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Hey OP, glad you made the thread. I've posted about my struggles with alcoholism and addiction and it's been a good thing for me and hopefully for some other people.
I know alcoholics for whom recover primarily means "don't drink / don't use", and from your OP it sounds like that might be the case for you. For me, recovery has meant changing the way I think about almost everything. Has recovery changed you as a person or are you basically the same guy as before, just without alcohol and drugs?
I'll have a year in September, hit me up anytime!
Thanks for the response and congrats on your upcoming year.
For me the word "sobriety" doesn't really cover everything that I've gone through since I stopped drinking. I don't think there's a word for it. When I speak, like at meetings or at a recovery center or something, I try to highlight the difference between abstinence and recovery. I hate to sound preachy but, for me, there is a huge difference.
My struggle with alcohol/drugs and the subsequent recovery process have been the most valuable thing I could have ever have imagined happening to me, beyond anything I would have even thought was possible. The reason for this is because I finally learned how to feel good about myself from the inside out.
I didn't have a messed up childhood, like I said, but I had a low self-image as a kid. More than that, I never was taught, or never learned, how to communicate those feelings properly. And as a result I never learned how to cope. The number one thing I have learned is that MY ADDICTION WAS A FUNCTION OF MY INABILITY TO COPE. My feelings of insecurity maybe weren't any worse than anyone else's. I had a good upbringing. But even as a kid, when given the chance to go right versus left, I always chose left. I never admitted, to myself or others, that I had these issues - I got anxious around and in front of people, I always analyzed everything I did and second guessed myself, I never thought I was as cool or as smart or as goodlooking as the next guy. I tried to overcompensate and as a result came off confident and probably brash for years. I WAS popular, good at sports, and decently smart, but nothing special...and I think that 'nothing special' was what I focused on.
The first time I drank, I felt that "ahhh" feeling. A release from those feelings of insecurity. I felt confident and secure. I more or less chased that feeling for the next 12 or 13 years until I stopped. Only when I stopped did I realize how I could gain true self-worth. The reason I relapsed every time, after rehabs, therapy, etc, was that I never got why I liked drinking so much in the first place. I never addressed the stuff that was always at my core since I was a kid. Once I got that, man....everything started to click. I realized I can have these struggles, these normal ups and downs, these feelings of insecurity, and I could DEAL with them - that they weren't going to kill me, that I could talk about them (meetings and therapy)...and that I could actually work on them - then I started to actually be confident for the first time in my entire life. I simply realized why I used drugs and alcohol my whole life and that I don't need them...and that my life is a lot better than it ever was even when I WAS a functional drinker. Because I am in a lot of ways a new person. I could write a book on this whole process but I think it's enough to say I personally never would have been able to gain that without this whole process. I am extremely thankful.
So to answer your question, no, I'm not the same guy. I actually like myself now.