I am a huge degen who makes lots of money and spends lots of money. My life was basically partying and travelling. In the last 3 months before this I spent 5 figures on drugs. Basically, I always lived like I was going to die soon, and always had a lot of fun, probably more than I could handle.

I live(d) in Manhattan not Brooklyn. Maybe you know how to go to the streets of Brooklyn with money and get a gun, but I don't. In retrospect I should have looked into it, but I think the most likely scenario is I get robbed.

Seems like a common misconception. Living with the swings that I had in day to day life just seemed unbearable. It wasn't low self esteem, it was just being tired of living with such high high and low lows. It was never really about me even.

Dude, come on down here to Texas. I'll bet we can find you a gun!

Recreation only though. Don't shoot yourself with it.

I've got to give you props man. That is the craziest thing anyone has ever done in order to start an interesting ask me thread on OOT. Glad you survived so that this thread could see the light of day, it's been interesting so far. I've never met anyone so loyal to a forum.

When you jumped did traffic stop? Was there a large panic on the bridge above immediately after your drop? Could you see people looking over the edge and shouting? I'd like to capture the overall ambience of jumping off of a large bridge.

Could have been a very interesting scene to play out in a movie or even in real life. Make contact with a dude who looks likely to have a source. Go to secluded back alley with said source and he pulls gun to rob you. You explain why you need the gun and now the guy has a decision to make. He never intended to actually use the gun on you but you basically calling his bluff was really really really unanticipated. What happens next...

Can you imagine doing something more selfish for the rest of your life?

Are you still doing coke? If yes, have you thought of he possibility that many of your experienced ups and downs and overall mental issues are at least partly influenced by the coke, and that it may be wise to invest in some rehab or something?

i did some coke and speed myself a long time ago, i had some huuuge downer experiences and at some point i also wanted to kill myself. i think some people just can't handle this kind of stuff with all the side effects, at least i know i couldn't.

luckily i got some help, although the speed really messed me up and gave me some panic attacks a long time afterwords.

i guess my point is, get busy livin' or get busy dyin'. the former is the most difficult, and i can only wish you the best and that things work out for you.

what was your first thought when you hit the water and realized you weren't dead?

damn, that sounds rough. who do you blame the most for you having a lot of fun, your mom or dad?

how did you manage not to drown?

I would attribute the suicide attempt to OP being mentally unstable, not because he thinks he has a terrible life. Not that I would know for sure or anything, but just judging from this thread I would guess that's the case.

Do / were you taking lithium for your bi 'polarness'? Ive heard stopping taking it, is very much associated with suicidal behaviour?

where does you money come from?

how long had u planned this? not just thought about it, but how long before was the moment when u knew that this was it? that you were gonna do it for real?

There's no way you would've made it back w/o the NYPD boat idling underneath the bridge. The East River has very strong currents.

Also, do you feel like you are getting the offerings you need in order to cure your mental problems? Do you have to pay for said offerings yourself? (don't live in the us, in my country this is all public health care)

Have you at all felt any religious stuff after what is surely an incredible performance? (dropping 150 feet with only minor damages after all, if i read you correctly)

If not, any out-of-the-world feelings? How did it feel to land in the water from that height anyways? Were you like "WTF is this, I'm alive??!"

Will you write a book or make something otherwise productive out of your failed suicide attemt?

Actually, you should make a trip report imo.

lol

were you feedmykids1 from prima back in like 2003? i once got a royal flush against you when you had the king high royal. i showed all my friends the screenshot but they were more amused by your screen name.

OP is either the real deal or a very informed gimmick.

source: http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/..._off_broo.html

WTF is a king high royal?

Joker card involved obv.

I still am amazed at how you survived that with your injuries. I think you should get into some kind of sport that involves taking a lot of physical punishment. surviving that fall with moderate injuries like you had would suggest that you are a ****ing beast. that is soooo far to fall... the golden gate bridge is about 200 feet and there's only 1 survival story that I know of, and that guy got pretty ****ed up. Although, I imagine the difference between 135 and 200 is quite a bit...

or I could just be a pussy. I'd never eveer ever try that even if i was thinking of killing myself. my biggest fear would deciding on the way down that I actually didn't want to die.

oh yeah, and I'm sure there's going to be at least 1 person spewing that old rhetoric about how suicidal people are cowards... **** you... the dude jumped off a god damn bridge. let's see you try that.

srsly. with the injuries he mentioned i am impressed.

OP, thank you for posting this.

Can you describe in as much detail as possible the day before and the day of the event? Specifically from the point you decided you were definitely going to do it, how you got there and what you were thinking on your way there, etc. Did you take the train? Did you wonder if the other people on the train knew what you were going to do? Were the steps difficult to take as you walked towards or onto the bridge, or were you happy you were doing it? Any second thoughts during this time? What did it all feel like?

If that's too close to the bone, please ignore it all, but I definitely wonder about all the little details in something like this, and how someone goes about something like walking up stairs when they've already decided to give up.

OK, he hasn't posted for 3 hours now. We may need to hire a frogman to relay future posts.

FMK

I always thought you were fearless at the poker table on Bodog (shoving 500bbs with air) but I guess it all makes sense now. Be safe man.

farmslicer