Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnycarson
Your girlfriend is laughing too much and it made the video a bit painful. I'm not trying to be rude but why do you even want to bother getting into stand-up at your age? Its a f tough business and just doesn't seem worth the tsuris to get involved with late.
It's a creative outlet for me and I think standup comics at the top have one of the best jobs in the world. Im not trying to make it, im trying to make people laugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by riverboatking
don't listen to that nonsense.
there is no age limit to start stand up, and maybe he's not trying to "make it" just wants to do it cuz he enjoys it.
Yup, if I ever were to get good at this I think it would be an advantage to not care about making it. Im not interested in grinding the road or showcases, I just want to share laughs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by movieman2g
+1, going up and doing a 2 minute set is fun and a great experience everyone should do imo.
re: the video itself - the triathlon joke doesnt really work, you're trying to mix too many jokes in there at once and it falls short. you also need better transitions. you're getting better from what i can remember, but you could do something like "my ex came into my hair salon", and then "my ex reminded me that i loved japanese porn", stuff like that.
also take your hand out of your pocket. i think it would make a world of difference in your delivery.
Thanks for the notes, I appreciate it. I think the triathlon joke is solid I just havent found the way to really show its potential. I think the concept of race mixing actually being about athletic races being funny, I think the white sport skiing black sport shooting guns is humorous and I think I have some room to improve with both a ragging on people who like triathlons and at the end the race around the world in a balloon is a funny concept as it happened. Im gonna keep at it with that one. I agree that my transitions were poorer in this set as I wanted to start testing more jokes on their own merit and the flow that I had in previous sets was about building a coherent set. I tried to force transitions like karate showing im racist into race mixing but the karate joke is weak so I just delivered what was basically a weak setup into a joke I like. Gotta take hand outta pocket, agreed!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Spaceman
You have to open with a good joke. The sperm bank line sounds like a setup without a punchline. Just mentioning a sperm bank doesn't make it a joke. Add something to it. "I work at a sperm bank. I know what you're thinking, and no I don't get paid to jerk off. I do that for free on my lunch hour."
Your joke with "the best has yet to come" is an interesting idea but would work better if it was about the girl instead of you. "If I could describe my girlfriend in 2 words it would be 'the best,' because the best is yet to come."
Also, since you are a crazy conspiracy dude, maybe you can use that in your act. Even if your jokes bomb, some people will laugh just because your topics will be so out of left field.
Nice, I like that reworking of the best is yet to cum. I was approaching it from the prude angel instead of a self degradation which is better. I also like the reworking of the sperm bank joke but I found out that its been done to death before so Im going to just axe it.
Id like to get good enough to start working more conspiracy stuff in there. I'm thinking that a joke along the lines of how it's really a disservice to call me insane because all I hear is that I'm IN-sanity so of course when you tell me that my idea that reptiles run a shadow government is insanity you're supporting me and telling me that I am sane. Like N-Sync probably never got why people thought they were ****ty singers because they are in-sync.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EddyB66
I turned off the video after 30 seconds. Hand in the pocket, rambling, no pauses for laughter, etc etc. I've been doing stand up for over 10 years now. The audience wants to like you, trust me. They will give you every shot to be funny, however you have to give them something. The hand in the pocket is a non verbal sign that you don't care, and if you don't care why should they. I couldn't tell where a joke ended and begun because there were no breaks in any of your talking. Lastly, I got a piece of advice from a really well known comic who told me write it down on paper word for word, if it reads funny, you bet your ass it will be hilarious live. But nice job getting up there at least. Not easy to do.
Thanks for 30 seconds of your life and someone elses advice! But seriously, thanks for the response I'm taking it into consideration.