Hey guys. So I got PMs from Michaelson and HotzenplOdds saying this thread was bumped and you guys wanted an update. So much has happened in the past 9-10 months that there's no way I can cover it all without staying up for like a day straight, so I'm going to try to hit the highlights. I doubt I'll be able to do a question and answer thing right now because I'm so busy IRL, but I hope this satisfies everyone who was wanting to know more.
As best as I remember, we were at the point of having something like 7-8 known alters when I last posted in this thread. It stayed like that until around late January of this year. Something sort of clicked and a lot more starting showing themselves, almost all of which were child alters, anywhere from 3 to 17 years old or so. We ended up with a total of 29, not counting her normal self, but that number is lower now. There were two that were older, one male and one female. A few of the teenagers were also male. Only two of them tried to kick my ass, which I think is running slightly good. Haven't ended up in the hospital any more though.
To clarify: these alters were already there, but sort of dormant. As far as we know, there have been no "new" alters created via dissociation for quite a while.
We've learned soooooo much about this stuff since this thread was posted, and she has actually started the process of integration, which is basically like putting the pieces back together to form one personality instead of having a bunch of pieces floating around. Integration and maintaining the integrated state is about as "fixed" as you can get with this. Something like 6 or 7 of them have integrated so far. We have it in a notebook but I don't want to drag this out with too many details.
There are a lot of child alters, which we've learned is typical for people who have this disorder from a very young age. Each of them have their own little quirks, and I get to do a bit of coloring and putting together puzzles with them. Many of them seem to have specific purposes. For example, Michelle was picked on a lot in school because of how small she was. She's pretty small anyway, plus her birthday made her one of the youngest people in her class. As a result, we have the four year old Anna alter is very apt to "beat people up" who pick on her.
There are also a number of teenage alters. Most of the females are very fearful of me simply because I'm a male, and that leads to some problem scenarios that have required a lot of work. There are also a couple of males, both of which have been integrated at this point. When people brought up questions like, "What would you do if she had a male alter and he wanted to have sex with you?" I mostly ignored them, but as it turned out, it happened once. One of the teenage alters was a gay boy, and like with all of the male alters, and that led to some weird situations when they realize they're in a female's body.
At this point, we peaked at 29 and we're down to something like 23. It takes a bit of preparation to integrate, and the alter has to want to, which is going to be a bit tricky in itself once we inevitably run into a scenario where none of the alters want to integrate.
Actually as I type this, I'm reminded of the first integration. We were stuck with all of them being too afraid to integrate, and I gave one of those Al Pacino-inspired pep talks to Rebecca (#1 obv) since they all looked to her as a sort of leader figure. The alters are generally afraid to integrate because they're scared that they die. In reality, it's more like they're there all the time without having the barrier of needing to switch back and forth. Michelle has described it as feeling like someone took two puzzle pieces and put them together so that she can access a wider range of feeling without feeling like there is a gap that has to be crossed. This is also the analogy I use with the little ones to explain everything, and it seems to work well.
I'm trying to think of what else to write about.
Michelle's psychiatrist thought DID was fake until something happened in her office. I won't go into detail about what it was, but she psychiatrist is a believer now.
A good friend of mine tried to kill herself with pills a couple of months ago, and ended up in the same psych unit as Michelle was in once. The first time we went to visit, Michelle wanted to stay in the lobby because it scared her to go in there. The second time we went to visit, she got her balls up and went in to visit for a while. It was an interesting experience.
There hasn't been much drama with Michelle's family at all, mostly because we just avoid them as much as possible, except her brother and his family. He actually had a baby girl yesterday morning, and we went to see them last night. Michelle's face is a little swollen because she had her wisdom teeth taken out a few days ago in the pic of it below.
As far as everyday life goes, she still can't really be left by herself for a really long time, but she can cook and do stuff like that, and she very rarely has seizures any more. I think she's had two in the past four months, and she's able to hold them off for a few moments to get herself somewhere safe when they do start. It's incredible to think at one point she was having 6-8 a day uncontrollably.
She's been going out with friends and has a much better social life now. She used to flip out and have seizures at all kinds of random noises and flashing lights and stuff a while back, but now she's going to clubs with her friends and all kinds of cool stuff.
I still need some help watching her, but my financial situation is better. We're going to continue to live with my parents while I finish school starting spring 2012 since they need help with their bills and I need help with someone watching Michelle. I would start this fall but there is a series of three classes I need that are a prereq for each other because I apparently sucked at planning out my course work years back, and the first class is only offered in the spring, and I need something like 36 hours to get my degree. If I transfer to another school, then I'll have to take a bunch more classes, so I'm just going to roll with it and do three semesters starting this coming spring.
That's all I really know to write about. At this point we're making really clear progress and I can start to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I've found some pictures for you guys too, and they're below. We really appreciate all of the support from you guys, and I wish you all the best.
The pictures:
This is her brother's daughter who was born yesterday morning. Michelle's face is a little swollen because she had her wisdom teeth taken out a few days ago.
This is from about 5-6 weeks ago I think. I had taken one of the little dooters to a playground so she could play while I got some work done. The color's a little weird, and I'm not sure why.
The chick on the right is my best friend and is a lesbian, and took Michelle to some gay club with a few friends. I'm not about to try to fix the red eye since I suck at that sort of thing.
From September or October of 2010 at Emerald Isle, NC. Went to the beach with her parents. I'd hurt my wrist, as you can tell with my awesome wrist brace thingy.
Well guys that's all I've got until next time.