I have to disagree with last part of this post. I want to urge everyone who is suffering to try out ALL things that possibly can improve the situation.

Be self observant when you start to take the drugs. Bug your psychiatrist, if the side effects are to bad or it doesn't help. There is multitude of very various antidepressants with very different side effects. Your and your psychiatrist's task is to find one that works for you. That might require up to a year time. Dare to experiment with dosage, especially in the lower direction. I had found an antidepressant that worked for me, and it worked at the dosage 10% from the minimal suggested therapeutic dosage. Experiment, keep in mind that how a drug works is VERY individual in this area.

It is helpful to keep a pretty simple log: something like 4 or 5 numbers on the scale from 1 to 10.

How suicidal I am today on the scale 1-10?
How much drive to do things do I have today?
How did I sleep?
Which side-effects and how bad did I experience today?

I completely agree with everything else you said in other posts here.

positive emotion comes from moving forthright toward a goal. it doesn't come from money or things.

the dog is a great analogy. dogs have some of the same basic needs that we do. a dog with 10,000 treats and toys isn't happy if they're locked in the house 24/7.

what makes them the most happy is doing the job they were bred to do. if they can't do that, they need to get out of the house and come home tired.

ever see a pack of those sled dogs right before they get hitched up to pull the sled? people are exactly the same way, except they are too complicated to realize it.

if you don't have a sled to pull, it's very difficult to have positive emotion in your life. people are built to withstand and overcome difficulty. you must find a sled to pull.

Love it.

We are programmed to try to survive. Or the human species would be extinct.

It is a very strange plight. We are living a movie and we are the star. We have co-stars and extras. And we know exactly how the movie ends. Death. We just try to entertain ourselves and distract the audience until the final scene.

The main difference to the dogs is this dumb brain, that is never satisfied by the current sled. I don't know.... How to find a sled that is worth pulling? I am old, I shouldn't struggle with that.

About 30% of my wake hours I think that what I do makes somehow sense, or to be exact I don't think about sense of life at all. I would like to make out of this 30% 90%. I don't think that it is possible to achieve 100%.

Dr. Peterson would say that responsibility is the only thing that gives life meaning. you're never too old to find a new cross to bear. my grandpa is 96, he'd probably murder a gang of puppies to be 65 again.


you could do Dr. Peterson's self authoring program. https://selfauthoring.com/

What is the difference to good diary?

I mean.... From short info on the site, I use my blog to do basically exactly that. In a blog I have additional benefit here of having friendly and actually very non-judgmental audience that does contribute to the usefulness of it. I am pretty lucky that I found this place.

Nooo..... I don't expect anyone to give me an answer to what is the sense of life, or how to live a deliberate life or any of the similar questions. But they plague me and to express them or see how other people deal with them helps.

Part of the problem may be that we live in an incredible materialist society (America). We are pounded non-stop with marketing.

Here is an example. The iPhone. All of a sudden I need it. Immediately. I don’t even know the benefits of the latest iPhone model. And if I didn’t get it, my life would seem worse off.

The problem is we can’t have everything. But it creates the desire. And then you feel absent. And sad.

I'm not remotely materialistic or need to keep up with the Jones or whatever and I still ended up with depression. I don't discount the notion though; it does make sense.

I am somehow on very similar wave like REXX

I don't have a desire for materialistic stuff. It really just doesn't bug me that I live a live style of a broke student. And I don't have a clinical depression any more. Tx God! Because it was seriously bad. But this mood swings, onsets of anxiety and of search for meaning in life they are still there.

Even if you don’t, you live in a society that is materialistic. Which can be just as painful and depressing and isolating.

I feel like killing myself when every time I see the the Kardashians on the cover of a magazine.

Capitalism monetizes everything including your disgust and hatred of its vain materialism and status seeking components. No one actually likes the Kardashians, they are a commodity meant to capture the envy and hatred markets.


'I like to take things people hate and make them my own.' -- Kanye West on displaying the Confederate flag at his concerts. This could also explain his marrying of Kim Kardashian, it's an elaborate social troll.

TV shows like the Kardashians or 'Real Housewives of Wherever' could never exist while the Cold War was going on, it would have been too much of a propaganda coup for the Soviets. "Look at the type of people these Americans worship, is this the kind of society you would want to live in, etc."

But now that the Soviets are gone the bourgeoisie have no working class State propaganda to keep their relentless commodification of everything in check and that's why we are seeing American culture get more narcissistic and venal as time goes by.

I am curious why the impulse is to kill yourself instead of to kill a Kardashian.

The number of people that like them make me want to kill myself.

80% of my emails today are about Cyber Monday and discount. And although I say I am not materialistic, I am tempted by some of the offers. Which creates angst.

That can't be good for the mental state of mind.

Why don't you feel like killing the people who like the Kardashians?

There is nothing wrong with taking advantage of sales to fulfill needs. Digital storage is super cheap at this time of year and I try to project how much I need for the next 12 months and buy it now.

I choose not to participate in a materialistic world. It has become part of my identity. Selfishness is not a virtue. I eschew instant gratification. I don't smoke weed. I don't seek out casual sex. I don't make impulse purchases.

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” - Oscar Wilde

A materialistic society is painful on the soul. There is no such thing as enough.

everyone certainly benefits from living in a wealthy, materialistic society.

life is suffering, one way or another.

Sometimes suffering is more bearable if you see other people suffering more.

I'm generally terrible dealing with people suffering from depression, but I've noticed some common themes amongst us* who are really trying to help but nevertheless say really unhelpful things to those suffering from depression. Especially those who have suffered, but no longer suffer, from depression.

Random statement by helpy helpful person: "You should go out and get some sun or exercise more or just try smiling. It works for me and the research shows that those who do such things don't suffer from depression."

Why is that problematic? Because it is the same as telling a short person that they should try being a bit taller. Or, maybe more apt, telling a shy person that they should be more gregarious.

They might agree, but that isn't exactly you being helpful. You are simply stating that they should stop having symptoms that they have. You'd not tell a pimply teen to not be spotty and to try to be a bit older, I expect.

*mostly me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE9JNMgsazc

Ain't that the truth. There is something that people do find cute though about shy kids. You will always here women say, "Oh, he/she is shy".

It's because shy kids generally aren't rude.

There is that, but I was more meaning that the advice just isn't generally helpful. And the few it does help almost universally turn into evangelicals* because they think that since it worked for them, it must work for everyone.

If I were you, specifically you, I'd concern myself more with mosquitoes than Kardashians. Mosquitoes are waaaaay worse and it is comparatively easy to avoid Kardashians.

Don't even get me started on tapeworms.

Sure they are, the little jerks forcing awkward silence on the rest of humanity. Awkward silence is far worse than a mosquito.

*this should be taken as them trying to be nice and helpful, which is a commendable quality.

Exactly! And last but not least, even though it´s the hardest part: Lern to accept the disease and learn to live with it (for those with recurrent MDD).

As soon as you found the right med and/or lifestyle, as soon as you found out what triggers the disease you will be able to live your life almost like a healthy person, you just have to be a bit more careful. You have to be careful, you have to take your med, you have to avoid triggers, you have to pay more attention to a healthy lifestyle and that´s it. There´s no 100 % guarantee that you won´t get sick anymore, you gotta be honest with yourself, observe your mood and go to the doctor when you are in an early stage. Do not wait until you´re so sick that you have to go to the hospital. When you experience early signs and symptoms: Go to the doctor!

What is so wrong about sharing your experience to help others? What is so wrong about advices which have been clearly proven in evidence-based studies to be helpful?

Because I suffered 8 depressive episodes, I can´t stand those who find millions of excuses not to fight and not to do anything about their condition. Sorry! Don´t wanna insult anybody or be offensive but to get and stay healthy you have to fight and move your bum bum!!! That´s the truth!

But I see this (so called low self-efficacy) not only in depression. A lot of people complain, complain, complain bla bla bla and don´t do anything about their situation, no! They don´t want tipps, they don´t wanna do anything, they want pitty instead of improving their life situation. They blame others, they blame the circumstances, they blame everthing but themselves! Can´t stand that! I prefer to ignore those people whether they are depressive or not - they suck out everybodies energy!