Depression is a depressing topic ldo.

But when I'm really depressed, it helps to hear about other people's experiences with depression because it makes me feel less alone. Part of the crappiness of depression sometimes is when you feel like you're the only one who's depressed.

Depression is not sadness. This is incredibly hard to understand unless you've been depressed. Depression is a constant weight on your shoulders that affects everything you do. It's a state that has to be worked on for a long time and requires major change in your life, either mind or body, in order to be affected.

I think of depression as kind of your body's climate change. It doesn't make you sad just like climate change doesn't make the world hot all the time, but on average you're going to tend towards sadness and being more miserable. And if it gets bad enough, you stop experiencing those better emotions completely.

I wasn't claiming it was hence my attempt at a distinction.

To some extent my exit from these forums has been due to life long chronic depression. I have tried a few meds. At this point I can't get insurance so I'm not currently taking anything.

The past few years have been hard. My path can be tracked in posts here. Particularly the online dating thread 2014-2015.

I've adapted to the way my life is now. If not for my kids, a close friend and meds, chances are good that I would have permanently checked out by now.

Funny, I'll always remember that slap downs from cintanul were one of the warning signs that I was truly coming apart.

Good luck gobbo. You are definitely not alone.

Babs, shut the **** up.

Sent from my Moto G (4) using Tapatalk

Ah, my bad. I misunderstood.

No my bad!

I'll add that I've been a runner for over 40 years.

It's better to have a fit body than not, certainly, no one would argue that.

My anecdotal experience is, that's no fix for depression.

It feels better for a while, after a workout.

Then the **** closes in again.

ChipWrecked,

Maybe babs was on to something!

(Babs you are still banned from this thread)

Who is babs?

The Bay Area Beast, in his current iteration, the degenerate.

(can't believe that name was still available)

Yes the T stands for trauma. If you work on trauma with a therapist the bifurcate the experiences to either little T (small traumatic events like girls didn't like you in hs) or big T (like you watched your mother die in front of you). Clearly everybody internalizes their own struggles differently so the groupings are not the same for everyone, but it is an important distinction when working on this stuff.

I am glad you were able to work it out bud, and i completely understand what you mean. It sounds corny, but whatever and i get it.

I found this page was a revelatory description of how I "feel" most of the time or at least have felt in the past

I thought I was just in touch with the reality of existence

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...t-two.html?m=1

They think ketamine may work. Fast-tracking trials.

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/n...depression-faq

I just read the Time Magazine article about ketamine, but it wasn't a very good article.

I'm not going to pick apart everything said but for me, exercise has an immediate, dramatic and positive effect on my depression. It literally causes me to do a 180 and when I don't exercise the depression kicks in.

what are you guys experiences with writing a diary?
how did it help, why did you stop etc...?
i am talking explicitly pen+paper diary. blogging doesnt count, as i think there is an exhibitionist component to it that changes it completely from a diary.

cheers and hope you guys are doing better than me right now.

gl sku, hang in there!

Writing in a diary could help. Getting your thoughts out and on paper can be a great thing, a way to reflect and decompress, I don't do enough of it.

Sku,

My uneducated opinion is that too much introspection is part of the problem. I'd try anything that connects me to others. Go for a walk and say morning to people. See if you can volunteer somewhere for an hour. I know this sounds exhausting so break it down into steps - get off the comp, shave and shower, put on some relatively clean clothes, go for a walk. If you pass by someone give a half smile and say hello then keep walking.

I've had issues with it for a long time, I'm actually thinking of going to a therapist pretty soon. I'm trying to see an intern, you can get sessions for $50 or less a lot of the time.

I never had much luck with drugs. I've probably tried 7 or 8 of them, the only effects were a slight sedation and it being really hard to jerk off. If you have problems with premature ejaculation, there's not an anti-depressant that won't help you. Maybe I didn't take the right ones or I need a blend, but I can't afford to see a psychiatrist once a week and experiment, I'd be dead broke. Actually, uppers help, like caffeine or adderall, but real temporary effects that don't stick around and when you crash you feel the lowest of the low.

Exercise helps as well, but like the uppers, once the adrenaline or endorphins wear off, you're back to your normal depressed self. There's a good interview with Dominic Cruz (mma fighter) on youtube, where he talks about how he was able to completely ignore his issues with depression because he trained everyday, but then he got an injury where he couldn't train and felt it full throttle. I think that's an accurate depiction of how constant exercise helps with depression, but it actually has to be constant.

That's an interesting perspective, thanks. I wonder if it's the social engagement, accountability, routine, getting cleaned up, etc. aspects of exercise that help so keeping up with it would be really important.

Fight training is the kind of exercise where you go to the gym and are too worn out to do much of anything when you're done. So, he was either exercising or exercise-drunk from being exhausted and recovering. Actually, I think his "completely ignoring depression" is atypical, but I definitely see how it's possible. In my experience, working out to the point of total exhaustion definitely holds off depression for a bit longer than going to the gym and doing a couple lifts and jogging 15 minutes on the treadmill. The latter is probably healthier, more sustainable, and makes going to work the next day a lot easier. Those MMA guys do some serious overtraining.

I saw a therapist today for the first time in like 6-8 years. I highly recommend it. Just feels good to verbalize **** that's been weighing you down. Gives you something to look forward to as well. Seeing an intern for $50 a session. Still not super cheap, but luckily I have some money in a health savings account I can drain.

Agreed, talking to anyone is amazing. I had my 4th session with a conflict coach who is perfect for my needs.

SSRIs and getting back in really good physical shape is what pulled me out of a decade of depression.

I don't see how either one on their own would have worked. If you are a fat slob sitting on your ass all day like I was you are just deluding yourself that you are going to feel good mentally somehow.

SSRIs are not going to let you find happiness by sitting around all day playing video games and poker. It is just going to get worse as your body starts to age.

Being out of shape conditioning wise is not an option unless you want to be miserable.

Lol you are a ****ing idiot. Yea if you are depressed just start drinking vodka, that is a long term solution. When kratom stops working so well and you are now at a place 10x worse because of kratom addiction than when you started someone might actually pull the trigger. Great job!Great advice!
Lets include phenibut in there too, the other "miracle" drug of know it all idiots in their 20s just making things 10x worse.