Your first sentence/question shows why you should be contained. Complete and utter ignorance.

Now I usually don't respond to personal attacks outside the containment thread, but in your case I am willing to make an exception in the interest of education.

This is a poker-themed message board. A lot of poker deals with subterfuge and deception. Making your opponent think you have a weak-hand so you will get them to bet more and trap them. Definitely an art.

This thread is about different methods to get the ideal seat you want on a plane. Poker players have got to be the best people to pull that off because that is what they do. Trickery and deception, without cheating. Honorable poker players.

Like this poster: ***My current strategy that I employ when traveling with the wife is to take aisle and window about two thirds of the way between the front and the exit row, looking for perfectly aligned windows that maximize shoulder room. Then look as fat and as miserable as possible without breaking the social norms that you mentioned in the OP.***

Which everyone here gets the benefit of evaluating and deciding if they want to employ that in their Southwest Ideal Seat arsenal.

I rarely bring ESAs up into any threads. It is other posters that invariably bring up ESAs whenever I post. Whatever. Sometimes amusing.

People game ESAs and they use them to get whatever seat they want on a plane too because they are "disabled". So they get priority boarding.

You are not going to learn any of this from the official Southwest website. Or even airlinetalk.com. I would go straight to 2+2 to find the best strategies.

So, instead of criticizing posters who provide total out of the box hints, take some time to appreciate the forum you are a member.

Couldn't you just saw off one of your legs to be handicapped without having to deal with any animals? Or get a baby, that not only helps with getting priority boarding but also increases the chances of a female picking the spot next to you.

doing something because you have the best chance of survival in a plane crash is absolutely bonkers. Statistically you're going to waste many orders of magnitude more time standing around waiting to de-board than you're going to lose from premature airplane crash death (even assuming that a crash means 100% death in the front and 100% survival in the back which isn't the case, obviously).

The seats obviously aren't the same if people are willing to pay more to get to pick which one they want. They have the same physical dimensions but an aisle seat in the front is obviously better than a middle in the back.

This seems like cheating and not very honorable if it's not true:

Well, I do believe that dogs should be near the window to isolate them as much from passengers as possible. And a smaller person will be less likely to agitate them.

Now, this next part I am going to write makes me uncomfortable. I think my dog when I was younger was racist. It was perfectly calm until she came around an African-American. No, our family didn't train the dog or act like that. It was very embarrassing.

I don't know if you can go on the plane though and say your dog is racist and therefore can't sit near a certain ethnicity.

This statement is dumb.

I was answering a post referring to 'premium seats' which would mean first or business class. Which SW doesn't offer. The seats are all physically the same.

Clearly some locations are better than others, or there would be no point to offering, or paying extra for, front positions in the boarding sequence.

By extension, a smaller person will be less likely to agitate me. Let's see your blood pressure sitting next to a 400lb smelly blob vs. a 80lb petite female. And your animal feeds off your energy.

What is dumb is your lack of understanding the connection between humans and animals. Maybe you never had an animal growing up.

Sucks to be you.

Don't the exit seats offer more leg room since handicapped may go through them?

And the last row, the seats cannot recline?

Mods: any chance he can go back in his box? Nice thread gone wrong, yet again.

Mommy??? Daddy??? A poster is making me sad and I don't know how to handle it myself. I am screaming in front of everyone for you to help me.

Boohoo. Go home and get your blankie.

Hey, numbnuts,
<---------

Maybe we rename the thread to "GTO for Southwest self-seating without bringing animals, babies, handicapped people" and move on?

That is so adorable!

Now why don't you broil him and put some buns around him, add some ketchup and take a big chomp.

Might add an IQ point to your brain and finally get yourself to the 20th percentile.

Lollollol

One of OOT's favorite topics

You'd bring an animal on the plane *and* recline your seat.

OK then

Someone needs to learn how to read.

If your ESA is valid (letter from a legitimate doctor) and it is a dog, then it falls within social norms (barely).

Now, when it starts to get to other exotic animals, even if they are 100% legal with the doctor's note and everything, it is outside societal norms. At least in 2017. Perhaps in 5 years more time, it will be more normal to take whatever animal you feel like on a plane.



Edit: The title of this video tilts me. It isn't a service turkey. It is an emotional support turkey. Huge difference.

Kinda curious how you singled out just one.

I wonder how you will survive the plane ride stuck in the middle seat with this conundrum circling the cobwebs that you believe is your brain.

I hope the mods really do recognize how much you help threads and 2+2. You definitely deserve an award. Perhaps a coveted aisle seat.

Context.

Well that esalated quickly

That is the problem with modern air travel. Humans are getting bigger, yet the airlines are taking away individual space. Every flight is 100% sold out. You can’t even have frickin peanuts anymore because every kid is allergic.

Add to the mix two untrained dogs, one scared cat, and a potbellied pig, and the full recipe for madness is complete.

Oh sweet, another thread where we get to hear the guy cranking out service emus telling us how crazy it is to fly with emus.

More misperception.

I don’t crank out second emus.

I crank out letters for emotional support animal. I️t is up to the patient to determine the animal that provides the optimal support. And it can change day to day.

I just posted that ESAs allow you priority seating and cited the transportation law.

Instead of reading it and thinking, “neat” or “whatever” they instead decided to tard up a perfectly nice thread with personal attacks.