this thread can be summed up in this:

* its normal to both stand up or sit down to wipe.

* you are a ****ing weirdo if you wipe between the legs

* you are an even worse weirdo if you take a piss standing then proceed to sit when you take a ****

* people who say they dont have to look at their TP is lying or walking around with ****infested asses, there is just no other way.

* blind people probably have worse ass-hygiene then people with sight

I think what people were saying is that anytime somebody took a piss they sat down? Which is beyond ridiculous.

If you gotta both piss and ****, you sit down, and accomplish them back to back as quickly as possible.

All,

Just took a dump. Wanted to clarify that "front to back" for me includes some back and forth action in the middle.

normally when i take a dump i take my laptop into the bathroom with me. then i spend so much time sat on the bowl browsing 2+2 i inevitably get the infamous 'dead legs'. i'd like to hear strategies for dealing with this.

it seems by the time i have washed my hands the brunt of the pain has begun to set in, so i am unable to return to the sanctuary of my bed to ride out the pain in comfort. usually i just stand up and rest most of my weight on the sink via my arms while the legs slowly work their way back to normal. occasionally i will set in myself the tough challenge of doing this without uttering a single howl of pain.

i guess i could quickly hurry to my bedroom without washing my hands but that is totally gross. i have tried lying on the floor but have found so far that the best method is to get the weight on your feet as soon as possible and grin and bear it.

thoughts?

el d,
standard.

yeti,
i go for the 2-minute or less crap and then go back to the laptop in another room. the perils you describe are much worse than 2 minutes without 2+2.


Hmm, maybe i should post that in the addicted thread too.

I think if I were blind, I'd tend to overwipe rather than under. Wouldn't want the chance of any undetected Klingons to ruin my undies, y'know.

So my guess is that there are a lot of blind people out there with raw anuses.


All of this raises a question, though. Do all blind guys have to sit to pee, or is their sense of smell so heightened by being blind that they can sense the location of the commode and nail it with the stream?

Also, if they're out in the woods or a park or something and decide to pee on a tree, how do they know the coast is clear? I wonder how many have been busted for indecent exposure for this.

this is really fun being 6'7", I try to really hurry washing then run to the bed or something, I've been "stuck" standing with it a couple of times and it is really bad how fked up it feels, its hard to explain to people who havent had it.

wow, i'm cooler than i thought.

i wipe my ass exactly like ELD.

****ing awesome.

I used to go only front to back, but have mixed in a couple back to front swipes if it is the neverending wipe. Seems to help mitigate the fecal matter leftover.

How embarassing would it be to die of pulmonary embolism secondary to deep-vein thrombosis - laptop on your knees.

I am the same as El D, except I am right handed and wipe with my left hand. FWIW I do some other small stuff like that with my left hand, but nothing jumps out right now.

Pudge,

Does it sometimes feel like someone else is wiping your ass for you?
Like "the stranger?"

asy

For all you OCD ******s who use a towel to open the door on your way out... how do you get into the bathroom? The handle on the outside is going to be much more dirty than the one on the inside since 80-90% of people are washing their hands first.

lol, if you cant spot the flaw in your logic, I dont think you should be calling anyone a ******, ******.

No flaw. People who are leaving the bathroom without washing clearly have dirtier hands, but those hands also clearly are not 5x dirtier, which they would have to be compared to those who do wash. Handling money puts a lot more germs on a person's hands than going to the bathroom. The outside handle is clearly going to have more germs on it than the inside one.

I sometimes use WAY too much paper and thought i had problems, until now.

FWIW im a looking standing front to backer and whoever isnt is **** weird.

hahaha i lold my ass off... some entries were really weird.

um, i believe alobar is pointing out that you wash your hands before leaving, so any germs temporarily on your skin on entry to the bathroom will be removed.

Unless you lick your hands whilst sitting on the stall?

If you need to pull the handle to get out, then you can push the door open with your foot or whatever.

damn, i'm a ******.

AlexM,

I believe another flaw in your logic is that the correct etiquette when washing your hands during bathroom trips has changed since the popularity of automatic sensors have come in to play.

It seems most logical these days to wash your hands as soon as you enter the bathroom because your hands have probably touched multiple germ infested surfaces since the last time you washed them.

Then proceed to do your duty with clean hands. Why would you want all those germs and bacteria you encountered throughout the day touching your dick while washing your hands afterward? I don't know about you but I know where my dick's been and that's in my pants. Clean. Away from the dirty world. I'd rather wash the dirty off my hands before I touch my Little Michael.

Then, if you splashed a little bit, or had to touch a handle after tucking yourself back in, you should wash your hands again. If you were able to complete your process without touching anything congratulations, your hands are still cleaner than they were before you went into the bathroom.

Double victory.

There are germs and then there are germs. Every day, run of the mill bacteria are everywhere and good for you. They colonize your skin and coat most everywhere and are useful in keeping the really harmful stuff in check. Only crazy, OCD people care about these. Then there are the bacteria that cause problems (e.g. e.coli and salmonella). It's not crazy to cut your veggies with a different knife than the one you just used on your uncooked chicken. Also not crazy to try to avoid handling someone else's poop.

standing is the way to go. also sometimes naked is good also

I sit, look and wipe through the front in a back to front(plus back and forth) style.
It requires no leaning of any kind for me. It's the shortest path to the area and gets the job done. Visual inspection is pretty easy this way too.

By feel.