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Old 07-29-2010, 06:38 PM   #176
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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What do you do on weekends or for holidays? Are there parts of the world you're interested in seeing?

If you could flip a switch or take a pill, would you want to be completely rid of any OCD symptoms, or would the thought of having to 're-identify' yourself paralyse you?
Weekends are typically spent alone, as there is nobody I really care to spend them with.

Holidays are typically spent with the family, as it is my obligation.

And I am not interested in seeing any part of the world, I like rut I have dug myself into.

And you ask a very interesting final question...I guess the easy answer would be that I would want to shed my OCD and "fit in"...but it is paradoxical in the respect that I detest people who act "normal" for the sake of conformity and can at least appreciate the fact that I have a clear identity...so I am not sure if I would want to change.
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:11 PM   #177
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

you said you had 1 close personal friend. tell me more about how that works/happened. also what job do you perform?
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:24 PM   #178
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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So do you kill people with axes or chainsaws?
fyp
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:00 PM   #179
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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you said you had 1 close personal friend. tell me more about how that works/happened. also what job do you perform?
My one close personal friend is one who knows all about my condition and my true self...and instead of running away, used the opportunity to reciprocate and tell me about his imperfections. He is the only person I have ever seen eye to eye with, and he has never treated me as an inferior or an anomaly.

I am not disclosing the job, as it would be a potential identifier.
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:25 PM   #180
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

how did you meet them how did they find out how etc etc etc i would like to know how this friendship didnt fail like your other ones. is it becuase they were willing to accept you or is it something you did or etc etc
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Old 07-29-2010, 09:01 PM   #181
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

How tall are you and how much do you weigh?
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Old 07-30-2010, 01:16 PM   #182
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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How tall are you and how much do you weigh?
5'10" and 134 lbs upon my last check. This should be consistent with my BMI.
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Old 07-30-2010, 01:17 PM   #183
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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how did you meet them how did they find out how etc etc etc i would like to know how this friendship didnt fail like your other ones. is it becuase they were willing to accept you or is it something you did or etc etc
Every good friendship progresses in stages, and eventually, I felt comfortable enough to open up about my own "problems". When I did so, I was met with empathy and understanding, which grew into a great friendship.
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Old 08-01-2010, 01:48 PM   #184
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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Now we are getting to the good stuff. To preface, I am straight.

I have never been in a relationship, due to a combination of a lack of interest, an occupation with other aspects of life, and pervasive fear concerning my ability to take such a commitment too far.

I am not sure if I will be able to enter one, as it would involve completely opening up myself to someone...and I have enough trouble being rejected by a friend, never mind someone who I may like beyond this level.

Luckily, I have never really been interested by much of anyone, despite working in an environment full of very attractive females who are all very successful...but I hate the hypocrisy that many of them emit. The only time I have ever felt anything for a female was when I used to regularly interact with a crude, outspoken ***** outside of the workplace, and my obsessions about her were some of my worst. I do not know if I could deal with being rejected by her, so I still have kept these feelings internal.

Thus, it logically follows that I am indeed a virgin.
This is a partial lie, and I will come clean about this.

I have been in a relationship, a hollow one based upon form more than substance, and I am ashamed to say I have taken any part in it. We broke up officially just this past week, and although I should not allow it to be affecting me, it has beyond the point of delirium. To know that someone could be so cold as to dissolve a relationship upon learning about who I really am is something that sent me into a drunken spiral of depression, one that has finally reached its apex as of this morning.

To repent, I am posting this in the topic, and although it is cathartic in its own right, I still feel terrible that a relationship could be so skin-deep, and even more terrible that I am so weak as to deal with an event in this irresponsible manner.
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Old 08-01-2010, 02:31 PM   #185
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

You need to turn yourself into the cops. The girls parents deserve to know what happened to her.
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Old 08-01-2010, 02:40 PM   #186
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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You need to turn yourself into the cops. The girls parents deserve to know what happened to her.
This actually cheers me up quite a bit.
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Old 08-01-2010, 02:45 PM   #187
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

You'll have years to reminisce in prison.
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Old 08-01-2010, 03:55 PM   #188
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Grunch:
Forgot to end your thread title with a period, and that drives me crazy.
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Old 08-01-2010, 04:05 PM   #189
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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Grunch:
Forgot to end your thread title with a period, and that drives me crazy.
Fragment (consider revising)
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Old 08-01-2010, 04:10 PM   #190
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

I was talking to Mr. Grunch, thank you, so the "you" was implied.
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Old 08-01-2010, 04:54 PM   #191
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

I also have the "touch things an even number of times" compulsion. It manifested itself the strongest for me in my attempts to avoid stepping on cracks on the sidewalk, and if I did step on one I would have to do it again on another crack the exact same way. If for some reason I failed to achieve the even number of something it would feel "wrong" but it wouldn't bother me anymore than that, and eventually I decided the whole thing was stupid and decided to just stop doing that stuff. I still find myself doing it at times though.

I have other compulsive behavior that's a lot more damaging. =/
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:05 PM   #192
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

how old are you??? what do you think you'll end up doing with everything youve collected????


gl with everything, nice thread.......
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:11 PM   #193
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Question:

So, when I leave my house I often have to go back to check If I closed the garage door or call someone in the house to check it for me, is this ocd or just an obsession???

this happens with the main door as well, when I get home, I often have to get out of bed to go see for my self if its closed or not.

Now what I do, since I know its going to happen, as Im closing the door or the gate or whatever, I say something like closed closed closed to ensure my self that it is in fact close and I dont have to go back, works almost every time.

ty
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:14 PM   #194
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Christian, I'm not a doctor but just stop doing that.
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:27 PM   #195
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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I also have the "touch things an even number of times" compulsion. It manifested itself the strongest for me in my attempts to avoid stepping on cracks on the sidewalk, and if I did step on one I would have to do it again on another crack the exact same way. If for some reason I failed to achieve the even number of something it would feel "wrong" but it wouldn't bother me anymore than that, and eventually I decided the whole thing was stupid and decided to just stop doing that stuff. I still find myself doing it at times though.

I have other compulsive behavior that's a lot more damaging. =/
Hey, I know what you mean. After my break-up, my emotions just exploded, and my obsessions were so loud and deafening that I went on a bender to end all benders and woke up in a parking lot about 100 miles away with little recollection of how I got there.

I would say that it was not a compulsion because this occurrence was a first, but I had never experienced a breakup before, and I had nowhere to really turn in order to silence my thoughts of inadequacy.

Losing someone I really do not give a damn about in itself does not bother me as much as the facts that are behind why she left, many of which are mentioned in this topic.
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:28 PM   #196
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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how old are you??? what do you think you'll end up doing with everything youve collected????


gl with everything, nice thread.......
I have it appraised at over $100,000, maybe sell it off piece by piece if times get tough. I am 24 years of age, for what it's worth.
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:35 PM   #197
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christian Troy View Post
Question:

So, when I leave my house I often have to go back to check If I closed the garage door or call someone in the house to check it for me, is this ocd or just an obsession???

this happens with the main door as well, when I get home, I often have to get out of bed to go see for my self if its closed or not.

Now what I do, since I know its going to happen, as Im closing the door or the gate or whatever, I say something like closed closed closed to ensure my self that it is in fact close and I dont have to go back, works almost every time.

ty
You are able to justify why you have your obsessions; you fear for the safety of you and those you care about, and double-checking is simply a byproduct of this, perhaps because you do not feel that others place the same emphasis upon safety that you do.

I am not able to rationalize why I have my obsessions, as a lot of the reasons are largely due to "magical thinking", so to speak. I have enough collectibles to open a store, and yet, I still feel as if it is never enough, as if I have to prove that nobody can out-collect me. When I was at work, I would have to check the internet to receive up-to-the-minute sports information, or else feel left behind. Poker is not so much a way to make money as much as it is a struggle to outplay the competition, and I have constant thoughts of how I can improve my game to crush inferior play.

There is no resolution with my obsessions, and the compulsions are cyclical as a result.
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Old 08-01-2010, 11:18 PM   #198
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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I also have the "touch things an even number of times" compulsion. It manifested itself the strongest for me in my attempts to avoid stepping on cracks on the sidewalk, and if I did step on one I would have to do it again on another crack the exact same way. If for some reason I failed to achieve the even number of something it would feel "wrong" but it wouldn't bother me anymore than that, and eventually I decided the whole thing was stupid and decided to just stop doing that stuff. I still find myself doing it at times though.

I have other compulsive behavior that's a lot more damaging. =/
Actually, after having made this post I've discovered I haven't really overcome it as much as I thought. The description of "touching things" is a bit oversimplistic. For example I have naturally dry eyes so when I'm wearing contacts I'll often end up blinking one eye because the contact is bothering me, which causes a certain sensation as my face contorts. After doing that once I feel a need to do it a second time, but a lot of times the second contortion will feel a bit different than the first, so then I'll need to do both of them a second time... so I end up standing around blinking my eye a bunch until I realize it's hopeless to keep trying to achieve whatever I'm trying to achieve.

After giving this a bit more thought I think that this little compulsion of mine shows up mostly when I do something by accident or something unnecessary, but not for something routine like typing or opening a door or turning on the lights. And I'm becoming more certain now that I do this a lot more than I'd like to admit, but the urges are weak enough that they don't interfere with my life so I don't really worry about it.

/hijack
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Old 08-02-2010, 12:11 AM   #199
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

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Originally Posted by soah View Post
Actually, after having made this post I've discovered I haven't really overcome it as much as I thought. The description of "touching things" is a bit oversimplistic. For example I have naturally dry eyes so when I'm wearing contacts I'll often end up blinking one eye because the contact is bothering me, which causes a certain sensation as my face contorts. After doing that once I feel a need to do it a second time, but a lot of times the second contortion will feel a bit different than the first, so then I'll need to do both of them a second time... so I end up standing around blinking my eye a bunch until I realize it's hopeless to keep trying to achieve whatever I'm trying to achieve.

After giving this a bit more thought I think that this little compulsion of mine shows up mostly when I do something by accident or something unnecessary, but not for something routine like typing or opening a door or turning on the lights. And I'm becoming more certain now that I do this a lot more than I'd like to admit, but the urges are weak enough that they don't interfere with my life so I don't really worry about it.

/hijack
I love it when other share their personal experiences, so no worries about the hijack...however, consider this post your cutoff. If you continue, I will pop you in the button until you are blind...and anger me further, and I will place you under the gun. </endstupidpuns>

But you may have sensory sensitivity, as well...Asperger's has this in droves. Concerts always deafen me (although I still love them), video games cause my eyes to twitch for weeks at a time, and I cannot stand the rain.
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Old 08-02-2010, 12:39 AM   #200
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Re: Ask me about what it is like living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

I saw a homeless man standing in the rain screaming at the top of his lungs just a few days ago.
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