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Great posts from around 2+2

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02-15-2019 , 08:48 PM

#76

REDeYeS00

always sloppy

Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 22,748

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rococo

Were the meat power rankings a level?

6. Sea Bass

Quote

02-15-2019 , 09:36 PM

#77

jmakin

banned

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 30,120

bling blang blaow, that was my favorite one ever. old school BBV was a really special place.

Also loved "ELECTRICAL JESUS"

Quote

02-15-2019 , 10:25 PM

#78

Rococo

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 18,089

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zimmer4141

Euro Rounders is so brilliant.

"I was brutally sodomized on a regular basis" and "Pay that man his money. His silly silly-looking European Money" crack me up every damn time.

My favorite is

Quote:

Michel (voiceover): "I know before he even says it."

Teddy CIA: "I have 8-6-4-3 with two diamonds, for a wrap straight draw and a flush draw, which is a favorite over your top set."

Quote

02-15-2019 , 10:28 PM

#79

Louis Cyphre

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 11,025

The bolded makes this an all-time great post.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daliman

So last weekend I was moving into my new house and hired some guys to help move things. As we were heading over to the new house in one of the guy's car, he mentioned he had a job moving someone out of Seven Hills, (VERY Ritzy subdivision in Vegas) about two weeks ago where the guy said "Just get all of this stuff out of my house, take whatever you want" Apparently the guy's kids and relatives were filtering in to grab things, and much of it was already moved or picked over but the mover got a 70" TV for himself, as well as a few other things. The guy knew I played poker and said this guy was a poker player too, "Men Noogen or something", I asked if the guy was short, was called "the master" by anyone, and was kind of a haughty prick and he assented to each. Men didn't pay them anything, (which seems FAR more than fair to me), but was VERY clear EVERYTHING had to be taken out of the house. I have independently confirmed this story by thinking about it and realizing this story checks out. I will answer any questions regarding this, with little to know regard of knowing the actual facts.

I think now would be a good time to begin speculating wildly. I will start;

- Obv Men was leasing the house, furniture and all, and was in arrears in payments.

- Men's children were coming for the things he might leave them in his will were he able to remember their names. Therefore, Men is obv in poor health and should go to the head of the "poker death pool" line ahead of TJ Cloutier, but behind Andras Koroknai.

Quote

02-15-2019 , 10:34 PM

#80

LKJ

Smugly Contemptuous

Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 95,986

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qsoumha

#

QUESTION FROM OverThinking101: hi

ANSWER FROM Steve Zolotow: hi I am interested in any questions or problems players have that relate to probability, odds, statistics, and related concepts. Even though I may not be able to answer complex questions now, I have been doing some stuff for CardPlayer magazine on thi
#

QUESTION FROM PIE18: are you bald?

ANSWER FROM Steve Zolotow: yes

Quote

02-15-2019 , 11:12 PM

#81

jmill

Freak you Bobo Fett

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 19,841

Empire Man is one of the best 2p2 posters.

An oldie but a goodie from samjjones, in response to a thread started by Ray Zee titled "got bit by black widow spider"

Quote:

Originally Posted by samjjones

Spider-Zee, Spider-Zee.
Catches fish, and chops down trees.
Builds pogodas, any size.
Spider bites him, then it dies.
Look out!
Here comes the Spider-Zee.

Quote

02-16-2019 , 01:44 AM

#82

Hero Protagonist

adept

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 770

Who was it who asked whether .08 BAC was 8% of your blood? Was that Daliman? And then insisted that it was not a stupid question.

Quote

02-16-2019 , 01:56 AM

#83

grando1.0

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 17,111

Michel: "Right, okay, but seriously, I played for an hour, doing nothing but folding. Then I won a huge pot."

Joey Croissant: "Aces? Kings? Ace-King doublesuited? Suited aces? High connectors? Middle doublesuited connectors? Two big pair?"

Michel: "Rags."

Joey Croissant: "That's probably fine too, you're only like a 48/52 dog."

Spectacular

Quote

02-16-2019 , 08:38 AM

#84

All-inMcLovin

Wholesome Mod

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 49,538

Quote:

Originally Posted by grando1.0

The first time I read that dialogue was like the first time I heard the Beatles.

Quote

02-16-2019 , 11:55 PM

#85

Melkerson

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 11,064

All the H&F regs have experienced the brilliance of this one, but I'm guessing a lot of you have missed out:

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/s...88&postcount=1

Quote

02-17-2019 , 12:40 AM

#86

Tony_P

Crimson Challenge Conqueror

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 12,026

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hero Protagonist

Who was it who asked whether .08 BAC was 8% of your blood? Was that Daliman? And then insisted that it was not a stupid question.

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/3...71/#post505948

Quote

02-17-2019 , 12:46 AM

#87

the pleasure

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 6,093

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmakin

bling blang blaow, that was my favorite one ever. old school BBV was a really special place.

Also loved "ELECTRICAL JESUS"

thees type of threads you just go down memory lane from 06-2010

Quote

02-17-2019 , 01:10 AM

#88

Tuma

Worships Amon-Ra

Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 16,390

Blotkis is not concerned

Quote

02-17-2019 , 01:58 AM

#89

Tom Ames

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 45,765

Winifred

No context required.

Quote

02-17-2019 , 02:11 AM

#90

GTO2.0

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,780

Quote:

Originally Posted by REDeYeS88

Empire Man is the greatest poster in the history of 2+2 when considering efficiency and quality content
if someone else can prove me wrong i'm more than happy to read their post history.

Commodus wins for pure value per post, imo. Rate my girlfriend response prob the hardest I ever laughed here.

Volume is the only downside.

Quote

02-17-2019 , 02:34 AM

#91

Rexx14

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 7,215

Links people!

Quote

02-17-2019 , 05:23 AM

#92

Bighurt52235

I was born to eat hamburgers

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 24,218

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tony_P

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/3...71/#post505948

Jesus Christ. I read that whole thread thinking I had never heard of any of it, only to discover that I made the final two posts back in 2014.

Quote

02-17-2019 , 07:50 PM

#93

REDeYeS00

always sloppy

Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 22,748

Quote:

Originally Posted by GTO2.0

Commodus wins for pure value per post, imo. Rate my girlfriend response prob the hardest I ever laughed here.

Volume is the only downside.

ok i'll partially concede. Commodus by far had the most bang per post, but was limited to ~30 posts. i tried to dig up his post history but most of them have been banished to the archives and i don't know how to successfully search there. i think he also used imageshack and i fear many of the gif reactions have been lost to history.

Quote

02-21-2019 , 10:32 PM

#94

krunic

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 6,189

N1, the current MVP of H&F, confused about butt stuff: https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/s...postcount=6909

Quote

02-22-2019 , 03:03 PM

#95

TrollyWantACracker

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Apr 2015 Posts: 4,184

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrollyWantACracker

What if I think one of the great posts from around 2+2 is from this thread? Should I repost it here, or is that a little too much?

Hate to toot my own horn, but I feel like this post is one of the greats.

Quote

02-22-2019 , 04:56 PM

#96

offTopic

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 19,510

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rexx14

Links people!

Images lost to the passage of time. A guy started a "rate my GF" thread and posted pics that looked like, well, google image search "plus size black lingerie boudoir photo", I guess, and Commodus responded with:

Still makes me laugh today.

--

I found the thread, and remembered in the interests of preserving internet gold that Alobar inserted an approximation in the OP, but that was not the original photo.

Last edited by offTopic; 02-22-2019 at 05:00 PM. Reason: ****ing hell that was almost 15 years ago?!

Quote

02-22-2019 , 06:18 PM

#97

Schlitz mmmm

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 27,746

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuma

Blotkis is not concerned

lol

Quote

02-23-2019 , 06:59 PM

#98

Viggorous

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2015 Posts: 23,338

A couple of years ago a friend of mine was threatened by his psychotic Bandidos-affiliated neighbor. I asked 2+2 for advice and the creative solutions ranged from the obvious "move out" to the alternative "kill him/have him killed" to the wholesome "befriend him" and the less wholesome "rape him to show him who's boss". I reread the thread recently and it's pretty hilarious in hindsight.
*

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChaseNutley26

Next time neighbor goes ham on you OP take it one step further and go full sausage on his ass.* It's the prison way and he will respect you much more in the morning.

Quote:

Originally Posted by esad

Befriending him is the obvious play here. Buy him a case of beer or meth and get him on your side.

Then you're the one who's got the pyscho friend and hey nobody is messing with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suit

IDGAF. I'd take my chances.

Friend needs to dig a hole in the basement and let psycho in. Take him out and bury him and the gun. Fill with cement. What gun shot? I didn't hear anything?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kurn, son of Mogh

But hold on. It's common knowledge that "bringing a knife to a gun fight" is a losing proposition, right?

Thus, bringing a gun to a knife fight must, by definition, be solidly +EV.

Reply: there's no winners in the slums of detroit

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/3...27/?highlight=