life sucks and then you die

Thanks Josie, I live for those little things like you mentioned 😊. It's just so hard because I want to have more friends and enjoy going out but I'm such an uncomfortable person. Part of it is I'm really dumb and I care way too much about what people think. But I've found the opposite approach doesn't work either- when I try to stop caring about others I ignore them and turn into a douche. There's just so much wrong with me.

What's the best way to find a therapist? I have no clue where to start. I know I have some insurance coverage through my company but don't know how much it'll cost me. (One time I tried therapy it cost $25 per visit but doctor was terrible)

It´s trial and error. I would do research in the internet and look at the ratings and feedbacks from patients, also the location of the therapist is important - you don´t wanna travel too far to your therapist, especially in a case of emergency. Then you make a phone call and say you need help and you tell about your symptoms.

Or do you have to go to your family doctor and he/she will find a therapist for you? I don´t know, in my case my GP sent me to my current therapist.

Here in Germany we pay 15 f*** percent of our income for health insurance so everything is covered. Don´t know how it is in other counties.

But anyway: It´s really really worth to seek treatment and if you get the right one and you´re a bit lucky - your depression will be "history"

Man, I forgot how rough the sexual side effects were on an SSRI. It takes me like minimum 30 minutes to jerk off. I guess it would be good if I was in a relationship, I could be a bionic boyfriend because there's no way I'm ever finishing from penetration alone.

http://www.psychologytoday.com is where most of them list their services. As for insurance, definitely contact your insurance company and they'll tell you what coverage you have. Keep in mind, a lot of therapists don't accept insurance or accept select few providers, but you still might be able to get a receipt and get reimbursed.

..sounds very good!! Don´t think we women have ANYTHING against THAT

(excuse me, couldn´t hold THIS comment back )

Pretty much takes me that long without any drugs.

Just remember, anything worth doing, is worth doing well.

Steak is worth doing, but is not worth doing well (done).

We have different equipment (I think?) though. 30 minutes of furious attention with mine is painful. I went at it for 20 minutes the other day, and was so frustrated I just gave up without closure. I'll give paxil 2-4 weeks, but it's gonna have to work well for me to stay on it. Not being able to squeeze some lotion out the tube real quick is kind of tough to live with.

It's interesting, all 5 anti-depressants I've taken did the same thing to my dick.

When I was on Paxil years ago it reduced my sex drive, but I don't think it did anything to my performance. Of course I didn't even realize it reduced my sex drive until my gf told me later after I was off it. She apparantly wasn't pleased about that side effect, but thought the drug was helpful so she didn't mention while I was on it.

Good point. Accepting whatever happens (beyond one’s control—many things in life), and mentally preparing for both good, bad, and neutral outcomes is critical to maintaining mental stability. Poker, well-played and understood, should aid in achieving this outlook.

Increasing opportunities for catharsis is important as well—read, watch good tv and movies, go to museums. Make plans and do things spontaneously.

Only short term and yes the first break up is often the hardest, but having been in a relationship is a lot different to having never been in a relationship. You're really not back to square one when it breaks up. I'd also go as far to say that crying over a girlfriend who's gone is a healthy kind of sadness whereas crying over never having been taken off the shelf is an unhealthy kind of sadness.

I'd at the caveat though that like most things ITT it's probably individual.

I'm sorry if I was insensitive to a very real issue. Maybe this is something to bring up with your doctor?

Since I have been married I always use to ask the doctor what side effects the med will have in the "marriage bed".

Prozac didn´t have bad side effects on my "marriage bed" but gave me the worst anxiety attacks and full blown agitated major depression EVER!!!!!!

I guess St. Johns Wort doesn´t affect your sexuality in a negative way.

Oh, no, you got me wrong, I find it funny more than anything. It just legit sucks.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorgasmia
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC181091/

Hmm...sounds like it can be treated with Viagra. Interesting, I always thought of that as a drug just for people who can't get an erection.

Guess besides St. Johns Wort there is one drug which doesn´t cause sexual dysfunction, forgot which one.....?

Welbutrin

I had anorgasmia on Wellbutrin as well.

Speaking of drugs, I learned a lesson that I'll share with you all...

Drugs you take for unrelated issues can have unexpected side effects, including depressive effects.

I did a 90-day course of terbinafine (Lamisil) for a funky toenail, and found myself in one of the worst depressive states I've ever been in. I have struggled with mild-to-moderate depression since childhood, and I did have a lot going on, but I do think the terbinafine pushed me down further than I would have been without it.

So, lesson learned, read all the fine print on all the drugs you take.

Cortisone and some antibiotic drugs can cause depression as well. A couple of years ago I had a very very bad sinusitis and had to take antibiotics. I got quite bad mood swings from it, wow!

I heard Wellbutrin is a quite nice drug, but in the case of a relapse I can´t take it because there is bad drug interaction with my mood stabilizer Lamotrigine. I would get Valdoxan but I hope this will never ever happen!!! My goal is: no more relapse! I believe in it, I´m positive. Besides Lamotrigine I follow the Paleo diet, I exercise and meditate a lot and I feel extremely strong and healthy, even though my doctor is already prepared for a relapse and doesn´t believe me, that since I have changed my diet I got even more stable and the residual symptoms dissapeared.

Today is a glorious day, weather-wise and mood-wise. Not too long ago I contemplated suicide and one of my rewards for still being alive was this perfect day.

Please, to those posters who are in despair, please don't give up trying to find a treatment that helps you manage your condition and feel joy again. I am rediscovering things I love like sitting on a park bench by a lake with a book, cooking an elaborate meal, playing with the cat, having coffee with my college roommate. All these things are so different when not experienced through the haze of depression.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

You are brave and strong and now you get rewarded for beeing a real good fighter!

I felt the same when finally (!) the right treatment was found for me and I still feel the same after 4 years of beeing depression-free! This is our reward for beeing strong!

When I'm suicidaly bad, 'me' isn't good enough not to check out.

As a kid I couldn't do it because of my mom.

A couple years ago I couldn't because of my kids.

Now things are better. But I hang on because I can't put other people through the trauma.

I'm seriously contemplating saying **** it, cashing out my retirement, and eventually killing myself once that's gone

I wasted years not doing anything because of depression. This year is the complete opposite where I've put so much effort forward and it's gotten me nowhere.

I'm not making money no matter how much effort i put forth, I suck at networking so have to figure it out on my own. I have no place to live and constantly have to look. I'm just so tired of it, just non stop stress, can't relax at all. Feels like all the opportunities are gone and I'm in too deep of a hole.

So cash out your retirement account, but don't ****ing kill yourself. I'd get that retirement money too and use it for housing. I understand getting an apt isn't easy because you need proof of steady income so maybe use the money for alternative housing? Buying a van to live in? Or getting a roommate, someone who already has the existing apartment. check on craig's list. There are always peeps looking for a roommate to help with rent and they don't require a background check, just cash money. You could even offer to pay a couple of months in advance with the retirement money so they know you aren't going to stiff them.

Work on the issues one at a time and maybe you don't off yourself at the end. Make a huge mother****ing check list.

1. Withdraw money.
2. Set up checking account (if you don't already have one) to deposit $
3. Check craig's list for roommates (or for vans or fill in the blank)
4. Get outside everyday
5. Do laundry
6. look for job
etc

All together you feel overwhelmed but Voracious Reader recommends making lists for even the tiniest stuff. It helps get things done, plus you'll be in a better place mentally when you've accomplished some items.

DO NOT KILL YOURSELF. It would be far too upsetting to ME. There is a network of people on this forum who are ready and willing to listen to you and provide whatever ideas/thoughts they can. You are not alone.