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Boss is Mind ****ing Me Boss is Mind ****ing Me

07-09-2014 , 05:22 AM
New job duh
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07-09-2014 , 05:34 AM
Give it a week and see if you're still feeling emotional. Your boss probably talks highly of you behind your back.
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07-09-2014 , 06:45 AM
Flip a coin. When you're about to flip it, reveal the spoiler.

Spoiler:

Right before you flip the coin, you will often find yourself rooting for it to land one way. In that case, you no longer need the coin.

If you really and truly think the arguments for both sides are of totally equal weight, pros and cons perfectly counterbalancing each other, then flipping a coin is as good a method as any to choose, because your estimates of the worthiness of each option are EXACTLY equal. I don't think you will find this to be the case often though...going through this process has a way of allowing you to see when inertia is holding you back from what you really want to do.

This exercise sounds silly, but I have found it helpful.
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07-09-2014 , 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime
I took off the next day, and he went through my computer. When I came back he asked what my decision was going to be---to quit or not. So I decided to tell him that the company I interviewed with is making me an offer about 36% above what I currently make. He then told me that he wanted me to stay, and was trying to discredit the new company (despite not knowing anything about them). He was suggesting that they were only paying so much because it was probably “contract money”, and that the job wouldn’t be long term. Just had a meeting with him today, and he asked if I had made my decision---he started talking my current company up saying that it’s projected to grow, I have stability there, and that he “knows I will make the right decision.”
Is the bolded part your current boss? Or your new potential boss saying your current company is good?

Also when you said your boss was talking crap about the new company without knowing anything about them, that's a smoking gun that he's a liar and should not be trusted.

You're mind**cking yourself IYAM
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07-09-2014 , 07:27 AM
so you told your 'boss' that the competition offered a 36% raise and he countered with...BS? (ya there's the possibility he thinks you're awesome and all that other stuff was..is this a movie?/)
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07-09-2014 , 07:30 AM
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Originally Posted by ninetynine99
You're a woman engineer working in a male-dominated industry. You'll get stimulated all right.

In fact, could be that your boss has been softening you up for some stimulation.
He's been neg hitting her to make her sexually interested in him, ldo.
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07-09-2014 , 07:49 AM
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Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime
Because I like everything else about the company. The jobs at the current company are a lot more complex. At the new company they're simpler. I'm worried they won't be as stimulating and I'll get bored.
You shouldn't be evaluating either job as if they are the only place where you'll work for the rest of your career. Take the new job, and if it bores you tremendously move on in another couple of years (to likely another sizable raise). The idea that job hopping a bit is bad for a resume is completely antiquated, if anything in today's economy it is viewed as a positive because it widens your experience and shows that you're motivated and capable. Companies still like to pretend that it is the 50s and you should stay with them for 20+ years, except without providing additional career incentive. You move up by moving out.

There's really no play at your current company. Even if your boss matched the other offer, in his mind you'll always be "that bitch that strong-armed me into more pay than she was worth." Things will get worse, not better.
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07-09-2014 , 08:04 AM
Just take the new job. The only thing holding you back is your inner wimp and natural resistance to change and getting out of your comfort zone that is leading you to come up with the other reasons. Even if things get better with your current boss, the bad performance reviews will be in your file as long as your with the company and will affect your career trajectory.

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Originally Posted by Swwiinn
Have a respectful, but frank conversation with your boss explaining your concerns with your current job. Some managers tend to smash the employees that they think are most productive when being grilled, and ease up on the ones they feel will respond better to tact.

If he's had a history of treating you like this, but in return you've simply worked harder to try and gain his approval, he's going to continue doing it because it's what makes you work hardest.

Explain you're not willing to put up with it anymore, and I'd go with Villain's advice of 'raise for value.' Demand a large raise - he'll either tell you to get ****ed on the spot (this is a win, because it makes your decision easier) or he'll counter with a match for the new jobs salary.

Either way, if you do decide to stay with your current job, you need to change the conditions under which you're currently working, or you'll just end up grinding yourself into misery.
Whatever you do, don't do this. The new offer will go to someone else, your leverage will be gone, and this psycho will not hold up his end of whatever you bargain and will not forget either.
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07-09-2014 , 08:04 AM
Such an easy 'switch jobs and start looking for something better' decision. Sounds horrible working at your current job.
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07-09-2014 , 08:58 AM
Given that the new job is already set, this is a complete no brainer. The only reason to stay is if you enjoy being abused.
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07-09-2014 , 09:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Cry Me A River
Given that the new job is already set, this is a complete no brainer. The only reason to stay is if you enjoy being abused.
100% this.
Never take a counter unless they plan to guarantee in a contract and even then...

He will sell you the moon and stars if it keeps you over the next month plus while they find your replacement and then promptly fire you for all the ****ty points hes already previously told you about in your review. Once you put in your 2 weeks or say your leaving, you better damn well leave.

Employers are the least loyal people in the world no matter how good you think it is or they treat you, the day comes to fire you they wont hesitate to save there own skin, you shouldn't either.

Take the mentality that this is all a business, hiring, firing, change over, moving up all that is into play don't ever let someone get to you personally. Once you feel they got a hook into you, get out fast.
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07-09-2014 , 09:54 AM
The art of mind****ing
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07-09-2014 , 10:03 AM
Your boss is worried you will take his job. Ideally you would start golfing/drinking with his boss but maybe a meeting and a few pages of areas where you have excelled or even just another job offer on the table works too
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07-09-2014 , 10:33 AM
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he is always getting on me for simple mistakes while treating the other PEs like children when they make major mistakes
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I took off the next day, and he went through my computer.
These two points alone should make your decision a no brainer. As alobar said, if you're going to value the quality of work over the abusive and unfair treatment that you are subjected to then there is not much of a point to this thread.
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07-09-2014 , 10:45 AM
I would get the **** out.

Guy is a horrible boss and very abusive. Worst case, go to the new place see if it sucks but even if it does you have a new pay bar and leave for greener pastures. I'm not sure I would stay even if they matched due to the horribad boss. Even if he/she says he/she'll change, I doubt he/she will.
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07-09-2014 , 10:50 AM
Go to the new opportunity, ainec. No matter how much your like the people there, the current environment/relationship with your boss that you described seems pretty bleak. He's capable of mfing you even more. Don't try to justify staying there for superfluous reasons.
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07-09-2014 , 10:56 AM
Just go over his head and build trust. (And look for other opportunities as well)
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07-09-2014 , 12:05 PM
Odds the boss lowballs all his people to argue for a larger raise for himself? I mean he must look like a god getting a bunch of dumdums to produce!
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07-09-2014 , 12:23 PM
Looks like OP is a lock to stay in the current job.
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07-09-2014 , 12:43 PM
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Cliffs: Boss gives me minimum raises, bonuses, etc. Gives me a bad evaluation, says I have poor work quality, but when he finds out I may be leaving tries to get me to stay.
That's just so you won't scream sexism when everyone else is earning more. It's also possible that he's a PUA and this is his way of negging you.

Seriously though, this is a snap quit. Things aren't going to magically improve even if he gives you a raise.
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07-09-2014 , 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by rugby

Does the bosses evaluation of you have any merit? Not in comparison to other engineers, but in terms of your actual work.

If i was managing someone, and their response to "you made some mistakes and you didnt do well on our knowledge test" was to point to someone doing worse I wouldnt be too happy.

The evaluation is a determination of what your raise will be. One score less than 3 and you don't get a raise.

I pointed out that someone did worse than me because that guy got double the raise and bonus that I received.
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07-09-2014 , 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Banned4lyfe
It's also possible that he's a PUA and this is his way of negging you.
This could be a possibility---every time I walk into his office his hand goes straight to his crotch...EVERY TIME
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07-09-2014 , 01:35 PM
What? Thats not normal, surely?
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07-09-2014 , 05:39 PM
Trolloooooooooo
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07-09-2014 , 05:59 PM
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Originally Posted by runout_mick
I can't imagine working for someone like this. Walk away and tell him "Suck my dick." on the way out.

Change is almost always beneficial, and it seems that your potential for advancement at the current employer is almost nil. Seems like a no-brainer.
This. There is no need to work in a hostile environment, especially in your trade.
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