We have banged a few times since she started cheating, but I did not find out until after. Since I have found out, no. I'm thinking a trip to the sex clinic is in order in the near future.

Don't do anything on facebook. It will make you look worse than your ex. You can be the strong, dignified man who walked away from a cheating slut or the bitter, angry loser. Appearing as the bitter angry, loser will make her feel better about cheating.

Good job not sexing. Stay away from the spiteful/harmful facebook/revenge stuff. Just honestly tell her what's up and move on.

I'd not tell the wife, but if you must - do it in a tasteful and discrete way. You don't know how she'll receive the news. Your job is to get in and get out and be very careful about how you do it. It's touchy ground.

What about the lease? You never said whose names are on the lease but assuming its not just her on the lease, you'll probably be hearing from her when she requests your share of the rent for the next 8 months. People earlier mentioned that you could "just find new tenants", but thats not necessarily an easy task, especially while shes still living there and able to do things like sabotage visits from potential tenants.

Maybe your financial situation is such that you can afford to be paying rent in two places until your lease is up, but I bet you'll start fuming every time you write that check. But you sound like the type of person who might just not pay and not respond to requests for the money. In that case, enjoy dragging the drama out for another year.

you should get tested asap for AIDS and STDs. the results may influence your plan of action.

We are both on the lease. But I have already talked to my landlord about this issue. He said that he would let me out if I could find a replacement. I live in a university town so there are always people looking for places, many of whom are just like me. Also, my apartment is in a decent location and fairly cheap. Finding replacements shouldn't be too hard.

It would but if I'm not mistaken these tests take time and I plan to be gone in less than 48hours.

Should get tested anyways, for obvious reasons.

The only problem I foresee is getting her to go along with it. She's on the lease and nobody can force her out of the apartment, and I think in most states you will be financially responsible for your half until you both agree to leave and you can find replacements (all 3 parties will need to agree to prematurely end the lease contract). If she realizes this, she has little motivation to leave, as shes living in an apt that should be big enough for two people for half price. Not to mention she'll probably get some joy in making you pay your share.

I'm not a lawyer and might not be reading into the situation correctly, but I seriously doubt anybody would want to relocate on zero notice if they had no incentive to do so. Good luck.

I definitely plan to, I'm just saying that I probably wouldn't get the results until after the deed is done.

My biggest surprise here is that Catch22 was still available as a gimmick account name.

Dont forget this gem..

Seriously, there is only one pro line here and it's breaking up with her without ever hinting you know anything about her cheating. She will **** herself up something fierce trying to figure out why.

no, they can tell you with a very high probablility within 15 minutes in regards to HIV and most of the other villians. Things like Herpes are more vague and depend on timing of outbreaks, etc.

As far as true revenge, haste does indeed make waste. I've been through this in life and have found a long slow burn has positive results. Let the betrayal fuel you. There is a lot of enjoyment in dealing out punishment from a place of power. Get your life together, succeed, and wreak your vengeance down the line. When your life is humming along beautifully, crush hers. Her friends already know she's a slut, they always do. I'd act mature now, get on with my life, and then crush her in the future. She'll be left to scratch her head wondering where and who it came from. Couldn't be you, you weren't mad when it happened, why would you be mad 18 months later? Same goes with the other party. You can really cross the foulest line then and they'll never be quite sure it was you.

I'm actually from Canada, so I'm not sure how the laws would differ. Also, from my experiences with landlords in this area and from what I've heard; most don't legally pursue students over broken leases. We generally don't have the money to pay them anything and its usually more work than its worth for them. That's not to say that I'm going to do this. I'd much rather try to be standup about this and leave on good terms with the landlord.

Me too actually... but it worked. so i went with it.

i agree with this. if you want to destroy her, wait till you get someone else to take over the lease then you can post all the facebook **** and tell his wife. if you do it your way now, she will definitely hold out on the lease and it will be very hard to get someone to accept to be her roommate.

think of this as a lesson in patience. and while you might find it unbearable to not take immediate action, you will have less headaches and it will cost less in the long run.

Also, since you're ending it, you do still owe the thread at least one non-traceable pic.

I still think posting on her facebook isn't the best idea from both a legal standpoint and it has the potential to turn you into the "villian". Simply do what you need to do if thats tell his wife, say your peace when she comes home from work, whatever to get closure, just be a better man and be done with it then. Her friends will find out soon enough from your close friends telling common friends and so on. It will even burn her up more when word gets around that you have moved on and put her behind you. If she calls/text a week or two later, simply ignore them. If lease crap needs to be discussed, ONLY do via email and keep it short and professional. Just do your thing on Saturday and be done with it.

I mean, I Catch-22 with the dash is probably taken, but still.

I thought with this many posts there'd for sure be a pic.

I can't believe you have been living with and sleeping next to her this whole time. Wtf?

When do the crabs arrive?

Any kind of the retribution being talked about ITT (telling the other guy's wife, kicking the other guy's ass, kicking her out of the apartment, posting her nude pics. whatever) is going to be totally ineffective and probably backfire. It's just going to piss her off. Hell, if you want to piss her off, just set her clothes on fire or something. She'll still get pissed, you'll still come across like an *******, and in her own mind she'll easily convince herself 'see, he's just an *******, I needed away from him anyway.' And what she thinks inside her own mind is all that matters.

The cruelest thing you can do to her is break up with her and never mention the cheating at all, act as if you don't know about it, act surprised if anyone ever brings it up to you. Then go out without missing a beat and smile your way through life and pick up another girl or two. She WILL get seriously ****ed up by this. It's just the way women are wired. If your whole attitude is 'I'm dumping you because I can do better' she'll torture herself over it.

If you want revenge, that's the only way to do it. Anything else is gonna backfire like I said, because it'll just make you an ******* and her justified in cheating.

But again, that's the cruelest thing you can do. Problem is, if you really want revenge that bad, you don't have the self control to pull it off, so you'll just do the ******* thing and it'll blow up in your face sure as the sun rises. You'd be better off just telling her you know and get the hell out.

JTS,

The diff between the car thing and the wife thing is that in one a crime was committed, and in the other just some hearts were broken. I understand the difference between morality and law, but just want to point out that it's not a fair comparison in terms of whether someone should provide information.

Can't wait till saturday and everything goes down. I hope OP updates quickly when it does. This is the best drama I've read on OOT for a long time.