I'll give you a couple examples of what I'm talking about/suffering from:

(1) A few weeks ago on a public bus there was some schizo who was moving around the front of the bus, aggressively getting in people's space, basically acting like an unhinged psycho on bath salts or something. So all these coward passengers in the front, just got up and crowded to the back of the bus. The driver was some petite woman who wasn't going to do anything physical, or anything soon. I wanted to take control of the situation--tell the schizo to get off the bus or I'm throwing them off, but I couldn't. I was so jittery with adrenaline that I needed to get off the bus at the next stop because I was afraid I would have a panic attack or something.

(2) I just got a call on the phone from some creditor (****ing CenturyLink total bull****--don't get me started), and instantly I get that jittery adrenaline feeling, and even twenty seconds after I've told them to **** off and never call me again and hung up the phone, my heart rate is still at like 150 bpm.

(3) I've played thousands of hours of live poker. I feel zero rush or intimidation from it. But if I were to go to a casino right now and sit down at a table, for the first five or ten minutes I'm all shivery with adrenaline, sweat rolling down my torso. My body insists on this fight/flight response.

I can foresee myself dying of a heart attack at like forty while I'm telling some neighbor to not run their belt sander at midnight or some stupid trivial "confrontation" like that. How do I stop my body from acting like a total ***** in these situations?

Smoke Weed.

Hahaha came to post exactly that

Beta Blockers

Continue to overreact if that's what feels right to you. Someone will maim or kill you eventually to put you out of your misery.

You also could try therapy and meditation.

I'm physically responsive too but lawyers have the privilege of safety in most official kerfuffles. Taking a moment and saying less always better than too much.

Poker start throwing out fake tells and shakes. I do. Works great.

Don't fight hobos they have less to lose than you.

Generally in all situations think "who the **** do you think you are" and embody a sneer. With deep breaths and attitude you'll be fine.

I mean, it just comes with practice I think. Maybe it's innate a little too - being able to deal with these situations.

For me my rage just takes over and I can think pretty quickly on my feet. I take advantage of the fact that most people (barring the extreme crazies, I don't tussle with them) get extremely flustered in confrontations as well.

In physically dangerous situations, which I have been in several times, I used to experience the shaking and adrenaline you describe. Luckily it didn't freeze me up (I couldn't afford it to) but after many, many times of exposure to this type of thing, you build kind of a "tolerance" to it - I can't really describe it.

There is very real fear inside, but my body does not react. I feel a jolt, I feel my heart start to race, but outwardly there is nothing. And then whatever I've been trained to do or rehearsed in my mind a thousand times takes over.

I think it's just a practice kind of a thing. But unless you're a bouncer or in some dangerous profession like a policeman, you shouldn't be getting into these situations with any type of frequency.

Do neuroplastic training to rewire you brain. Affirmation and meditation are your friend, or you can do what post #2 & 4 says and do drugs. Personally I say start a heroin addiction, it's great for the flight or fight response, instead of freaking out you can get your nod on.

In the last few days I got into two road rage incidents. Both with overweight white women in their 30s. I could have burned this yellow light but I waited for this lady to pull up so I could say something to her for blocking traffic. She was literally eating cookies when she pulled up to the light. Her excuse for holding up everyone on road she thinks the speed limit is 35. I drive the road everyday and am aware of the speed changes because I been caught in speed traps on this road. Its 45 might even be 50, second its not your job to enforce the speed limit Mrs. fields.

Today this lady just pulls onto the road with no disregard for oncoming traffic. I have to brake switch lanes and pass her. I blast the horn while I pass her. She decides shes so offended she starts following me and cackling and laughing. When she finally got my attention she points and laughs. I decide to start following her. Her entire demeanor changed. She rolled up her windows and jumped on her phone. When I felt she properly shook I stopped following her went on about my day.

Be glad you are not acting on ****. These encounters are transfer for things that are happening to me in my personal life. My frustrations with fickle people changing their minds on a whim has left me not giving a ****. Im still waiting for you to change your minds again. I want one of these 9-5 *******s to get froggish so I can beat this **** out of someone and call it self defense.

Smoke less weed

FWIW you are more likely to have a heart attack if you try to bottle this stuff up rather than embrace your bodies natural adrenaline response.

That seems like a mature response.

Do exposure therapy. Watch rage/adrenaline inducing videos and practice what you'd do/say. Those police videos where cops violate the 1st/4th amendment can usually get me going.

Just to be clear Im not trying to fight women. Baiting some idiot dude into throwing a punch is something that happens. I want something to happen. I want to find out I have cancer. Im just done. Let me just be the example so you dont do this to the next mother****er

OP,

Cognitive behavioral therapy via your local MMA gym.

a good night's rest reduces anxiety for me

According to who?
Never heard of that before.

Affirmations in the mirror.

A good first step is not being a macho *******.

We're all scared. You hid in that bus because you think there's still hope. But somigosaden, the only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a bad ass is supposed to function. Without mercy, without compassion, without remorse.

r/iamverybadass

Lieutenant Speirs!

OP here. Don't get the impression that I'm wishing I could be more of a badass or engage in macho exploits. I just want to not have my heart pound and body shake when I receive a phone call from the government or I'm put in a situation where I have to be assertive with a stranger.

What I was most anticipating when making this thread was accounts of exposure training. But is there evidence it's effective (watching videos in particular)? I remember the first time I watched this video, I had to pause it and take a break because I felt so jittery. It still gets my heart racing imagining being locked in a bathroom with two bouncers who may very plausibly decide to beat you into permanent ******ation. (Action starts at about 5:45, the minutes prior are the bouncer making him empty his pockets and looking through his phone messages to try to find evidence he was dealing drugs in the club.)



Is watching a couple videos like this every day actually going to make a difference when someone knocks on my door?

With exposure therapy you need to start with something more manageable. Like if your anxiety while watching that video is 8/10, it's not going to help. You need to start with something that's like a 4, and then when it only causes you a 2, move on to the next level.

To do it properly, you'd construct an exposure fear hierarchy, in which feared situations are ranked according to the distress they cause, and then start with mildly or moderately difficult exposures, and progress to harder ones once you can handle the milder stuff.

OP,

I can very much relate to what youre saying. I don't get in these situations often at all though. I used to feel that way at the start of every live poker session too, but not for a long time.


That said I dont have any "fight" in me. Physical confrontation, that is. All I wish for is a razor sharp tongue to quickly and eloquently say some crushing ****.

Have you tried talking with a counselor or maybe yoga