Clearly this.

Even worse, you two are going to roll around in the mud together while I drink beer and watch.

OP probably got back together with her already after spending the night crying in her arms.

either way, A is the optimal choice with all things considered, didn't expect this thread to blow up like this in 12 hours

VAGINA GOT SPLIT

I was thinking about it earlier and I agree with this. There is no way this it motivated by anything other than with revenge in mind. I've been in the spot where I know about some cheating and I did nothing.

Grunch from here.

Very interesting thread, a lot of insightful posters... someone should read and summarize the best of it. Tell the wife for non-vengeful reasons vs don't tell the wife looks like a toss-up to me. I figure married people would know best, but I also find it difficult to believe people honestly think she doesn't deserve to know.

The problem with the "silent but deadly" approach imo is that it presumes a level of introspection that simply doesn't exist in some people, if not many, and almost certainly not in OP's gf. I seriously doubt she's going to be burdened by a nagging sense of anything, given that she's shooting off naked pics of herself on his birthday and banging married guys.

Anyone who is in favor of telling the wife because "she deserves to know": Do you tell any other person you don't know at all if you know (or believe) of their spouse cheating on them?

Maybe you should stalk the hotel bars looking for potentially married guys looking to pick up a different chick...because, you know, there's a wife somewhere out there who deserves to know. And you need to tell them!

Lets say you're in Vegas talking to some random stranger and he's kind of drunk and he says that his wife bores him so he's going to pick up a woman out there or get a hooker. Do you try to contact his wife back in Missouri to let her know what her hubby's up to?

Holy $hit 38 pages!

OP, first and foremost I think you need to protect yourself. In order to accomplish your goals, while preserving yourself on many levels, my suggestion would be to assemble the proof you have and either mail it anonymously, or from your girlfriend, to the wife of the cheating husband. Hopefully she is home during the day to get the mail, so that the bum husband wont intercede and hide it.

Next, claim to have received the same package to your girlfriend, (if she asks where you got it or who sent it tell her it doesn't matter) and break up with her. You will get the satisfaction of seeing the shame and embarrassment on her face when she finds out all that you know.

I can understand the point of not wanting to know if it was more like a one time mistake. Having an ongoing affair pretty much shows the person is fine with it and will continue to have them whenever possible until caught. One of the worst parts about this is that the person being cheated on is also having his/her health continually threatened by the chance of std's when they have unprotected sex under the pretenses of a monogamous relationship.


I bet most would rat on their friend if the friend was having an affair with their wife/gf.

I don't really agree with people saying it isn't "your business", when in fact it is your business because the guy contributed to ruining your relationship in a very ****ty way, he inserted himself into your affairs, he also could have passed herps on to you ect... In the op's case the guy almost certainly knew his gf was in a relationship and pursued her anyway. But ultimately i would likely tell the wife (if it wasn't too much trouble) because i would definitely want to be informed if the situation was reversed. If the wife is in denial or doesn't believe me, fine whatever, I'm not going to push it, just a fyi. If the guy didn't know the gf was in a relationship or she lied and said she wasn't then i would be more inclined to say nothing.

Also what is this the 1920's? the wife is going to get screwed and left with nothing, ha! Wife should do just fine legally if they end up getting divorced.

wtf? I thought your first reply was serious

This never ceases to amaze me.

Obviously it doesn't "benefit" you. That's not the reason you tell her. And again, you're not the one "meddling".

Why would you be involved? You tell her and that's it. You never have to deal with it again.

Tell the guy's wife's best friend.

i just read the last 2 ****ing pages of this thread and it had ONE update from OP

lock thread, op can pm a mod when he's ready to update

It's just disgusting that this thread has gotten so huge with so little participation from OP. What a bunch of worthless drivel.

Didn't the other guy's situation become whatever the **** I want it to be when he started ****ing my girlfriend?

edit:

Also, the facebook stuff is absurd. Leaving her high and dry with no apt because she's not on the lease is fine, as is bailing without telling her anything. You no longer owe her anything, presuming you haven't cheated on her. Everyone will eventually find out exactly what happened anyway, so there's no need to be dramatic.

First they came for his girlfriend, then they came for his thread.

thread is cheating on OP

His girlfriend came for them, pretty sure.

LOL

What "sophisticated" world do you live in?

If OP wants to tell his wife, he should. I don't think he's obligated to, and I think he should prepare himself for all sorts of responses, but to suggest he shouldn't out of respect for the sanctity of their marriage...

I know all of you are smart enough to have a tough time saying that phrase out loud without laughing, or maybe throwing up in your mouth a little. And if you really do believe in the concept, then you know how difficult it is to find someone else who agrees with it.

It seems pretty simple to me: if she doesn't already have the information, would she want it? I vote yes. And if she already knows/is doing it herself/etc, then OP will just be some random guy telling her something she already knows. Some people should have gotten divorced. Besides, what about the psychological effects on the kid as they get older and begin to realize that something fundamental is lacking in their parents' relationship? Or worse, that it was a big lie? And of course, this works both ways, forever and ever... which is why it's ultimately irrelevant.

Best way to get revenge with the least amount of blowback on you is to end the lease and when you are ready to leave have your friends get everything out of the apartment while she is gone. Change the locks so she cant get in. Leave her stuff in boxes in front of the apartment, wait for her to return and give her whatever speech you feel necessary preferably late at night so she will be alone without a place to live with all her stuff on the lawn hopefully too late for any of her friends to be awake/around to help. That should be pretty satisfying.

If you do tell the wife the main reason IMO is so she doesnt have someone to fallback on once youre gone, assuming he will be busy trying to fix thing with his wife and wont be able to see her.
My thoughts exactly, not a moral issue at all assuming most people wouldnt do so for a rando. Main reason not to do it is people with nothing left to lose do crazy **** and him coming after you is a pretty reasonable scenario.

most people don't apply their "morals" to randoms, they apply them to people they know/that can help them/that they want something from.