Were you sitting or standing? I wonder if there are any standing, between the legs, back to front wipers. Now that would be something.

Sitting

I truly thought, and still kind of think I guess, it can increase chances of sickness.
If I'm wrong about that then sobeit. I'm not necessarily 'trying to justify' the precautions though. That's what I was actually believing and it's not like I invented it out of nowhere because there are other people that believe that too.

If studies suggest otherwise then I guess my precautions were partly in vain because I really wasn't helping my health at all.

To me though it doesn't seem that far removed from shaking hands with a guy who had just wiped and didn't wash much less shaking hands with a sick person who had just sneezed into his hand or something....or eating finger-food at a poker-table with some guy who is scratchig his ass and handling the chips and cards that I may be handling also at some point.

I'm not exactly the most paranoid OCD super-clean guy out there. But I am careful of my hands when I play live-poker such as trying not to scratch my eye or something. And I'm kind of careful some of the time when it comes to the mens room door or whatever.

Again, if studies prove that there is no significant increase in the chances of getting sick from making 2nd or 3rd hand contact with such germs then that's fine. I assumed there was and I'm not the only person who has ever thought that.

I think there is a big misunderstanding here in terms of what the normal wipers are envisioning the between the leggers to be doing. I don't think they are doing any real "wiping" at all. Its probably closer to plucking than anything else.

IMO, and I guess I can't speak for them but this is what I will sometimes do if I feel there are excessive dingleberries and or too much crap left behind and I'll smear it badly with a traditional wipe: you just get a small amount of TP spread between and balanced by your thumb on one end and your middle/ring finger at the other end. Then you gently and carefully reach straight down towards your ass, if you're not ******ed and have any motor skills whatsoever there is no way your hand will touch the bowl, the water, or anything else, and moving your balls out of the way is self explanatory and not a problem. Once you get one end of the TP (which should be folded over and flat, not balled up) right in your grundel and held in place by your thumb and the other end kind of halfway up your ass crack held in place by your middle and or ring finger you just kind of gently pinch inwards and coax out the excess turd matter as opposed to mashing it further into and all over your ass if you'd wiped normally.

At no time is your hand or paper moving from your ass towards your balls. Rather your thumb is moving the TP towards your assh*le from your grundle. When your thumb and middle finger meet, right at your ass where all the sh*t is, you pull all that crap out and drop it in the water. Its pretty much the same technique as you would use to remove a spider or insect from your ceiling with a tissue. Kind of cover, pinch/grab with the paper, and discard.

After doing this, and this really only needs to be done on your messiest dumps, you can then stand up, or remain sitting and do the lean, and make standard front to back wipes satisfied in the knowledge that you wont be smearing large 3 dimensional chunks of feeces all over the back of your ass.

Yes they do. But they use a pint glass and do it in pairs. I've seen it.

Sorry, missed that. Became distracted by the possibility of a standing, between the legs, back to fronter.....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

lol A+ animation

LOLOL this thread just keep getting better.

also, there has to be at least one person in the forum who does it that way.

I thought of this thread tonight. I stopped some place to go. I washed my hands and then felt trapped because there was only an air drier for my hands. As I am drying my hands I notice one of these sheets for workers to sign off that they cleaned the bathroom. It was last dated in 1996.

Hamish,

Put tits on that, get rid of the top hat and the toilet, and I'm a happy man.

Just when you thought it couldn't get weirder.

After close to 500 post in this thread, I think we finally have a winner. That was funny as *****.

Not to randomly bump this thread, but:

Driving from Philly to NY today, I suddenly got the urge to drop one...I held out until the last service exit. Let me explain...In all my life, I've only pooped in a public bathroom twice. I have an insane fear about it - I don't know why. As it was a public bathroom, I also wiped sitting down. It was insanity. Hardest day of my life, easily.

wow id never read this thread


i had no idea that people stood to wipe their ass. thats so weird. also there are a lot of other weird dudes. the people that dont look, the germaphobes, the dude above who just said he got a semi from wiping.

chalk another one up for sitting, leaning on one cheek, looking.



that image a few posts up made me absolutely lose it for a while. nice work.

I declare this thread EPIC, lol never laughed so hard at some comments here, and that animated picture is just too much

Seriously, I can't understand why any one would do anything but sit and lean.

So true Arito, this thread is full of weird dudes lol.

edit: I lauged extremely hard when this was posted

Originally Posted by suzzer99
Adam Corrolla says wiping his ass is "like getting peanut butter out of shag carpeting".


Originally Posted by mused01
I'm as baffled as you, mused. Left to right?!? How is that possible? Do you spray so much that there is brown all over your cheeks or is your ass crack horizontal?

LOL at a new term being coined... "THE EL D METHOD"

I also want to add that all people who are afraid of touching the door handle in public toilets are weird. Just wash your hands afterwards? Or do you non-European countries don't have sinks in a public toilet?

For some reason this is an extremely funny post.

Well you obv don`t have a hammer like some of us.

Pinching method ftw.... i use it... at least for my first wipe. Cuts down on additional necessary wipes.

Generally speaking our toilets aren't big enough to put sinks inside of them. And even if they were, who'd want to reach in there and wash your hands where you just pooped?

As a self-admitted former stander myself I believe that the sitting method is far superior.

but hey whatever floats your boat