The USA has a horrible record with mental health. Despite tremendous strides towards change, we still belittle and make fun of those with mental health issues despite over 16 million American adults experiencing a depressive episode each year.

I first started struggling with depression in 2011 or so. It took me a few years to even realize that I was depressed, and even longer to really realize what that meant and to not feel like I did something wrong by having it. I realized when dealing with friends who also struggled with problems that no one really wanted to talk about their experiences because people might look down upon them. For that reason, I think it's incredibly important to talk about it in an open setting, free from shame or judgment. It's a mental illness that affects far too many people, and acknowledgement and support are the first two steps towards fixing it.

I have rarely gone a full day in the last 6 years without some thoughts about killing myself. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. The best thing you can do is get help in whatever form suits you.

Hopefully this will be a thread where people can come and talk about their depression or their family's depression and the experiences that stem from it. Or we can try to explain what it's like to live with depression to those who have never experienced it before.

So, what's on your mind?

gobbo,

I've had a number of close friends struggle with depression. For some of them, it has taken a LOT of different doctors and medicines until they've found something that works with them. But many have completely turned their life around. So if you've tried some things that haven't worked out for you, don't give up and think there's no hope. Treating depression and other mental illness still involves a large amount of trial and error.

Yup, agreed. I went to a psychologist, multiple psychiatrists and a few therapists. Therapy I enjoyed the most and I'm starting sessions with someone new tomorrow who specializes in conflict coaching, so I'm going to see how that works out.

Start shooting hoops on the regular. Not in a game, just shooting until you're tired. Try to make 5 threes in a row.

gobbo,

I have a close friend (best man at my wedding) who seems to be stuck in a rut. He hates to talk about it.

He's always been a bit of a shy social type - he will always give the "I'm not feeling good" response when we were supposed to head out with friends and play on his Xbox.

My friends are convinced that he is suffering from some sort of depression, but we're finding it very awkward to approach it with him.

any advice?

Gobbo,

I suffered pretty badly with depression after the deaths of my parents. It's a very difficult illness to deal with as there is a real stigma attached to it and some people think it's just something people should be able to "shake off". I was very reluctant to even acknowledge my depression due to things people, especially my family, had said about depression in the past. Ignoring it and just trying to get on with things just made things much worse. It was only after I sought therapy and took medication that I started seeing the light. I am now off the medication and not getting therapy but I would without hesitation start doing these things again if I started sinking again. I still have the occasional bad day but it's nothing like I felt at my worse. I feel so grateful I am feeling better.

Things I do now to try and stay well are taking fish oil, eating well, exercising(a work in progress) a gratitude journal, staying connected with family/friends and doing things I love even when I don't really feel like it.

I think it's important to note how difficult depression can be on partners and families of the person who is depressed. They are often overlooked when they have to deal with a lot.

I hope you manage to see the light also. Depression is a tough gig.

To some degree, he has to be able to help himself. If he doesn't want to cooperate, there's likely not much you can do. You said you're very close, so it seems likely that he would trust you if you just sit him down in a private manner and asked him straight out if he's doing okay and say that he seems down recently and might look into seeing someone. Offer to help find someone and make it so that he's not doing it alone. Part of the insidious nature of depression is it makes you unable to do things that seem easy to other people through absolute lack of motivation to change or better yourself. If life is pointless, why try to make mine better? Someone has to be there for you.

Most important thing is to make it private. Don't tell other people you're doing it. Don't make it seem like it's a bad thing. Getting help is a great thing and should be treated as such. It's fine to be introverted, but it's not good to be completely antisocial all the time. Take it slowly and be ready to help him.

Totally agreed. That's one reason I made this thread: I wanted a place to talk about my own problems without subjecting a few friends to all my venting. It's hard to hear it day after day.

It feels impossible to be 'cured' of clinical depression, but there are good ways to manage the symptoms. Recognition is the first step.

I'm hoping something optimistic will emerge from this thread. Depression is common for those on the internet too much. I have found that virtually nobody is willing to talk about it unless they're getting paid, but that could be my own fault.

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An interesting comment a particularly bright person made to me was that depressed people like being depressed, and I thought she was insinuating it to be like a warm blanket or something. While there might be some getting used to it and an adaptation/apathy, I would like to reply back 10 years later that it is still a hysterical idea and quite untrue.

Yeah that comment seems really ignorant.

Fwiw I don't consider myself cured or whatever but I do consider I am in a good place and so much better than how I was. That's what I meant by seeing the light. I was in such a bad place and now I feel pretty good most of the time. It's a huge relief but I feel like I have to be vigilant and keep an eye on my mental health. I do understand when you are deeply depressed it's hard to imagine things can improve, but they really can.

Tuma,

It's interesting what you said about the internet. When I was really depressed I pretty much put a ban on the internet as it made me feel so much worse.

I want to believe this is merely very unwelcomed trolling. Othwerwise... just wow.

Gobbo, i hope you dont look only at psychiatrist and psychologist for help, your depression can be a symptom of some other problem as well, i know for me my tyroide is definitely a source of depression.

Gobbo,

I started a mental health thread in EDF a while ago. I haven't been posting in it much because I felt it was too much like a blog. But I layed out everything that's helped me with depression and anxiety (anxiety is like depression's sibling).

I don't know a whole lot about you, but I recall your mom posting some weird **** on the forums a few years ago. How is your relationship with her now? Is this something you've dscussed with your therapist(s)? I'm curious because my mother's inaprope behavior when I was little is like 90% of the source of my mental health issues.

For anyone with depression or serious mental health issues, I can't recomend The Mental Illness Happy Hour enough. If you think no one talks about mental health issues, you've never heard this show.

On the surface it can seem that way. The thing about depression that only depressed people really understand is that it's so incredibly hard to do the simplest things. In the depths of my depression, getting out of bed was a huge accomplishment. I've gone 2-3 days without eating a few times just because getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was an insurmountable task.

Depression also stifles basic cognitive ability. Depressed people usually have a lot of trouble making decisions and doing any kind of complex thinking. This makes it seem like they're not trying to get better or that they don't want to get better.

While this isn't an accurate comment, it's easy to see how someone on the outside looking in could think that. Depression can become "comfortable" in the way being stuck at the bottom of a deep pit is "comfortable," in that climbing up the sides or devising another way out can seem just completely impossible and hopeless. So you decide "welp, this is my life now" and try to make the best of being at the bottom of the pit. And someone walking by can look down, see you in there, and think "What is wrong with that person? Why isn't he trying to get out? He must just enjoy living down there."

Certainly in the UK I think the tide is turning on people talking more about mental illness. The head of my department at work posted a blog a couple of weeks ago about how he's suffered from depression for years, nobody had a clue.

Depression is just a habit of emotion, same with anxiety, self hatred, anger issues. You need to lift the equivalent of emotional weights to get you positive emotional habits stronger then the negative ones. In a sense it's a battle of software, do you want your **** software to rule or you positive software.


That and when you're obese you are gonna be depressed so time to start fasting for 16 hrs and walking and hour a day everyday Gobbo. You will drop Lbs like they are nothing. Also do Wim Hof, it uses endogenous chemicals that is exactly what anti depressants work on inhibiting reuptake of your feel good neurotransmitters. Basically it's time to stop ****ing around with bull**** artists like psychiatrists and use the techniques that humans been using for 1000s of years cuz depression is a joke once you understand the emotional system.

gobbo, i assume that you are quiet rich from poker money. if you are depressed - lets say on a level of 6 on a 10 scale - does thinking about: "well at least i have money! cheer you up in some way? forget about that question if you arent rich.

also: dont you think that being a poker pro (i guees thats your job?!) is a horrible job for depressed people. i can see some upsides: meeting people you like, talking a lot, being a lot outside etc. but i dont have to tell you/and others about the downsides.

The last 2 posts sum up for me some of the ignorance around depression.

Yes exercise helps, but depression is nowhere near as simple as you think. You clearly don't "understand the emotional system" very well. Millions of people have been taking antidepressants for many years because they work, not because they don't work.

Fasting can work for some people, and for others, like me, it can make anxiety worse.

As someone else mentioned, and as you probably already have, try to rule out a medical explanation first. Thyroid problems can really contribute to feelings of depression as can things like poorly managed diabetes. There's a whole host of potential medical issues that a few blood tests would be able to determine if they're there or not.

One of the saddest things about depression, in my opinion, is the impact it has on your relationships with others. Not only do depressed people tend to isolate themselves, the non-depressed people typically don't understand why the other person is feeling depressed. They make ignorant comments like the guy a couple posts up saying if you're rich, you shouldn't be depressed. Or people blame themselves for it as they feel they have somehow let you down as a friend, family member, or spouse. But that's not what it is. It isn't like a typical sadness that all people feel from time to time and it doesn't typically have one general source that can be rectified over night. It's just sad to see the relationships collapse as a result of it but, occasionally, I see them get strengthened when the ignorant person is willing to put in the time and actually learn what it's all about.

All,

(And especially gobbo as he is the OP)

Would you prefer this thread be moderated rigidly and obviously terrible takes on depression be removed, or would it be better to allow these takes to be aired so that they can be countered and we can eventually move into more substantive discussion?

People who talk about depression like flat earther can be kicked out imo.

Personally, I like the terrible takes on depression. I think it shows how little people know about it and those posts offer an opportunity to address some of the myths and misperceptions about what depression is. But I'll defer to OP since it's his thread.

We're all just bags of chemicals and that might sound really depressing when you're depressed. But when the right chemicals are sloshing around in your bag it makes you happy to realize we're just bags of chems since you know you can change your mood at will and with a bit of time.


Dopamine is the motivation molecule, dopamine deprived rats have been observed to starve to death lacking the motivation to even eat. Search for high dopamine foods on Google and try to only eat those for a while. Exercise releases dopamine as well, which is why it is always suggested. If you're suicidal and you need an emergency boost of dopamine I recommend taking 3 grams of Kratom. Kratom is a member of the coffee family and is basically a legal opiod, you can purchase it in smoke shops in Las Vegas. Forget about all big pharma chems, they are all exploitative psychopaths. And don't any of you big pharma shills dare dispute this statement you scum sucking pieces of ****, I hope you all die parasite scum.