OP is a great co-dependent.

Just another way she's stamping her symbol of ownership on you.

Thread continues to deliver.

He's at a therapist but he doesn't need therapy, he needs to be persuaded to leave the girl if it's clear that she has BPD, it's penetrating their relationship, she appears not to be improving and he lacks the resources to cope with the sequelae. How else do you think this whole situation is going to pan out? He keeps showing up at the therapist for tears and talks and hugs, while the downward cycle of violence and emotional abuse is progressing on the outside? Always the easy option for the 'therapist', and always what the loved up 'victim' wants to hear.
It's like going into A&E with a gunshot wound and being offered a haircut and manicure because 'getting sorted takes time'.
If you think anyone in his situation needs any long advice sessions before being persuaded in clear and unequivocal terms to be getting out, then I suggest you've never experienced BPD head-on. I did think the guy was well into therapy, turns out this was the first one, fair enough, but I'm pretty sure this pattern will continue.

You might as well go ahead and get "BPD-W" tatooed on your forehead and be done with it.

vorvzakone,

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: people who have emotional issues that prevent them from doing something that others do easily should seek therapy if they need to break out of negative patterns.

Also, no one is going to convince the guy that he should break up with her. A therapist you're seeing for the first time has absolutely 0% chance of convincing him to do so.

This guy knows what he's talking about.

Seriously OP if you listen to no one else at least listen to Clark. Every post of his ITT has been dead on.

We need to forget trying to help and instead focus our efforts on a betting pool where we predict where this goes.

Eyebrow Pierced by end of year: +150

Penis cut off by end of 2015: +2000

Some Physical Injury to OP caused by BPD by 2015: -200

I still like my OP in hospital, jail or morgue by end of 2014 +750

Physical injury to OP -200 is lock of the week.

OP is not going to get hurt (physically). He's going to increasingly realize that it is, in fact, his life's mission to take care of her. He will cater to her every need and stop being an autonomous individual. He will eventually come to enjoy this. Once he becomes entirely an extension of herself, there will be no need for her to harm him. He will literally do everything she wants. She will still have rages, but she won't hurt him (physically).

Don't agree with any of this based on my experience of 15+ years. Probably not wise to speak in such absolutes either with this stuff.

If getting hit with a plate isn't getting hurt, I don't know what is.

I wasn't really being serious.

Can you elaborate? Genuinely curious.

I'm not clark, but its part of the condition. Body dysmorphia and extreme appearance is a sign that the illness is spiraling further. She is getting worse, not better.

Meh, BPDs are susceptible to impulsive behavior. Could just be that.

This.

thought i recognized OPs name from a diff thread where he was accused of trolling

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/34...-kids-1334052/


is there an office episode where jan throws a plate at michael?

I don't think he's trolling, but remembering that thread it looks like he's found exactly what he was looking for.

Lol karma is great.

Why though? I haven't seen her this happy since I first met her. And I should add that it wasn't like she said I should get an eyebrow piercing out of the blue. It was something I have said to her that I have wanted to get and have been considering it for a while.


Synonyms of Lunatic:

- Maniac - Madwoman -Psychopath -Psychotic

I don't see her as any of those things. When you think Maniac, you think serial killer, not someone with BPD. I really don't see Lunatic as a fair word to describe her at all.

And it is all real, if it's not, then she should move to Hollywood, because she will be an Oscar Winner by 2015.



Yes, the last 3 weeks has given me a much clearer picture of what I am getting into, and it's a lot heavier than I was expecting, and I have questioned why I am hanging around, and if this all worth it, and if I should just end it, but the positives in the relationship, like just last night, she wanted to smoke, and we got high in bed together while I watched her play Assassin's Creed IV, then we listened to some tunes and we were laughing and having an amazing time, and then she fell asleep on my chest. Times like last night just make it all worth it to me... I mean it's 6PM right now the next day, and I am still feeling good from last night, and if you guys felt how I felt just 6 months ago, you would understand why I need times like last night so badly.

With that said, this Monday I am going to tell her that I just need two nights a week to grind, and I don't know how she will take it, but like a lot of you said "It's your house", and I know I need to set this boundary, and I think it will be good for me as well, so I can spend those days focusing in on my job, rather than pretty much 24/7 on my gf? I think it will also be good for her, so neither of us become overly dependent on each other






Everything there was legit, although tbh I was exaggerating about the vasectomy. I wanted to get it done at 18. I did find a doctor that was willing to do it. But like almost everything else in my life, I didn't build up the courage to go through with it and backed out the day before the operation. I always told myself I would do it soon though, and after I was cheated on twice in 12 months, I used to tell every girl I dated by the third or fourth date that I was snipped, just to see their reaction, and if it was positive, I promised myself to get it done by the end of that month. My way of thinking was, that if she could accept that, then she obviously was someone that truly accepted me for me and that she wouldn't cheat on me. Looking back on it now, I realise how weird, stupid and messed up that was. It was like I was sabotaging myself deliberately in hindsight,

And you are thinking of the dinner party where Jan throws a Dundy at Michael's 8 inch "Plasma" TV. Lol.

no dude--she's not getting 'better'. get used to stuff like this...it will keep happening in all sorts of zany and unpredictable ways.

+1

I have a 200 page 15 year journal documenting ex-Mrs RD's (undiagnosed) BPD.

The day I made the diagnosis, realized it would never get better, and decided that giving her as much of my money and our stuff as possible to get out of my marriage was the best day of my life. I am the happiest divorced man to ever have lived.

I'll read the rest of the thread now. But OP, get out. Get out now and don't look back.

Wait this is the same guy????

ROFL

hey OP, (and lol 20...)

let me guess? this chic has told you she doesn't want kids? loves the vasectomy!!! quick prediction..if she really is BPD...after she runs rough-shod over you for a couple or few years in ways that will leave you thinking(and most likely beaten and tons of your things destroyed) you're in the twilight zone all too often she'll say you guessed it!! she wants kids!!1 what girl doesn't after all!!! even after the 'relationship' is broken beyond all repair she'll still try to get you to reverse it--to prove you really!!1 love her LDO..no matter what!! everything(her whole life before and with you) will all be your fault somehow.

I never even told her anything about vasectomies. I brought up the question of kids-(subtlely), and she didn't just agree that she didn't want them, she said that the whole idea of pregnancy "scared her". If she was just saying it to emulate what I was saying, then she wouldn't have added that it scared her IMO.