I apologize. I thought you were poking fun at the lot of us. I'm sorry I got defensive and I hope it doesn't start one of those bandwagon effects where people jump on your **** for no reason. I hope you're having a good day.

Does anyone have any thoughts on dopamine and depression? I have taken lot's of different SSRI's over the years with no to mild feelings of help from these drugs.
But I have a drug issue and have abused Cocaine and Opiates over the years and still am, the thing I notice is I have no motivation to do anything, I wouldn't even call it depression its more apathy no feelings, nothing is enjoyable and drugs like Coke make me relaxed and focussed not wired like most people get.

Maybe not the right thread but thought I would ask.

my friend, opiate abuse is how tens of thousands of perfectly capable and intelligent adults in the western world are going to degenerate and die this year.

ideally, you will find a clinical psychologist with experience in addiction treatment and simply listen to and obey all of their instructions, period.

they will tell you to join some kind of sobriety program. there is zero progress to be made on depression while you're actively abusing cocaine and opiates.

it's like calling 911 to get the fire department because your house is burning down but you're the one with the flame thrower.

You are 100% right, it just seems really difficult to make logical decisions when you are a addict.

I wouldn’t seek out quick fixes. Accept that your brain is reasonably f’d and repair will take patience. This is a good time to seek out eastern religious texts and throw your mind into a new thinking system — even if you believe it to be silly, it could provide a new structure to process reward centers and positive feedback loops. I have personal experience with recovering a drug-addled brain but not related to excess dopamine to my knowledge — mostly anxiety and nothing working right. I just know it’s possible to recover from brain trauma. You will have to adapt if you again want to know what happiness is.

yea, this is why sobriety programs are the way they are. you can't trust your own judgement, so you need to rely on the judgement of first your doctor, then your sponsor/sobriety group.

it's difficult, you're right, and it's work, but the alternative is to slowly degenerate, slide into hell, and then die an untimely death

My gf is a nurse in a rehab clinic.

She has patients who are there because they had a choice between rehab and jail.

I would hope it wouldn't come to that for folks ITT. Unfortunately incarceration = necessary rock bottom for many.

I'm not judging, just offering that as the reality many addicts face. This is California. I suspect in other states there wouldn't be a choice.

Try to reach a mindset where you are ready to kick before the choice is made for you. To anyone facing the struggle.

Good luck and best wishes to all.

I'm not suicidal but having constant suicidal thoughts. Like I'm trying to convince myself to do it.

I'm pretty exhausted of life, just trying to take efforts to improve it and getting nowhere. At this point I don't even want to try anymore, everything is hard and with no payoff seems pointless. I realize no one is going to help me at this point, but at same time I don't have faith in myself to improve it on my own either.

Life is constantly getting worse, and I realize as I get older it's only going to get harder.

How old are you now?

Mostly life gets better as you go on.

Are you still not doing anything to treat your depression?

not if you can make enough money to support your habit.

ofc, if you are actually depressed while doing drugs, then thats a pretty bad thing. most ppl dont get depressed until the opiates run out.

I hear emotional support animals can make a difference. There's a great thread around here somewhere.

But joking aside, I too struggled mightily with myself over the last year, with a broken marriage, financial burdens, hospital trips, suicide attempts/deaths of those around me, losing my home and so on. What I can say that helped me the most and happened to be the most helpful advice I got, is to TALK to someone. Obviously a trained professional being ideal, we as human beings at some level crave some form of emotional and social connection to others.

Normally I would shut down and internalize or self medicate which was practicing terrible coping methods, but going to therapy and sharing my struggles, while at the time feeling hopeless and indifferent to the help I was getting, consequently resulted in the most drastic and positive change in my life I had ever experienced. The change mainly being in the realization that the burdens I felt upon myself were products of my own imagination and that with work, I could train my brain and discover my worth and potential.

31, as I get older I just lose more hope. Realize not much is going to change at this point.


Define not doing anything. Professional help? I currently can't really afford it and have had many different therapists/meds and they never helped. I'm currently in best shape of life, forcing myself to socialize, but I basically have to force myself to do those things at this point since not getting much enjoyment out of them currently.

Besides venting, I never got anything out of mental health professionals. I felt most just looked at me like a paycheck and the one that seemed to really care could never get me on the right path. Most just provided the same generic advice you can get anywhere and at this point I would prefer just actionable steps that will lead to something

There's nothing that says you necessarily have to go to a 'professional' and I can understand why you feel that way towards them. The professionals are only really there to help find you on the map, and give you the directions out of where you currently sit. I would hope you might have family or friends that can help support you on an emotional level. But whether its doctors family or friends, no one can walk the path for you.

Have you tried reading? I would imagine theres an abundance of literature that would directly or indirectly guide you to a better mental and emotional state. Perhaps find a sport or activity you enjoy, learn a new skill, take a part time job you might not otherwise have considered or enjoy like dishwashing or mowing lawns or something.

All of these can help get your mind out of its current pattern, generate natural inspiration and motivation to better yourself and your situation, thus creating new opportunities you couldn't have discovered otherwise. Idk I'm just trying to share some things that helped me, you really do gotta find what works for you and believe in it.

I meant to ask up top, but have you ever been evaluated for any illnesses or disorders? My ex wife suffered from depression, manic bipolar and had a lot of ptsd from her youth. She expressed a lot of the things you seem to be struggling with about suicide, and I wonder how much it could be adversely affecting you as well.

Actionable steps that will lead to something sounds just like what you'd get from a CBT therapist. If you've ever been to therapy for CBT and weren't getting actionable steps, then it wasn't CBT. If you can't afford therapy or meds, there may be subsidized/free options available depending on where you live. If you're not interested in trying therapy or meds and don't think you can help yourself, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Make a list of the stimuli that give you the most trouble. Another with the ones that make you feel the best. A third with stimuli that are important to you, but are not as functional as they were before becoming depressed.

Think of ways to minimize the trouble list, even if unrealistic. Think of how to improve the second list. And do something personal with the third.

I believe this to be a good exercise for battling depression.

I quote that one here, because it is a pretty good list in one post. Most of the things have already been mentioned here. And it is a pretty good list how to deal with life, even if you aren't clinically depressed. I will implement more in my life:
- positive affirmation
- social activities
- challenging negative thoughts

Hey guys,
so, I´m back and I´m on Paxil. Had to take it against anxiety which is a comorbidity of recurrent depression. I refused to take SSRI for a long time but now I had to because my anxiety got worse and worse. Well, here we go! Dosing in this stuff was a pain in the a**! But now side effects are gone and the drug is kicking in! So, joined the SSRI-club.

I struggle with depression and anxiety, but it not so debilitating as many people face. For this, I feel very fortunate and also have incredible empathy for others ... it's so ****ing hard to explain what these really feel like. ...

I don't believe I've posted in this thread before so I just wanted to include something which has worked for me: Kratom.

It's essentially a tea leaf, consumed in a couple of ways. Large doses can get you feeling an opiate-like high, and many people use it to detox OFF opiates. However, I mention this hear because ...

A fairly small dose can have a pretty amazing impact on me. It's like a curtain lifts, or something. It is an incredibly small and profound change in my way of feeling. Just that "everything will be ok." ...

I wish I could describe it better for people. The first or second time I was able to identify the feeling of relief, it helped me to identify my depression/anxiety as almost a physical object that, for moments, just stepped out of the room.

Perhaps it can work for someone else.

Unfortunately those teas & plants & herbst didn´t work for me. I meditated against my anxiety which also didn´t help a lot. Against depression I can fight better than against anxiety.

Paxil works well for me, take only 10 mg. But this drug makes me total hypersexual!!! Sexual dysfunction? No way! I could **** twice per day!!!! Husband has now WAY more "work to do"

I’ve been through major depression as well as chronic pain and would like to share what helped me:

Drugs: Imipramine. I tried SSRIs but no luck. Imipramine is still considered the gold standard of treating major depression and is also cheap. Also, if you do take this make sure you get a blood test to make sure you are therapeutic. Mine was not and I was probably a month away from ECT until a new doc told me to get a blood test.

Counseling: Just someone to check-in with and set basic goals. My goal the first month was literally just getting out of bed during the day. Gotta start with baby steps.

Socialization: Helped me a lot. Even if going outside, walking, and seeing people or nature to get out of my head. Also, a job that involves talking to people is helpful.

Animal: Getting a dog helped me a lot because I was forced to take care of another living being. Also forced to take him outside for walks. Cats are good too, but dogs are a bit more work meaning it forces you to do stuff

Regarding poker, definitely agree that it draws in people likely to be depressed and will make depression worse. Not saying poker is bad at all, just that it can attract depressive traits.

Just wanted to share what has helped me. Good luck to all.

Grunching. But I've been going through post break up depression. I'm not prone to depression normally but after a really rough break up I think thats what I'm going through. Don't wanna leave the house or do anything. Barely even pokered, haven't been working out. Still going out with friends on the weekends but its almost a chore.

Since I don't think its a long term problem, been hearing good things about St. Johns Wort for mild depression. Thinking about using it to help me through it since its OTC. Thoughts?

Only thing I'm really worried about is I do occasionally like to take MDMA at festivals and been reading I'd be at risk for Serotonin syndrome. But sounds like if I stop it for a week beforehand I should be fine.

St. John's wort did nothing for me.

But I've since been diagnosed as a chronic depressive with acute flare ups.

Might help if you're just suffering through a rough time.

More than serotonin sickness, I'd say just avoid any drugs that **** with your serotonin. They don't work nearly as well when you're on that medication anyway.

I was on SSRIs for 6 months and hated it. Side effects (mostly sexual) were unbearable.

I quit the meds, against my doctor's wishes, and focused on treatment through therapy. I'm much better off now than I was at my worst. I actually feel like myself again now barely a month after I stopped taking that ****.

zoltan - great post!