Will you, please, go into detail about the stalking thing?

Hey, great thread!
I am not quite sure what it is that I have as I have many of these weird obsessions but I function quite well socially and have many friends. I have many of them that were already discussed such as: if an object or person touches me in a spot such as knee or elbow or thigh it feels very uncomfortable and i often have to touch it back with the bottom of my foot...I also have one with buttons such as the knob on the radio in my car or buttons on the tv, for some reason after I push it it feels very uncomfortable and I have to press the button multiple times (not a set number, just until it feels right). My personal most frustrating one is that I cannot touch anything with the back of my hand and especially not my fingernails, it feels unbearably uncomfortable and i immediately have to touch it back with the front side of my hand. I often do get anxious however when it is in an awkward situation like having to touch a friend back because it is pretty wtf...I have a bunch of others that don't need to be discussed in detail as this is your thread lol, but I was just wondering have you ever been so uncomfortable due to one of your obsessions that the anxiety affects your breathing and it almost feels like a panic attack?
Also, how do you react to people who claim that it is all just an act in order to gain attention since ignorant people are everywhere?
Also--favourite poker player/online tourney?

what would you want people around you to do to help eaze the ocd?(like friends and family)

Is it hard for you to meet new people?

If you didn't mention it already what medication do you take?

Is not a book:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK8OaYVjhTA

you should watch it.

Sorry about my absence, life happens, after all. Update time!

Yeah, why not.

In college, I was being followed from afar by a female for whatever reason. I did some research and found out about it because I noticed some strange consistencies; details rarely escape me, and she would pop up in some of the most awkward places.

One day, I confronted her, and asked her why she did it, and she said, (this is paraphrased, but priceless) "She had a crush on me but no longer did because the fact I found out about her stalking creeped her out."

And people think I have issues.

--Whenever I feel like I am an obvious outlier in a situation, I get a panic attack, and this happens quite frequently. To the extent that I was given the suggestion to leave my work environment.

--Nobody would ever make that claim, as I am one of the least-pretentious people you will ever meet. I hate drawing attention to myself, to the extent that I can't even talk about this comfortably under my primary screename.

--I have little preference, since as a cash player, I never paid too much attention to the tourney scene.

--To make me feel better, let me have my space, and realize I need it quite often.

--It is VERY hard for me to meet new people, to the extent that I express the intent to do so but rarely follow through.

--I take SSRIs, which are great for eliminating tilt from poker, as well.

Perhaps I will...thanks for the link!

That YouTube documentary hits close to home...it is interesting, I do not feel like I will ever be content until I am able to merge a compulsion with my life in general in a manner that is symbiotic, much like Cap. Zeebo did with poker. I guess that is partially my aim, as well, when I really think about it.

I have been thinking quite a bit lately...about the nature of interaction and myself. They are largely hampered by the fact that I always think people are hiding things from me, which is a nightmare for someone with my condition. Being told bad news can be a sharp shock to the system, but it goes away very quickly, as it is a known quantity that can be confronted. The feeling that someone is keeping something from you is like a pain that will not go away...a pain that grows stronger and stronger until irrational thoughts occur and friendships grow beyond repair.

It is a dangerous mix: I am very good at finding things out, obsess about the fact that they are being kept from me, and compulsively do things that are uncharacteristic. Throw in a pinch of being constantly feeling out of the loop, and it is difficult to really have many real friends.

prime numbers have become an obsession of mine, I thought about it for weeks, and only am now starting to stop, although this post makes me want to start all over again. Please google 'prime number spiral.' It is so fascinating.

I was actually counting out prime numbers in my head at the table during my last session, for no reason other than the fact that it took my mind off of the dismal current state of the shell which is my social existence. No lie.

What consistencies? What "dots" did you connect? What anecdotes did you piece together? I think this is the actual interesting part of the story that people would like to hear about.

I typed it all out, and decided that I did not want to post it...I read it, and it scared me how well I was able to piece everything together using my own attention to details. It serves as a reminder of things that are currently being kept from me as we speak, and I do not want to have to think about it if I really do not have to.

This actually ties back to the post I made earlier in the night--I am very, very good at finding out secrets that are being kept from me simply by noticing subtle disturbances in my environment.

I guess this ability is partially why I am a good poker player, as well.

And I will touch upon another topic--paranoia, or the constant feelings of suspicion or persecution by others. I was tested for this and was found to be clean, and I agree that this disorder does not characterize me. I seek to find the altruistic qualities in everyone, but my obsessions allow me to find the other side of the coin, as well.

Case in point, even though my stalker exhibit erratic and neurotic behavior, even I can recognize that it was simply motivated out of introversion and had intentions that were good, not harmful.

Thanks for answering all of the questions. It is a good read.

What would you do if you realized an error in the grammar/punctuation/SOMETHING of your post?

I know I answered this once before . But I do not mind answering it again.

I really dislike making mistakes in my posts unless one of two criteria are met:

1. I intend to make the error; I do not mind using internet slang or using 1337 sp33k or other internet vernacular if it fits the conversation. After all, it is not like I am no fun .

2. The conversation is private and with someone whom I know respects and values my intelligence.

I firmly believe that perception is reality, and in order to have an intelligent persona, one must ensure that the words used to represent his/her thoughts and ideas are complete, well-conceived, and error-free. When I make an error, I will admit to feeling sub-standard.

A prime example of the "Catch-22" of OCD and why is causes such distress.

I know someone is currently keeping something from me, I have connected dots, so to speak, and am waiting for this person to come forward and say something so I don't have to...almost to validate that this person cares about the ramifications of his/her actions.

This knowledge causes me great emotional pain, the type of pain I process and reprocess because I am unable to rationalize it. But here is the paradox, I am too afraid to confront this person because of my evasive nature, which could serve to completely mitigate these feelings (especially because I am not mad at the person, just disappointed in how he/she is handling it).

Can anyone sympathize? I am that this feeling is rather commonplace, even if it does not constantly occupy your thoughts and modify your behaviors, accordingly.

How about confronting this person by email? You're able to be quite open in this thread and I'm guessing that it's not just because you're anonymous but also because you don't have to put on an act and deal with personal interaction.



I think it's common. What I've found is that when the issue is finally raised it's usually not that big a deal and/or it's simply an honest misunderstanding and the response to being confronted is something like "good god man why didn't you just tell me this sooner?" In your particular example it sounds like it's something non-trivial, but often things grow out of proportion when they're locked inside and dwelled upon.

I might just take your advice and send an e-mail, although it can open up a realm of discomfort.

Hope it goes well.

Indeed, I just dropped the hammer, so to speak.

No ****, man.

It is interesting, I have major issues, but I know them, confront them, and am able to control them when in public, to the extent that those who casually interact with me have absolutely no idea that they exist.

I would say for every one of me, there are ten people in denial who have major issues, maybe not ones who can receive a psychiatric diagnosis as a debilitating condition, but issues that can be classified according to the DSM-IV. These are the people who constantly act out of line and justify it by rationalizing its normality with faulty logic.

SmithGroupRep, I'm going to PM you - the DSM -IV (soon to be 5 - perhaps before the new millenium) are like this, son.

I call the folks you describe undiagnosed, and they are all over the internet (as I'm sure you're aware).

My Mom and my Uncle are OCD. I can barely take either one of them on certain days. What are some coping skills from your personal experience dealing with folks with OCD? If you've answered this, feel free to quote yourself or tell me to read - I've grunched this thread because it's colossal.

PS my Mom is a hoarder and it kills me with worry, too.

Others are undiagnosed not so much concerning OCD, but also Axis II personality disorders. I am not looking forward to my Aspergers diagnosis becoming Autism with the inception of the DSM-V, although it will make disability claims easier in the future.

I have really never met another OCD, but I know when I start annoying a neurotypical; although it may be difficult to do, I feel obligated to isolate myself whenever I sense this. I am very inept at picking up the social cues that are commons and understood by society, but I am extremely good at reading the body language and cues that people do not intend to convey...although antisocial cues, if you will.

And as a hoarder, allow me to say that your mother should not have access to funds if her compulsion is an expensive one, as a hoarder can deplete finances like no tomorrow.