his right. I do it that way too.
wait... you're the guy who doesn't wash his hands, right? and you wipe with both hands?
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Old 01-25-2008, 10:12 AM   #181
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon View Post


I'm dead serious.
that's a right hand, so good idea, poor execution.


i'm left-handed, so i wipe with my left hand [with paper ldo] in a diagonal front-back, left-right movement; not across the cheeks, guys, i ain't that messy.

I am NOT going to mspaint to explain.
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Old 01-25-2008, 10:34 AM   #182
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by Bulletproof Monk View Post
i havent read up the whole thread yet, but this is where im up to now, and its not the kind of standing im talking about. after seeing the site that was linked earlier, it appears many ppl actually stand up, take a good look, then wipe. to me thats.... not normal =P
i dunno.. i stand completely at first too, just to survey the situation. but when wiping commences, i do a forward lean, as if i'm stretching out my hamstrings. my feet are wider apart than when i'm standing erect, which serves to spread my ass cheeks. it is possible i guess to stand totally erect while wiping but that probably involves some kind of manual ass cheek spread.
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Old 01-25-2008, 10:36 AM   #183
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon View Post


I'm dead serious.
WTF Seriously, wow. Wow.

Okay, I sit to wipe. How the **** can you possibly go between the legs to wipe? I can't even fathom that. I'm right handed, so I shift my weight almost completely to the left buttock/thigh and lean forward slightly. Then reach around behind and wipe. I had no idea this was anything but standard. Basically, the same way the standers do it, I just remain sitting cause I'm lazy.
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Old 01-25-2008, 10:40 AM   #184
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

well i'm on the can right now (mmm laptop) and it almost seems like sitting is more of a workout than standing. all this shift weight and keep it shifted while doing your biz.. it's like exercise almost. i don't get the lazy argument.
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Old 01-25-2008, 10:42 AM   #185
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

The worse is when you "think" you wiped yourself clean, only to find out otherwise little while later.
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:03 AM   #186
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

Learning that you "lookers" stand explains a lot, I thought you were reaching down, wiping, pulling the paper back up, etc. If you're standing you might as well look, it's right there.

I think we call all agree that men going between the legs have some issues. Also, wiping must be done front-to-back, it bewilders me that anyone does it differently, or can. FWIW those of you who someday have daughters, you need to wipe them front to back when you change their diapers so you don't get anything bad into their little wee-wee.

One of my most endearing qualities is my ability to learn new things and accept change, so maybe I'll give standing and looking a shot. Now I'm going to think about OOT every time I go #2.
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:16 AM   #187
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by suzzer99 View Post
Adam Corrolla says wiping his ass is "like getting peanut butter out of shag carpeting".
LMFAO this whole thread is hilarious but that is outstanding.
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:23 AM   #188
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

I don't see how anyone can just go with a preset number of wipes. That's nuts. Different situations call for a different amount. I haven't seen this in years, but just found it http://qurlyjoe.bu.edu/cducibs/amusing.html(maybe nsfw, just text though) and it still has some lols.
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:26 AM   #189
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

Looking at who started this thread and the topic, I was shocked that it was 3 pages long. Then I read LFS's post. Sheesh.

Sitting, back to front, always look. Sometimes standing if it's just a total nightmare and I feel I need a better angle of attack. I can't imagine front to back, I don't feel like I'd have the right amount of leverge or something.

One of the best things about not being a giant fatass anymore is that 1- it's a lot easier to wipe your ass 2- a healthy diet means much cleaner poops.
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:31 AM   #190
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by Dids View Post
Looking at who started this thread and the topic, I was shocked that it was 3 pages long.
n00b

Also, pretty surprised that this hasn't devolved into the ass-gasket discussion.
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:34 AM   #191
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

Standing, front-to-back, look, wash hands

not washing hands, with soap, is probably the second most disgusting thing you could do out of the 4, after not looking
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:45 AM   #192
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by Dids View Post
Sitting, back to front, always look. Sometimes standing if it's just a total nightmare and I feel I need a better angle of attack.
Holy crap did I not need that image to start my day.
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:49 AM   #193
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by suzzer99 View Post
Holy crap did I not need that image to start my day.
QFT

And what's with the back to front?? Don't you ever plan for the unexpected BJ???
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:53 AM   #194
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Learning that you "lookers" stand explains a lot, I thought you were reaching down, wiping, pulling the paper back up, etc. If you're standing you might as well look, it's right there.
sitter, looker, in between the leggers. i've also had very little troubles with my hand touching the water, and my ass is big, so you guys having problems this way, there's something wrong with you.

basically in between the legs, i move and block my sack with one hand, and get in theere good with my other hand, if i have a good grip on my paper, i can even do a back to front scrubbing motion, although this usually leads to more klingons, thanks to my hairy ass (this ass shaving thing intrigues me, btw)

also, i fold, so i get about 3 wipes per bunch.

Quote:
FWIW those of you who someday have daughters, you need to wipe them front to back when you change their diapers so you don't get anything bad into their little wee-wee.
actually if i have a daughter, i'm goign to teach her to keep her cootch as stank as possible, so no boys will want to get in there.

Quote:
One of my most endearing qualities is my ability to learn new things and accept change, so maybe I'll give standing and looking a shot.
standing seems retarded, like you'd have to put too much energy into the balance.

Quote:
Now I'm going to think about OOT every time I go #2.
you didn't before?
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Old 01-25-2008, 11:58 AM   #195
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by Dids View Post
\
back to front
This pretty much explains everything about you. Sicko.

Anyway, I can understand sitting OR standing (I stand), but for those who don't fold their TP, wtf is wrong with you? WADDING YOUR TOILET PAPER? That's sick ldo.

And the non-lookers have ****ty drawers.
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Old 01-25-2008, 12:02 PM   #196
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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Originally Posted by daryn View Post
i was shocked to learn there are tons of guys who sit to pee too!
Does this include times where you try to take a poo, but you only have to piss instead?
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Old 01-25-2008, 12:03 PM   #197
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

The only time I ever consider sitting while peeing is when I'm wasted. Even then, I still don't do it and concentrate realllllllly hard.
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Old 01-25-2008, 12:05 PM   #198
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

The next time I have to take a **** i'm gonna be overanalyzing everything because of this thread.
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Old 01-25-2008, 12:10 PM   #199
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?



Once a week.

Shave your crack - never go back!
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Old 01-25-2008, 12:41 PM   #200
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Re: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

yeah where I used to work there were alot of Indian dudes or otherwise middle-easterners(?). A great deal of them would go into the bathroom with a Styrofoam cup, run a little water into it, then go into a stall. Sometimes I'd go in a stall and there'd be 3 or 4 of those ****ing cups all lined up on top of the TP dispenser, all with a quarter-inch of water in the bottom.

But I gotta know now,
1) How many squares of TP do you use?
2) Do you bunch it up or fold it over? If you fold it, do you fold it at the perforation or somewhere else?
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