i feel like HOAs just aren't as common in my area of the country, and are super common elsewhere. truth?

Very common in Northern/NW Chicago burbs, and its expensive.

Heretic.

What legal authority do they have? What if he refuses to paint his house?

Edit: Ok, I did my own googling. They're ****ing insane.

You have a contract and they can fine you and put a lien on your house.

In theory they are good at keeping morons from doing terrible things from wrecking the value of the neighborhood, but they almost always go too far. Then again, some non-HOA neighborhoods near me look like piles of trash, so maybe dealing with these nazis beats the alternative.

The morons in my neighborhood tried to fine me for having a garbage can that tipped over in a wind storm while I was at work on the side of my house.

OPT OUT! WE GOT AN OPT OUT HERE!

Yeah, even having to do this strikes me as pretty annoying. I have better things to do.

I know nothing about whatever HOA in the little area I'm living in right now. I'm renting somebody else's place but I know they must have something here with some sort of rules.

Thankfully they seem completely non-invasive and not very willing to help the crazies here as much. The old lady next door came out screaming at me about the DirecTV cables from the owners of my place that barely touched her part of the roof. That's how we met....with her bitching at me about something that isn't even mine. Dealing with crazy neighbors isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Yeah, I can see the appeal for things like cutting your grass at least once a month, not leaving **** out on your lawn, and things like this. But once it gets to the level of painting your house a certain colour - it seems crazy.

While far from perfect I think I'm happier with municipal governments handling laws to keep houses from looking like ****. At least there you're less likely to get a bunch of crazy housewives (or househusbands) taking it over and going crazy (in any reasonable sized city).

1) HOA's have a tremendous amount of discretion in what rules/regs they want to put out.

2) For the most part, my HOA is reasonable, although they've done a few things I haven't agreed with.

3) $250 a month, which is a bit high for what we get

4) If you don't have time to get involved with your HOA (like me) the best strategy is to send a letter or go to the next meeting and lie - say that the bumps are too high and are causing damage to your vehicle. REASONABLY say that you think they should be shaved down, or you'll have to send a bill for repair to the HOA. Don't threaten a lawyer unless you're going to follow thru.

5) Ignore the internet tough guys - ****ing around with the bumps will get you fined or worse (see #1)

6) READ YOUR GODDAM HOA CONTRACT.

7) Good luck

MM MD

If people actually participated it wouldn't be that bad but the problem is that most people don't have the time or interest. What ends up happening is that a handful of people show up (sometimes with a lot of proxies) and so they get to decide everything. The type of people who do this tend to be crazy.

I was working in an HOA neighborhood once that had speedbumps. Apparently, a lot of the people didn't like them, and whenever these guys approached a speed bump, they would hold down their horn until they were on the other side of it. I'm not sure what the outcome of this was, but at least it got the attention of everyone.

One angle you can shoot here, although I'm not sure if it applies to a private road, is that these bumps have to be approved by the fire department, and other emergency services. You might want to try reporting it to them; They don't like bumps that break their trucks.

we had the cheap pre-fab screw down ones in one of my old neighborhoods. i went out at like 2am one day with a huge crescent wrench and took them out.

i couldn't take it anymore.

/coolstory

Ya I guess I'm fortunate it's that cheap. There isn't too much the HOA dues cover though... landscaping in the summer and snow removal in the winter, and apparently installing speed bumps.

Driving around the speed bumps is sorta an option but of course it means driving on the sidewalk or someone's lawn, which is a ******ed solution.

I've been trying to find any standards/regulations on the size/shape of speed bumps but I'm afraid even if such a thing exists it wouldn't apply to private roads...

Maybe you can slip the snowplow driver a couple of bucks to try and rip them up.

Wow OP that would absolutely make me go ****ing insane. I don't know how many of the people who suggested destroying them were joking, but that is without question the only thing you can do. It's on private property so the police can't get involved (at least i don't think so) and like someone mentioned earlier, it's going to cost a lot more than the board has to keep putting them back up.

Or...

HOAs are not all evil.

Love your avatar so gonna go easy on you here: do you really think police don't have any power involving vandalism/crime on private property?

I live in an HOA subdivision and it's not all bad. They sent us a note bec we had a tiny decorative item on our front yard so we took it away. They also sent letters out that they felt the neighborhood (appx 10 years old) would look better w/ different color houses so they informed us that they'd liberalized the color choices (no requirement to paint) and now that a few ppl have painted (us included) the street does look better. The good part is is that everybody has to maintain their property well. In other parts of town I see homes w/ huge RV's parked in their yards and houses that are a bit run down.

I know OP said his HOA is hard to contact but it can't be impossible. I'd suggest he let them know that the speed bumps are damaging his car and propose that they shave them down a bit. That's worth a try at least.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My friend who has to paint his house is in a bit of a bind. It's a very good house for what he paid and it's in a good area and he doesn't want to move but it still isn't pleasant being told to paint a house that doesn't need painting.

just drive over the bump sideways/at an angle to avoid damage to the vehicle.

lol, ya, I thought about it during the day after I made my post, and it was pretty stupid to say that cops can't get involved, I was prolly too busy spewing off 15buy-ins to think straight, but whether they can and whether they are going to are two totally different things. If I was a cop and someone complained to me about speed bumps I would tell them to **** right off

Still, if I had a 40k car and I couldn't access my house without damaging it, I wouldn't think twice about taking action.

Sue

If the bumps are damaging your car, you have a strong case. Get an attorney to write a letter saying you will hold the HOA responsible and that he will solicit your neighbors with damaged cars. If you don't know who is on the board, send a letter to everyone soliciting plaintiffs. That will get their attention fast.

If you would rather not spring for an attorney, you can do all this yourself in small claims court.

This. It will work.

At least while you have to deal with it you can protect you car.

Have the same problem, although different kind of bumps. I go over them on an angle and it helps but I'd rather have them removed.

Soak them with gasoline (don't light them). They'll shrink every time you drive over them after that. Probably a bad idea, but it would work. I'd try to reason with the HOA, then take iron81's advice if that didn't work.

Legal consequences of paying children to mess with the speed bumps?

Please advise.