He is clearly serious, you can even see he has a herniated disc in the photo just under his left bicep.

Enjoy living like this in a few years:

lol you guys are hilarious.

If you think my method is worse for your back than sitting down and leaning all over the place to get access to your crack then you are morons.

Its basically a modified squat position. Which is the safest and most natural position when bending down and allows your spine to remain straight rather than bent over. Its the exact ****ing opposite of bad for your back. Its a much healthier position for your back.

I don't think you know what you're talking about, tbh.

Non-handwashers>>>>> non-paper towel door openers.

Why wash your hands when you are just going to get the same fecal matter on your hands by opening the same door the last non-handwasher opened?

At least non-handwashers have the distinct advantage of knowing whose crap is on their hands.

Edited to note that this thread made me crack up about 20 different times.

No YOU don't have a clue what you're talking about tbh. Straight or neutral back means straight not rounded, not perpindicular to the floor are you ****ing kidding me? Do you know what a squat is? It would be physically impossible to squat properly with your back perpindicular to the floor.



Here is a guy showing correct deadlift (albeit off a box) form. Oh noes his lumbar is gonna get messed up. Actually no, his lumbar section will be stronger, healthier than ever before.

Just on the subject of crouching (rather than sitting):

You get a much fuller evacuation this way. I just this minute tried it.

I found my self a touch constipated and I was struggling. So I lifted the seat, got my feet on the rim and crouched.

My troubles were over.

Something to do with gravity apparantly

BRAG: One wipe.

I thought its common sense that when you go from sitting on the seat to squatting/standing your checks naturally go from slighty spread to closed (try it sometime), so i have no idea why the **** you would raise from the seat to wipe. Unless you are morbidly obese/on steroids and you cant reach back there. I really dont see any room for discussion.

wowowowowow I never knew that OOT was this awesome. Thank you. And WTF with some of these posts/arguments.

I'm with El D fyi.

hjahahahaha awsome

I knew a guy who would put his feet up on the toilet seat and squat in that position to go to the bathroom. He said it was the best way to get all the **** out because it contracts your colon or some nonsense.

lol Hamish, he is a wiping noob obviously. Needs to go to the El Diablo school of Wiping for a few lessons.

bump

El D is 99% correct here. The only part I don't get is the slight back and forth move in the middle. I can't understand how that could be better than a smooth one directional motion. Back and forth seems like it could cause smearing and make things more difficult.

I've been shaving my ass (along with my crotch and chest) for a few years, and it helps a LOT. While Adam Carolla is struggling trying to get PB out of shag carpet, I'm wiping butter off a marble countertop. This, combined with my superior leaning forward while sitting position, eliminates the need to look. What position do gay guys get in when they're receiving anal? They sure as hell don't stand, that closes things up. It's the same for wiping. The optimal wiping position is one in which the ass is spread out for easiest access. If you're trying to stuff the TP into a ballot box, you're going to have problems.

The only weird aspect of my routine is that I have to be wearing a shirt. If I'm sitting around the house shirtless and feel a log, I have to put on a shirt first. I can't really explain it, it just seems gross with no shirt.

I wonder how things like this happen. Like, why do you think its gross, I mean. Psychology, ftw.

wow I just read this thread and WOW, lol... good stuff

I seriously need clarification as I've made it through about 300 posts in the thread and still can't find my answer...

For those of you who advocate wiping "both ways"...does that mean front to back AND back to front, or is it wiping with your left and right hands?

It's imperative that I maximize my wiping skills at the earliest date possible as things just haven't been going well lately. This thread has been a gold mine for me.

Side note - sometimes my back cracks from pushing so hard when constipated. I'm not going to even ask if that's standard.

Dietary fibers are the indigestible portion of plant foods that move food through the digestive system, absorbing water and easing defecation.

im sure blind people just do about 8 pieces and assume it's good enough. I dont see any other way of them being able to tell besides using their bare hands and feeling around their a-hole which i dont htink they do...

TGFTT

They probably develop uncanny feeling sensitivity and can sense when the feces was gone, telepathically. Everything else equal, that's probably what happened.

feces and telepathically in the same sentence. never thought 2p2 would go this far lol

Haha, I believe this very well might be true, actually. I read about some study that found that in countries where squatting toilets are the standard, absolutely noone has hemorroids, ever. Then again, it might be simply due to the fact that in countries where squatting toilets are the standard, nearly everyone tend to need to do heaps of hard physical labour just to survive rather than sit on their ass most of the day.

maybe they have a designated wiper friend

LOL WTF