What's a safe bet if I want to buy a table of a) all girls b) mixed guys and girls a round? Assume I know nothing about them. By safe bet I mean that they won't be like "WTF we are supposed to drink this?"

Grunching so this may have been answered, but this is Carousel Bar in the Hotel Monteleone in the French Quarter. They're actually expanding right now.





This bar is hilarious. If there are 4 people in there it feels crowded, just epically tiny. My apartment is about 5 minutes from here.

I would bitch slap any man that ordered a ****ing old fashioned in front of me.

Seriously, A ****ING OLD FASHIONED?

Buttery Nipple. Duh.

How to order a drink in a bar.

A few people have asked how to get served quickly in a crowded bar. Nobody has really covered this yet, so I'll dive in. But first, some lessons on how to actually order a drink.

1. Know what it is you want. Don't be the class A moron who does everything in their power to get your attention in a bar that is stacked 5 deep and then when you finally ask them what they want they have to ask their friends standing behind them. Don't be this guy. Actually, I don't mind this guy sometimes as it's awesome to see the look on their face when they turn back and you're serving someone else.

2. Have your money ready. In your hand. To give to me. Do not stick the money in my face when I am putting your drinks in front of you. I cannot put down 4 drinks and take your money out of your hand at the same time, this is physically impossible. Have a large denomination note, which leads on to my next point ...

3. If you have a large number of drinks in your order, do not, do not, do not for the love of god ask me how much it is. I don't have time to add up 7 different figures in my head with the whole bar screaming at me for service, and then watch while you root around in your wallet for some money, while trying to chat up the girl standing next to you. Just give me the money because you're going to have to give it to me anyway you moron.

4. Pay attention. There's nothing to beat a douchebag who does everything in his power to get you to serve him, waving his arms, jumping up and down, going with the long drawn out sighs, and then when he finally gets served turns his back on you and starts talking with his mates standing behind him because he is so cool now he's going to make the bartender reach over the bar and have to actually tap him on the shoulder to get him to pay for his drinks.

So for those of you wandering why you don't get served fast, ask yourself if you do any of these things, (hint: if you do one you probably do them all). That's why the bartender isn't serving you because we actually remember this stuff and next time when you come to the bar you are getting served dead last.

Now, if you are in a busy bar in a new town and you don't know any bartenders, wait patiently at the bar to get your first drink. When someone serves you, you know how to act now because you just read what I wrote above. So you're an easy customer to serve. we appreciate that, we really do. But wait, there's more: on getting your first drinks, leave an oversized tip. Particularly if you're in a country where you don't have to tip. Tell the barman that the other tips won't be as big but they'll be close. Now the next time you go up to the bar, I don't care how many people are standing in front of you, that barman is serving you first.

Good stuff that. Thanks for the plug.

I live in North Portland, so for a more N/NE bias:

Moloko on Mississippi is ultra hipster but has amazing cocktails and pretty females who really know how to make them.

Florida Room is a plain, but very fun bar with a great smoking patio.

Hop & Vine on N Killingsworth is a new, quaint bar and bottle shop that knows how to make proper drinks.

Bye and Bye is the granddaddy of NE hipster bars but they do have some great drinks and usually good-looking ladies about.

SC you should go to Saraveza on Killingsworth some time you are in NE as well. Sounds like your kind of place. Beer heaven but small and cozy.

One SE plug is the Horse Brass Pub. Most traditional pub in Portland.

This is all spot on.

As SomethingClever said I own a bar in Portland. Been open 14 months, so we managed to make it past that tough first year. That alone is a good accomplishment imo. Bought a just awful awful dive that was changing owners regularly for a very good price and spent a month remodeling. So it is now a dive that looks like it has ownership that gives a crap.

Wife is a career bartender and it is really her baby. She runs it, I still work days. But I book bands, do the books, handyman stuff and prep food sometimes. So I can chime in on some of the business side stuff, no expert on drink making. Am becoming expert on drunk bar customer behavior.

The best piece of advice I got was from the owners of a Seattle bar that my wife worked at. They said create a good space and welcome everyone who comes in and treat them well. Meaning, you might have a particular style but that can turn people off and on. So put your stamp on it, but that is not as important as making sure that everyone who chooses to try it feels welcome.

Matching your drinks to the circumstances (how busy, type of establishment, skill of bartender) is a skill regular bargoers should work on. Don't get married to some fancy drink and try to get it everywhere. Learn to recognize the bars strength, which might not go beyond a fat whiskey on the rocks, and match it to stuff you like.

In this case, she might have really been out or just not wanted to make it. And also recognized that if she improvised without mentioning it, your gf might not like it. So kudos for honesty but it sounds like she couldn't hide her annoyance, which is not cool.

Bartenders: thoughts on people who stiff on cards? Had a few folks lately drink 5-6 beers and scratch out the tip line on a tab at the end of the night and leave no cash.

Ever had/seen a confrontation over a 0 tip? Seems like it would be hard to keep cool but as the owner I am hyper-aware of any little conflict ending up in social media, word of mouth, etc.. So it is a tough one.

If you can make your bar more comfortable to your customer's than their own living rooms then you have got it made.

I've forgotten my card twice at bars, and both times they themselves crossed out the tip and just charged me for the cost of the drinks. I felt bad both times because I didn't have cash to tip them when I picked up my card the next day, and the second time I even mentioned it; like I asked if they could add on a tip and they said to not worry about it. This can't be standard is it?

Most places will add 20% if you leave your card. We do, and have a sign up saying that will happen.

If they were open the next day, I would have bought another drink on the card and tipped then. They already rang it in without the tip, or else they would have let you add it.

Drinking pro tip: buying one or two drinks at a busy bar and asking to cash out on a card immediately will get you in the bartender doghouse. Bring cash for those circumstances you are popping in a busy bar for only one round. Hell, just bring cash everywhere you go like bars where cards slow things down.

I think he may hate Cubans - because in the same order with the mojito for my gf, I ordered an old fashioned which had some (it appeared) muddled orange in it! Haha it was actually pretty busy, and I do think he was actually out of mint, just was surprised by how annoyed he was by the initial ask on my gf's part. Didn't realize (as Diablo, Ads, dbz and yourself pointed out) what a PITA it is to make mojitos.

Also, and sort of to KJS' point (order to what the bar normally does)... I'm thinking a mojito isn't a regular order in the bar, where an old fashioned is.

The place looks exactly the same - I hadn't been in a while and it was nice to stop in again, great spot. There is now a strapping black man named Rich who has a bbq set up outside the bar on Fridays and Saturdays, does drumsticks, ribs and hot link sandwiches - would recommend.

Here is a link to an article our bar was in recently. The Foggy Notion is us.

I'll drink at your bar next time I'm in the area

well, lager beers, probably, but if you mean mixed drinks, probably some kind of highball. or lemon drops, for a shot, everyone can do those

haha there was as blue parrot that went out of business by me too!

man, this post needs to be read by every bargoer in the world.

as to the last tip, I'm almost loathe to admit how well it works. on two separate occasions, I had a similar long island type greaseball come up on a busy night, order drinks in a douchey manner, then tip like 5-10 bucks and tell me there was more where that came from. ofc I served him first from then on while silently hating him. so yeah, even if you're a douche, it works!

I can't remember ever having confronted anyone for that, although I would kind of assume that someone who leaves no tip on a large check is not only a POS, but also friends with POSs, so maybe being blacklisted by their entire network wouldn't be such a bad thing.

this drink got me into vermouth, and I'm still a fan of it. I used to order dry martinis, following the lead of a friend, but at decent bars (where the vermouth will be of quality) I order them fairly wet now.

Also, if you really want to beer snob it up, there's the Belmont Station, which is no longer located on Belmont (used to be next door to the Horse Brass).

This is what they have on tap right now:

Epic Hopulent Imperial IPA
Heater Allen Bobtoberfest
Epic Sour Apple Saison
Epic Brainless Belgian Golden Ale
3 Creeks Cone Lick'r (Fresh Hop)
Anderson Valley Port Barrel Stout
Lagunitas Fusion III Imperial Stout
Silver Moon Hopopatatums (Fresh Hop)
Laurelwood Cavalry Fresh Hop IPA
Upright Gunslinging Helles
Hopworks Give Me Liberty
Fresh Hopped Mac's Amber Ale
Uinta Duhbe Double Black IPA
Good Life Sweet As Pale Wheat
Migration 69lb. Perle Fresh Hop
Dogfish Head Hellhound on My Ale
Full Sail Lupulin (Magnum) Fresh Hop (Cask)

Disclaimer: By all accounts in this thread I am a fantastic bar patron. I also never order any of the drinks that show up on the PITA to make list. I also read the thread rather quickly and may have missed this being brought up.

That said this recurring notion that the bartenders have some right to be annoyed/provide worse service if you are ordering a PITA drink, particularly at busy times, is pretty mind blowing.

Maybe them having a "right" isn't what people are saying. Obviously everyone is entitled to their own judgments but if the bartender is giving a patron attitude, inferior service, or refusing to make a drink it seems to me he isn't good at his job. Or maybe more specifically is just a pompous entitled ass.

It is the bartenders job to provide whatever the patron wants in a friendly and timely manner. If they can't handle that and take any of those three aspects out of the experience they just aren't doing their job well. If they truly can't handle it that's between the owner/manager and the staff.

Am I missing something?

IMO, when bad bar service situations arise, it's more likely that the bartender is in an impossible situation (overcrowded bar, not enough staff) than the alternative, which is that he's bad at his job (or just a dick).

If you're the patron in this spot, sure, you can order 9 mojitos and ask the barman for the total as he's mixing them and then pay with a card and make him cash it out on the spot. But you should realize that you will be annoying the guy. Make a read of the situation and act accordingly.

I have rarely received truly BAD service, but then again, I'm a pretty easy patron to deal with (99% of the time I order beer or whiskey neat, I usually pay cash and if I don't, I leave my card open).