I missed this thread first time around. Your post was very moving. My wife delivered a stillborn baby girl, Leah Ann, at 20 weeks last October 5th, it has been nearly a year. I am not sure I have fully dealt with it even today. It is very hard on a relationship, I have a hard time understanding when she is upset about seemingly "marginal" things, but I am sure it is much deeper at times (the new fertility drugs probably do a number on her too)
I could never write the depth that you did. It is quite a whirlwind that is almost beyond words, the decisions you have to make so quickly are unfair.
If I could give anyone advice, it would be take pictures and don't stop taking them. It sounds weird at first, but if you don't you will regret it. I thought we took quite a few, but it wasn't close to enough.
My baby girl's face looked just like my son's when he sleeps, it makes me cry the resemblance.