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01-25-2008 , 04:31 PM

#251

sightless

banned

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 15,988

blinds people other senses are probably very heightened
:/

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01-25-2008 , 04:33 PM

#252

Lasu

enthusiast

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 62

Quote:

Originally Posted by sightless

blinds people other senses are probably very heightened
:/

taste?

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01-25-2008 , 04:36 PM

#253

pirateboy

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 3,070

Quote:

Originally Posted by nsdjoe

Just dumped out. I wipe while sitting down, I just lean forward a ways, and always reach behind and wipe front to back. Generally 4-5 times, 3 sheets of TP folded over each time.

Yayyyyy a normal person!

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01-25-2008 , 04:42 PM

#254

Burlap

banned

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 3,061

Man, this thread is greatness.

FWIW I wipe my ass like El Diablo.

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01-25-2008 , 04:43 PM

#255

oddjob

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 7,860

Quote:

Originally Posted by pirateboy

When cranes dig, they don't do back to front. Why? Because it doesn't ****ing work.

but if a crane were to wipe it's underside, it'd be going from back to front. think about it. yah.

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01-25-2008 , 04:44 PM

#256

Hoya

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 3,089

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Diablo

Hoya: "Wouldn't leaning pose the same risks?" No.

I just tried standing and leaning. Definitely felt more ******* movement with the latter.

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01-25-2008 , 04:45 PM

#257

oddjob

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 7,860

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Diablo

Hoya: "Wouldn't leaning pose the same risks?" No.

pb: "I bet at least once in your life you got post-urine drip on your arm area." Excellent point.

cause i can't just wash my arm aftewards while i'm washing my hands?

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01-25-2008 , 05:15 PM

#258

roy_miami

veteran

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,245

I tried the sitting thing today, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be although I could see a real greasy **** being a problem when I pull out the tp to inspect. Honestly, I think the biggest reason I stand is so i can inspect the damage before it gets covered with tp. Is it the most efficient/hygienic way to wipe? I doubt it, but I do like looking at my own ****.

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01-25-2008 , 05:18 PM

#259

FlyWf

It's the other way

Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 58,097

For the "throughers", uh, where do you put your gentalia? How do you manage to avoid dipping your penis/hand/TP in the water?

Also, when you're drunk and you do this, do you ever do a somersault off the toilet?

Daryn- In a public restroom do you pee at a urinal and then **** in a toilet?

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01-25-2008 , 05:47 PM

#260

AthenianStranger

grinder

Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 445

Quote:

Originally Posted by oddjob

sitter, looker, in between the leggers. i've also had very little troubles with my hand touching the water, and my ass is big, so you guys having problems this way, there's something wrong with you.

basically in between the legs, i move and block my sack with one hand, and get in theere good with my other hand, if i have a good grip on my paper, i can even do a back to front scrubbing motion, although this usually leads to more klingons, thanks to my hairy ass (this ass shaving thing intrigues me, btw)

Your way sounds horribly complicated and disgusting. I thought reason had been established in this thread until this came along.

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01-25-2008 , 05:56 PM

#261

daryn

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 26,913

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlyWf

Daryn- In a public restroom do you pee at a urinal and then **** in a toilet?

nah of course not. even at home i don't always pee first. i guess it depends on which i have to do worse.

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01-25-2008 , 06:00 PM

#262

iSTRONG

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 5,731

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon

I'm dead serious.

Actually, you're wrong.

P.S.: Sat down, reach around + look on last wipe is the only correct way.

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01-25-2008 , 06:04 PM

#263

oddjob

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 7,860

Quote:

Originally Posted by AthenianStranger

Your way sounds horribly complicated and disgusting. I thought reason had been established in this thread until this came along.

yah, it's super complicated and really messy, i actually get **** everywhere. that's why i do it. well done detective.

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01-25-2008 , 07:13 PM

#264

TwoNitty

journeyman

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 324

Not washing hands is the biggest wtf in this thread. Easily. You people are the reason I use the papertowels to open the door.

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01-25-2008 , 07:18 PM

#265

Quadstriker

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 15,332

Summary of 300ish posts:

OMG THE WAY YOU DO IT IS SOOOO DUMB@!1!1!1

As long as you get the job done, who gives a crap? (see what I did there?)

The only thing I can't fathom in this thread is the non-lookers and the non-hand washers, ldo. Other than that, some people need to relax.

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01-25-2008 , 07:49 PM

#266

FlyWf

It's the other way

Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 58,097

Using paper towels to open the door is just barely less weird than the other **** in this thread

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01-25-2008 , 07:53 PM

#267

Freakin

bacon wannabe

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 17,153

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlyWf

Using paper towels to open the door is just barely less weird than the other **** in this thread

absolutely not. A good 10% of people (at least) don't wash their hands at all. Do you really want to touch that?

Wash hands, dry off with paper towels, turn off water with paper towel, open door with paper towel, throw away paper towel in garbage can they always have RIGHT next to door for this very purpose.

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01-25-2008 , 07:53 PM

#268

Falc

Heads Up Champ, Nit Division

Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,493

Question for the standwipers: you sit (I assume) and take a dump aswell as peeing at the same time. When you stand up, how do you not get pee-drips slipping out and on your clothes/floor when standing? Right after peeing it's pretty hard to not have anything leaking after you've wiped it.

FWIW this thread is the first time I've ever heard of anyone standing up and wiping.

I'm a sit-wiper, reach around, back to front and a looker.

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01-25-2008 , 08:02 PM

#269

billygrippo

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,570

ok who here uses a bidet?

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01-25-2008 , 08:10 PM

#270

Hamish McBagpipe

veteran

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2,502

Like many, I have never even contemplated wiping my ass while sitting. I can't believe there are so many of you freaks. I do see the advantages of a gaping ******* vis a vis less smearage but I think that's why I'm wiping my ass in the first place.

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01-25-2008 , 08:10 PM

#271

Peter Harris

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,424

Quote:

Originally Posted by billygrippo

ok who here uses a bidet?

I used to think they were foot washers as a kid. never used them since.

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01-25-2008 , 08:14 PM

#272

RiverFenix

banned

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 8,829

This thread is insane. I dont see how what El D said isnt 100% standard for everyone. Have you people never even tried this method?

Part of the lyrics in the song My vagina by NoFx for some sweet insight into women.

But now I gotta pee
Through a miniature hole
Gotta remember to put the seat down
And when I wipe my ass
I go from front to back
Cause I don't want a bladder infection

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01-25-2008 , 08:17 PM

#273

Burlap

banned

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 3,061

Something about standing there with my pants around my ankles while trying to maneuver my hand in and out of my clenched asscrack in hopes to achieve any significant level of fecal-removal seems very awkward and unappealing to me.

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01-25-2008 , 08:20 PM

#274

Hamish McBagpipe

veteran

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2,502

Upon review it looks like my second "correct" guy misses upon first wipe.

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01-25-2008 , 08:22 PM

#275

suzzer99

Save the Cheerleader, Save the World

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 99,984

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Diablo

All,

No surprise OOT is full of fatasses who can't ****ing wipe their ass like a normal person by leaning slightly forward and to the side while sitting and reaching around their body for a perfectly natural front to back wiping motion.

Standing up to wipe, WTF.

Reaching down between your legs to wipe, WTF.

Wiping back to front, WTF.

Not washing your hands after, WTF.

OK, now, on to the looking question. Those who say they can tell and don't need to look can definitely be telling the truth, though they also might be **** stained morons. Of course you can feel whether or not there is still **** getting onto the TP when you are wiping. Having said that, after the last wipe (which for me is generally a couple of extra just in case wipes after I am sure it's clean), I glance behind and take a look while dropping the last bunch of TP as I'm standing up, just in case. My instincts are always right and it's always clean. Also, people like LFS who use a multi-stage cleaning wiping process including wet and dry are much more likely to be correct without looking than people using dry only.

I was wondering where the **** you were in this thread. I see you're mega-catching up now.

Btw my toilet is loose, if I lean to the side we're all going over. Not that I would wipe that silly-ass way anyway. Real men stand so they can grab their butt cheek with the other hand for leverage.

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