This thread is lagging my computer and giving me pop-ups. I'm just gonna say **** you, OP, until it's proven to be something else.

ok, so far, she's upset because it makes her feel inadequate. perhaps its more than that but thats what i'm hearing so far. so i'm not going to call her inadequate, but her sex drive isn't very high. so if i demand more sex, i'm a pervert. there really isn't a clear way out of this that doesn't involve making her feel bad or me not watching any porn whatsoever. or admitting i'm like a tigerwoods peeweeherman porno freak.

i can't believe i'm in this boat all by myself. not in getting caught, i mean, but in the fact you're in a good relationship but still look at porn every once in awhile (don't spend money on it or go to strip clubs/hookers etc).

Ugh, I sympathize with your entire situation.

Shoulda folded preflop.

Adam Carolla said his grandfather told him he used to lie on his back in the grass while staring at the clouds, waiting for a cloud that looked like a woman so he could start masturbating furiously.

Women will never understand that men will constantly have sexual urges that are not always satisfied by their partner, even in very healthy relationships. No, you probably shouldn't have married a woman that's not ok with porn and yes, you are lying about it, which she should be upset about. But not watching porn of any kind for the duration of the marriage is not really practical, and neither is leaving your wife so you can beat off.

Don't be so stupid and lazy about it. You are capable of giving yourself a 99.9% chance of not getting caught.

A lack of sex drive is almost always the result of environment -- what have you done to actually create an environment where she would have an active sex drive?

What kind of a loser hides his porn from his wife?

Oh, I suppose it's the kind who marries someone who minds that her husband looks at porn.

So - what does she say when you say - "Listen - with my sex drive - I'd really like to be having sex __ times a week or so"?

Also - do you have kids? How old are they?

easily saw this coming. definitely not true.

Well you already said you don't help out around the house. How many times a week do you go out as a couple?

I don't fully agree - I think it's closer to equal parts environment, stress and current life situation and past experiences/formative attitudes about sex. Some people are just prudes and only see the utilitarian side of sex, not as something that should be practiced and explored for purely hedonistic reasons.

Here is one way to guarantee you don't see any improvement: "I need to have sex more. How about x times per week?" She has to want it too.

If she feels inadequate because of a low sex drive, then tell her how often she has sex is up to her, but how often you masturbate is up to you. She can't control what you do with your dick, although she has some claim on who you're doing it with. Ask her if the problem is the porn, or the jerking off. If it's the porn, explain that it helps make tugging better/faster/easier/whatever. If it's the jerking off, then tell her it's not ever going to stop, it's just part of the way men are.

Whatever it is, tell her that that stuff has nothing to do with HER, and is only about you.

Then, make sure you take steps to keep it out of her sight. Not hide it, but don't flaunt it in front of her.

Stand up for yourself, but do it in a way that's sensitive to her feelings

EDIT: If she's really upset about the fact that you look at porn, then stop. If it's a certain kind that bothers her, stop that. Or, ask her if she wants to watch it with you. It's entirely possible that she thinks YOU are the one that's less interested in sex, and now she finds out you're not doing her because you're busy whacking it to the internet

I was think more of a situation where sex was more plentiful and has dropped dropped off. People with a purely pragmatic view of sex exist but they feel that way from the get go. To be fair OP didn't say sex dropped off I just assumed it did because otherwise he has no reasonable objection as he knew what he was getting into before being committed.

we do stuff all the time as a couple, and enjoy it.

agree with utilitarian post after yours, some girls just view things differently. everyone has had girlfriends who are sex fiends, some aren't , and you are the same damn guy with them.

Is this the same for Firefox?

EDIT: My friend has firefox and wants to know. I use chrome so I'm not asking for me. It's for my friend - he wants to know. Not me. Him.

In FF, it's Ctrl+Shift+P for private browsing

my wife is this, for sure. i know, shouldn't have married her will say some. sex is important, but not the entire relationship, you can love someone that has a different level of sex drive than you. not a reason to get married (if the same) or not (if it differs).

ctrl + shift + p (for porn)

in b4 wife finds history of this thread

heh, i thought about this... what would piss her off more, finding history of porn or the fact i'm talking about it on a gambling message board (no offense, yes i know poker isn't gambling etc).

also, at least i was watching "normal" porn. not some kind of freakish (or gay) stuff.

There are a few things that are too central to just overlook -- religious views, attitudes toward money, etc.. At the top of that pile as the most important is sexual incompatibility.

i would highly recommend reading through some savage love archives together.

If you have any interest at all in watching porn with your wife, as a fun thing to do as a couple, now is the time to make it happen. If this turns into a heated, bitter argument, your chances will plummet. Turn this altercation into a positive quickly.

For the guys that watch porn with their wife - do you do it because you like sharing the actual content of the porn with her, is it another way to get her in the mood/initiate sex, or is it a way to fantasize about other women without feeling guilty?

Cut out a picture of your wife's face and hold it over the actresses face.

i had an ex that was fine with me jerking it to actual porn (ie people ****ing) but didn't want me to jerk it to pictures of other naked women. i didn't bother to argue with her.