Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCroShow
How difficult is it to apologize to the ones you have hurt? Have you done so?
Varying degrees of difficulty. i want to make it clear that there will be no "poor me" stuff in this thread....that being said the guilt, shame, and remorse part of this whole process is at least as difficult as the not drinking/doing drugs. The actual making amends is not so difficult because its a purging of sorts, you have these terrible things in your head THAT YOU DID, and it feels good to apologize for them. It doesnt mean those feelings go away - i still get drunk dreams, albeit less. The 'tougher' part is dealing with people's reactions. They say in the meetings that once you make that amend, you are released from its burden, but it doesnt really work like that. Firstly, you have lied to so many people for so long, a lot of people just arent going to believe you. Then some ppl are just over it and are probably thankful for you being out of their lives. I definitely was overzealous in the beginning in my apologies. I made a mass fb message about a year in and sent it to a bunch of people, and i think that was a leak. A one-night stand or someone who knew you for a week dont need to read a novel describing your experiences, struggles, how it wasnt you, and how much better you have gotten. The majority of people, though, have been just amazingly considerate, forgiving, and kind considering the sample size i gave some of them. Now i have come to tems more with everything. But yeah - the apologizing itself isnt so bad, and its (sometimes) rewarding. It helps you get it out of your head. As for the second question, I think I have apologized properly to about 50% of the people I intend to.