Quote:
Originally Posted by MurderbyNumbers234
Had a GF v v similar to your description, not sure if full blown borderline, but may have been. Was a very great girl, passionate wild relationship, great sex and a lot of love.
I really didn't want to ever end it but eventually I had to. I'm not perfect either, but after so many "episodes" (again not sure if she was BDPD, but def had episodes of totally overwhelming anger etc., suicide, violent threats, then totally back to normal. Def not normal chick stuff at all) it just feels like you don't matter. Even if its great 95% of the time, having someone threaten you, or be unbelievably mean time and time again only to come back crying is just mind boggling and too emotionally confusing.
Even still, I can't judge your relationship, so you should decide for yourself (this discussion is helpful but you need to fig it out for yourself) if you think you can deal with this long term. It's not easy,it will be harder than you can imagine, my sister also suffers from probably the most debilitating mental illness there is (sz), and its a life long process. But I think the best advice one can have in a romantic relationship is to trust their instincts.
And, know that with treatment and therapy, things CAN get better. Just don't assume it will happen immediately. But this is a crucial part of mental illness that alot of people don't understand or have the patience to accept.
Then if that is what you want, my advice is to try to do everything you can to make it work. In a real adult relationship you need to give the other person everything you have, make them your world. You sound like a great dude tbh. So do your best to make her feel safe with you, safety is the most important thing for someone like this, and try and keep her in loving control. You are the man and it's kind of your job. But don't feel like you have failed if in the end, you just can't put up with it.
Also, a huge regret of mine was not seeing a therapist w her or asking her more specifically about her issues. (even a few mo into a relationship, but w/e it can be helfpul).
One of the best posts itt.
OP, keep in mind that 5% of the time is an average of more than an hour a day of intense drama. Also, consider that your gf is currently undergoing counseling and is taking medication. Those things may well be helping her, and this may be as good as it gets.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SGT RJ
I don't know if this is true or not, but it's not a bad description.
I think that's correct. At the time the concept of the diagnosis was initiated, those were the two primary categories of disorders and BPD fit neither but did not seem to fit within the then-current concept of personality disorders either.