I’ve been working at an Engineering Firm for 2 years, and recently received my first raise in April. I talked to some friends at the company (I am a Project Engineer, they are Mechanical Engineers under me) and they got the same percentage raise as me, the minimum 4%. When we received bonuses at the end of last year it was the same case, I got the minimum while another Project Engineer received double the amount of my bonus. The projects are kind of broken down into small, medium, large dollar values---simple to complex. I am the PE for the most expensive and complex projects.

Every week I have a meeting with my boss to go over project progress. During the last few months of these meetings my boss has been hammering me about improving my work and insinuating that I will be replaced; he is always getting on me for simple mistakes while treating the other PEs like children when they make major mistakes. Another PE made a huge mistake on one of his projects last month, so our boss decided to administer a test during our meetings to see what each of us knew. I made a few simple mistakes---misreading some tables while the other PEs didn’t even know where to begin on the test. My boss yelled at me pretty bad for my mistakes on the test, and said I was bringing down the quality of the engineering department even though it was not my project nor my mistake that cost the company a lot of $$$. I have had only one major mistake on a job since I’ve worked there.

This meeting led me to think about finding other employment; I updated my Linked In profile and a recruiter called me for a job the following week for a Project Manager position. I interviewed for the position last week during lunch before my weekly meeting with my boss. During this meeting my boss gave me a preliminary evaluation for a raise review in Sept. Score range was 1 to 5 with about 15 categories. He ranked me 1-2 in all categories, and said that I would not be receiving a raise. This really pissed me off, and I literally yelled at him and told him it was bull****.

I took off the next day, and he went through my computer. When I came back he asked what my decision was going to be---to quit or not. So I decided to tell him that the company I interviewed with is making me an offer about 36% above what I currently make. He then told me that he wanted me to stay, and was trying to discredit the new company (despite not knowing anything about them). He was suggesting that they were only paying so much because it was probably “contract money”, and that the job wouldn’t be long term. Just had a meeting with him today, and he asked if I had made my decision---he started talking my current company up saying that it’s projected to grow, I have stability there, and that he “knows I will make the right decision.”

My perception is that he wanted me to quit, but now he is trying to convince me to stay---totally mind ****ed right now. Why would he evaluate me so poorly and give me minimum raises and bonuses if he actually wants me there? Should I take the other offer?

Aside: I really enjoy my current job and like the company


Cliffs: Boss gives me minimum raises, bonuses, etc. Gives me a bad evaluation, says I have poor work quality, but when he finds out I may be leaving tries to get me to stay.

pics ldo

Never tell them you're going to **** them. Just **** them.

I can't imagine working for someone like this. Walk away and tell him "Suck my dick." on the way out.

Change is almost always beneficial, and it seems that your potential for advancement at the current employer is almost nil. Seems like a no-brainer.

I hope to God this firm isn't building skyscrapers, or aircraft, or, well anything more than small appliances, I guess.

I was kinda thinking he might counter offer

He's giving you ****ty raises because he knows you're gonna sit there and take it

Those are just the mistakes they caught, you really gotta worry about the ones nobody noticed.

Highly explosive fuel gas skids Offshore-so you will be okay

Ah, one of those "teaching" threads. These are my favorite.

Leave, make it clear to HIS boss that you believe you have been treated unfairly.

Plot twist, boss is

how ist tht even open for debate.
you go tell your boss he can either match the offer or find someone else.
actually if i felled screwed by him and i would feel screwed by him based on your description of events i might not even give him that chance.

how is this even a close decision? Why would you want to work for some ******* whos never going to promote you and just berates you. Leave

Because I like everything else about the company. The jobs at the current company are a lot more complex. At the new company they're simpler. I'm worried they won't be as stimulating and I'll get bored.

You're a woman engineer working in a male-dominated industry. You'll get stimulated all right.

In fact, could be that your boss has been softening you up for some stimulation.

More money and a boss that isn't an *******? Obv take the new job.

Do you feel comfortable working with the boss?

Boss makes it exactly clear what you need to do to make more money. That puts this job in the top 1%, making you a 1%'er by default.

It sounds like you have a valuable skill as well, if in 2 years you have people doing your busy work, and your boss desires you to stay despite scoring low on evals. If you don't fully understand this "skill" i.e. how to make money off of it on your own, you should probably stick around.

Kinda odd.

If youd rather make less money in a negative environment with long term financial -EV in order to be stimulated by the work, then go for it. But thats a personal decision only you can make, so it kinda makes this thread pointless no?

Have a respectful, but frank conversation with your boss explaining your concerns with your current job. Some managers tend to smash the employees that they think are most productive when being grilled, and ease up on the ones they feel will respond better to tact.

If he's had a history of treating you like this, but in return you've simply worked harder to try and gain his approval, he's going to continue doing it because it's what makes you work hardest.

Explain you're not willing to put up with it anymore, and I'd go with Villain's advice of 'raise for value.' Demand a large raise - he'll either tell you to get ****ed on the spot (this is a win, because it makes your decision easier) or he'll counter with a match for the new jobs salary.

Either way, if you do decide to stay with your current job, you need to change the conditions under which you're currently working, or you'll just end up grinding yourself into misery.

mind**** him back ldo

He's trying to control you. He didn't consider that you might leave because he thinks you're weak, but you called his bluff. Now he's trying to backtrack and still keep the power by putting the pressure of the decision on you.

Questions like "So what's your decision" give him the power. He's putting you on the spot making you second guess leaving. He doesn't want you to leave, but he doesn't want you think you're valuable either, because then he loses the power (over a woman no less).

If you do leave, he can tell himself (and others) "She didn't fit in here anyway, she couldn't handle the pressures I put on her to perform". He gets to keep the power. If you stay and he gives you nothing additional, he keeps the power. You can't win unless he caves to your demands. He's a horrible manager with an inferiority complex.

If you lined up the other job, stand your ground and negotiate. GL!

Did the other company actually offer you a job? That wasnt entirely explicit in your OP.

Does the bosses evaluation of you have any merit? Not in comparison to other engineers, but in terms of your actual work.

If i was managing someone, and their response to "you made some mistakes and you didnt do well on our knowledge test" was to point to someone doing worse I wouldnt be too happy.

That said, he sounds like hes being a bit of a douche.

Regarding motives etc, he may not realise how he is making you feel. Most people suck at management, specifically at giving feedback. Most people always underestimate the impact of criticism.

Talk to him, in a very polite way. Talk about how you feel rather than what hes done. Talk about the relationship on a meta level.

I.e. I would like to talk about our working relationship, I feel that we could work better on how we communicate. When you said x, y, and z. This made me feel bad because...

Obv counter to at least match the raise to even consider staying... When he agrees, tell him you would like his parking space as well

I would say something along these lines to your boss:

"I know you have a plan for me, and I know it's legitimately huge. If you'd be willing to clue-me in on it on a level that is more visceral for me, I would be motivated to work harder.

I also understand that the root-reason behind the low eval scores is due to my lack of efficiency as an example. I'm aware of this problem and I'm working on fixing it by keeping focused on the immediate completion, rather than wondering about your intended plan for me."

Obviously this sounds absurd if you just read it to yourself, so don't take it verbatim, but apply the information you're leaving out from the OP re: your job, towards creating a good idea to tell your boss.