very true

epic thread. I had a friend whose gf was Borderline:
needy
histrionic
clingy
would wail like she was a seal if she couldn't see her bf
total nightmare
I looked at her as an animal, not a person


run op, run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you sound nice.

I am nice.

davino's bbv "saga" is one of the most disgusting piles of trash that ive ever seen

sorry to hear that, bro.

Link?

My gf and I for the past week have both had a bad cold so we couldn't really do much but stay in bed and talk. It's weird, We just somehow go from talking about music to all of a sudden talking about who do we think would go to our funerals. We're both chain smoking, and smoking isn't a cheap habit. My gf was more emotional when she had the cold, and I woke up one night to her hitting the wall and saying how she can't breathe through her nose, and that she can't do this anymore. She wasn't having a panic attack or anything, she was just really upset. When we both felt better from the cold though, we had some energy back and sort of cleaned the house a little bit, because there was literally pizza boxes, cartons, cans, wrappers and dirty clothes everywhere on the floor, so it was good to clean up a bit and change the sheets. I don't know why, but I just felt some energy after doing it, and decided I was ready to look for a job again, and I decided then and there that I am prepared to work a labour job as well, and I figured it would be easier to get a job as a labourer than in retail. So I go online and search, and there are tons of jobs but almost every single labour job requires experience of some kind or another. The only labour job available that required no experience in my area was Mover. And I'm definately not cut out to be a mover. I'm clumsy and I'm not a heavy lifter. In the end, I still applied for three different jobs. Target, Officeworks and although I really didn't want too, I applied at KFC as well.

I also briefly asked my gf about how she would feel if we rented out, but she didn't really like the idea, and tbh I don't like it either. I find it really difficult to trust people, and letting someone that I don't really know at all live in my house is freaky. But she said if we do let someone rent, then it can't be a girl, and she would get to have the final decision on who rents. To be honest, that doesn't bother me, I feel overwhelmed with everything and if she wanted to take over with that, I don't care. It's also tricky, because I live a fair distance away from the CBD, and I think it's important to a lot of renters to live near it. I haven't worked out prices or anything, but if in 2 or 3 months I still haven't got a job, I will work something out price wise.


I graduated from High School. I have thought about going into a college course, but there aren't really any courses I am interested in doing, apart from maybe something like music performance. And as of right now, I have decided to get a job, and am actively trying to make that happen.


I have no idea if I would get accepted onto the DSP or not. I know that depression is a reason to get on it, but I think a bunch of doctors have to sign off to say I need it, and they may say I'm not eligible for it. I really don't know how it fully works, but I am not putting all my hope into it. Talking direct finances makes me uncomfortable but my gf gets under $550 a fortnight with her DSP, so it's really not that much at all, and long term it's just not enough, even if both of us were on it, so it's definately not a long term goal, or even a short term one, really.


I want to be able to go to a job where I am with people I can get along with, that has decent pay, hours that aren't overly demanding. More than anything, I want some stability, and be able to eat in the afternoon without feeling like I am going to vomit, and have the energy to hit the gym and just go about a day, and go back to the times where my gf and I actually went out to dinner, and to movies and to bars, and had fun rather than just lay in bed all day. And in the process, no more nightmares and/or panic attacks. If I had all of that, I would be happy.

I can't help but think that renting out would be a nightmare for your relationship. She doesn't want a girl because she doesn't trust herself to not be a jealous nutjob, and you had better avoid a guy because well, I just see that being bad for you.

Right, same as every day.

Not weird, that's completely normal. I imagine most of the attendees to hers would be there to make sure she was really dead rather than to mourn.

Those are excuses, not reasons. But at least you applied for something, it's a step in the right direction.

Way to put your foot down, tiger. You own a house, not your girlfriend. If she has the final say that's a good as saying that you won't have a renter, because she wants you to herself (which she's pretty much accomplished already).

A hermaphrodite it is than!

Mike, do you live in Melbourne?

Renting to a man would almost certainly lead to her manipulating the guy against you (98+% probability) and sleeping with him (75+% probability). I'm not kidding.

Also, I worked as a mover for four years when I was in college. I am not at all athletic or anything. I'm 6'2" and 180 pounds. No big deal. Working as a mover might actually be a pretty good job for you. You're outside a lot of the time and get tons of exercise. Also, you really feel like you've done something with your day. I would thing again about it. Also, there's often tons of overtime during the summer.

This is getting really hard to read. I may stop. Jesus.

Glad you were able to come up with this list. I think you can break it up into steps to getting to these goals, where it's not overwhelming for you. Break it up into what steps are needed for each goal, what you feel you can do the easiest, and focus on that. When something gets in the way of those goals, try to make a note of it and see what can be overcome.

I think you can get to those goals. However, I'm not sure it can be done with your girlfriend. She seems to always be actively sabotaging this. I want you to put yourself in the eyes of a loving girlfriend, who has a depressed boyfriend, who wants help. What kind of behaviors would she show if she loved and cared about you? Would she be supporting you or tearing down your attempt to reach your goals? This will be a hard step, but you need to push on even when it upsets her, because you need to be happy. You cannot be a good boyfriend if you are unhappy. She will either make things worse (in which case your choice becomes more obvious), or she will deal with it and you'll get yourself in a better spot and be in a better spot with her. You need to be open to the idea that this might not work out if you want to be happy, and she has the freedom to choose to be supportive of your changes or resist them. You must persevere.

I think you should apply for some of the laborer jobs that even require experience. You don't know what can happen, and view it as something you might not get but you might get lucky. Anything good that happens is a bonus. Worst case, you get interview experience and you won't be as nervous in the future.

Working out is probably a good first step. It will make you feel better and give you energy to handle other issues. You don't need to join a gym or anything, just make some goals related to working out, set up a plan, and commit to that. Everything with that is entirely in your control. Post on H&F if you need to. It absolutely will make everything else easier. The way you are feeling, virtually ANY activity on a regular basis will be helpful, so whatever you find most enjoyable, whether its swimming or lifting weights or running, would be beneficial. Find something and commit to it, keep logs, and force yourself to do it. And don't let your gf stop you. There is no good reason for her to stop you working out 30 minutes a day.

Primary goal right now should be getting OP to spend more time out of bed than in it.

The trick is figuring out how to do that since gf is undoubtedly using sex and attention to keep him in bed. We could spend some time discussing why that is, but OP would deny it and defend gf's motives.

I think I've said it before, but it is long past the time that OP should do more work in helping himself than posters in this thread are doing.

OP did seem to discover that he feels better when he gets out of bed and actually does something. He needs to build on that, but I'm not holding my breath.

Since I think you are in Melbourne.

It took me 30 seconds to find a job you could apply for.

http://www.seek.com.au/job/26494561

Unskilled warehouse job. Just requires a good work ethic.

The past couple of days have been a lot better, both my gf and I have gotten up earlier, and I convinced her to come jogging with me. I felt exhausted pretty quickly, but it made me want to get back into shape, we also went to the supermarket and got some stuff other than beer and cigarettes, so we have alternatives to Pizza or Subway, and just doing those little things have put us both in a much more positive mindset.

Yes.

I truly do not believe that she would cheat on me. You can all say what you want about how maybe she doesn't want me to get better, but I know that she definately doesn't want me getting worse, and I think she knows that if she cheated on me, then that would probably kill me. She's a good person. She's not deliberately spiteful, and I just don't believe she would do that to me after everything we have gone through together.



Thanks a lot for the link, man. But I live a while away from the Northern Suburbs, and am mainly looking local. I appreciate the suggestion though.

You need to WAKE UP! People with Borderline Personality Disorder are NOT FIXABLE. They are evil. I have seen the horror with my own eyes and have a pretty good sense of recognizing "sufferer's" of this nasty disorder. YOU NEED TO GET THIS CHICK OUT OF YOUR LIFE ASAP & CHANGE THE LOCKS AND YOUR PHONE #. I AM VERY SERIOUS.

Define "good person" Agent Scarn.

This is the best thing you have done in a couple of months. Seriously. Keep doing this and you will find that other things will come easier.

Which side of Melbourne? My point was to illustrate there are plenty of unskilled jobs around, if you are willing to look for them.

If you tell me which side of Melbourne, I will find some more, I challenge you not to find an excuse not to apply.

You have no idea, I can tell you that she's not evil at all. I hate it when people lump everyone with a certain disorder as all the same. It's like when I read that people with depression choose to be that way and that we're selfish and/or lazy. It's not true. Unless you have experienced it yourself, then you can't comprehend what it feels like on the worst days, and it's the same with BPD, so we both do our best to understand and support each other, because we both know that most people don't get it, and we'll both be written off as bad people, even though neither of us have ever hurt anyone. It's not fair, but that is what a lot of people will believe, because people love to make sweeping generalisations, and you're proof of that.


Someone that is honest and caring, and doesn't mean harm, or intentionally set out to hurt or upset anyone.

Alright then. I live in the Eastern Suburbs.

Ok then. If we asked the 10 people who knew her best (yourself included) how many do you think would offer a similar opinion.

Two agencies looking for unskilled labour.

http://www.seek.com.au/job/26516943

http://www.seek.com.au/job/26510735

Both found under the search on SEEK, below

http://www.seek.com.au/jobs-in-trade...rchType=browse

Food packing factory.

http://www.seek.com.au/job/26515636

Warehouse job.

http://www.seek.com.au/job/26513766

Container unloading

http://www.seek.com.au/job/26510011

General labourer in what sounds like a factory of some sort. Clearly states no experience required.

http://www.seek.com.au/job/26506059

There's 145 hits on this search. And 25% are so don't require any experience.

http://www.seek.com.au/jobs-in-manuf...ck&searchType=

Do you really not understand how crazy this is?

Also, what dalerobk2 said.