haha did you make that Hamish? I like how you think there's some sort of leg-lift going on for the sitters.

For the purposes of this thread you should be known as Hamish McButtwipe


(sorry)

Can't believe people put all this effort into going to the toilet, standing up... WTF?? I guess going to the toilet is like the one thing you never see others do so it is pretty much 100% your own style.

I sit back, about 3 pieces of toilet roll folded, hand between legs, back to front then have a little look at the roll between my legs each time, then drop into water. Do this 5 to 15 times dependings on dirt, then a wet wipe at the end to clean up if needed. From when i sit down to when i leave the toilet, my asscheecks never leave the seat!

Man, I still can't for the life of me fathom the whole between the legs thing. My god.

People who sit down when wiping while vehemently arguing against sitting down when peeing have always puzzled me.

I made it but didn't know whether adding a little stickman **** and balls would pass so I left it off. I had to shrink the second guy coz I saw that if the first guy stood up he would be decapitated.

Also, there is no discernable head-turn...

I'm a half-stander, front to back, reach around man myself. My theory is that those who remain sitting throughout are simply fat and lazy.

Not looking and not washing hands is just dirty.

It's actually rather simple.

Wiping while sitting: You're already in the perfect position for maximum efficiency.

Urinating while standing: You're already in the perfect position for maximum efficiency.

I'm a 6'3", white American 19 year old male. I carefully fold the paper while sitting, then shift my weight to my left side and reach behind with my right hand and go front to back. I'm a stickler for a clean *******, because I use a ****load of paper. Everything other than this in this thread is completely nonstandard, some worse than other. Standing up with still crouching is acceptable, standing up fully erect and then wiping is weird because it doesn't really make sense (admiring your ****, AMRITE?) going between the legs in the front is just ****ing creepy, going back to front is plain disgusting, and not washing your hands should get you shipped off to the Amazon, you ****ing freak.

i sit and i'm 6'5" must be an outlier

wtf?

Since we are on the topic of sharing our styles of taking a dump, does anyone else besides me get completely naked to ****. I even do this at friends houses. The only places I don't get naked are in public restrooms.

I'm going to try sitting down next time. Very apprehensive. I will never try back to front though. I don't want **** on my balls thank you.

Fly: "Using paper towels to open the door is just barely less weird than the other **** in this thread" WTF ARE YOU ****ING SERIOUS THAT IS SUPER ****ING STANDARD IN ANY PUBLIC/SEMI-PUBLIC BATHROOM SITUATION AND IT IS ****ING GROSS AS HELL TO TOUCH BATHROOM DOOR HANDLES WITH YOUR HAND (OBVIOUSLY IT IS PREFERABLE TO JUST NEVER TOUCH ANY DOOR HANDLES PERIOD).

NMN: "Standing up with still crouching is acceptable, standing up fully erect and then wiping is weird" Glad to see there are a few sane people contributing here. Yes, this is true, if people "stand" by remaining in the crouching position, but just slightly elevating their hips and ass from the toilet, that is perfectly fine, and that's something I do from time to time myself.

lolol this seems really weird, but before this thread i thought standing and wiping was really rare so i could be wrong again.

i think u said u have a loose toilet, be careful as seat breakage is possible

Whatever you do, don't try to go for the off-hand, lest ye spend the rest of your life covered in feces.

ok im adding to this set of very correct rules

Standing up to wipe, WTF.

Reaching down between your legs to wipe, WTF.

Wiping back to front, WTF.

Not washing your hands after, WTF.

Using paper towels to open doors, WTF.

pretty sure outside of 2+2 99% of ppl agree with the above

If haven't posted by 10am PT tomorrow, please send an ambulance to my house. Microbet and aladare know where I live.

BPM,

Anyone who think using paper towels to open public restroom doors is WTF is a ****ing gross, disgusting, unsanitary moron. I mean, even restroom professionals understand this and now often place trashcans accordingly!

All I can think is that the people who say that you will get crap on your sack if you reach between your legs or wipe back to front must have the same coordination of a ******ed baboon. Just because you can't even wipe your own butt without making a mess doesn't mean everyone else can't.

Bullet: paper towel + door in a public restroom is pretty darn close to standard nowadays.

Masked Man: Motion-sensor automatic doors FTW, although they always seemed to break down at the last job I had that had them in the restrooms, leaving you back at square 1.

What kind of degree do you need to be a restroom professional? Or is it one of those "details oriented with a go-getter mentality" kind of professions?