I did not have as many fringe acquaintances to cultivate, as I spent most of my free time in isolation.

I have taken 2 leaves, neither of which were related to a specific incident, but a gradual build-up of stress due to my inability to deal with the scrutiny of others, lashing out at co-workers, and simply being unable to keep my facade up at all times, causing my professionalism (or their word for failure to conform) to be called into question.

Nobody knows about the OCD outside of my family and my best friends. Others just think I am weird, eccentric, and different, which is something I try to shield myself from whenever possible.

Do not get me wrong, I am not misanthropic by any means, but it is difficult to hear about people saying crap behind your back about the subtle things you do, which is also a result of the Asperger's.

I get what you're saying. Dealing with crap like that would wear anyone out.

Yeah, but the last thing I want this to turn into is a "woe is me" type topic, as well. There are things I cannot do, and things I can do with much difficulty, but knowing my own limitations has ultimately led to self-acceptance and posting this educational topic as a result.

I am not to the point to where I would reveal my "main" 2p2 screename, though.

how are you with women?

Most: Apathetic relative to guys, and although I have no problem talking to them or keeping them at arm's length as casual acquaintances, I find many of them to be particularly petty. It is interesting, because I make it obvious that I have absolutely no interest in anything more than friendship with them, and they interact with me as such.

I already mentioned the only time in my life I felt genuine feelings for a girl, and that was a different story altogether. Obsessing about a person is a terrible experience, and I already know my reaction to rejection and betrayal is strong. It is like being stuck in between a rock and a hard place, to the extent that I wish such feelings did not exist in me.

Do you watch television/movies?

Yes, I watch a select few shows/movies, and when I get hooked to a show, it becomes, you guessed it, an obsession. I am currently watching one of my favorite TV Series, Hell's Kitchen. I just saw both Salt and Inception and cannot talk about them enough. Sports? I can talk about sports for days on end.

But I am completely apathetic and/or detest the vast majority of shows and movies as a waste of time. I would likely make an ample critic, as I love picking programming apart.

NHAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

ugh. a lot of this **** sounds like me. how do you feel about music? do you constantly have songs replaying over and over in your head? do you read your posts multiple times before you hit the submit reply button?

To be honest OP, I don't think you have OCD or if you do, it is mild. A lot of the repetitive behaviours could be attributed to Asperger's Syndrome, which you say you also have

Smith - I read through most (but not all) of the posts.

I'm interested in if you get anxious about going out in public or if the thought of preparing to go out makes you ill or un-comfortable.

Serious question.

You could be right, however he was diagnosed by a real doctor years ago and he is admittedly leaving out a lot of symptoms. It's not clear either way, though.

+1 when I was 12 or so.

Pretty much EVERYTHING I did I would have to do it an even number of times to continue with whatever I was doing.

If I touched anything accidentally or on purpose with any part of my body (knee, elbow, thigh etc...) and it felt "weird", I would have to touch that same object in the same way no matter what, I just felt antsy until I touched it a total of 4 times.

TV Volume always had to be an even number, and to get to that number I had to press the volume 4 times to get there.

I sort of grew out of it after 2 years or so on my own, but like Stu I still do it from time to time.

GL OP

YES to both. I have a habit of humming random songs when I am lost in thought, and will sometimes keep a catchy song in my head for days at a time. It is a scary habit, and even more scary in the respect that apparently we both share it.

And when I feel the post is important, I do read my posts multiple times, or end up editing them several times to perfection.

Mild repetitive behaviors are indeed linked to Asperger's, but my psych took one look at my condo and immediately diagnosed it as something more. I have pics, but there is no way I am comfortable sharing them.

Both Asperger's and OCD are Axis I disorders, and it is possible for someone to have both.

Serious answer: I used to lock myself in my room and hide if I felt unprepared to go out in public, and if I was shown resistance, I would throw tantrums and break down in tears due to my own insecurities.

This relates to my Axis II diagnosis, Avoidant Personality. There is a cool test you can take that tests for a number of disorders:

http://similarminds.com/personality_disorder.html

Interesting, and there is a derivative of OCD that is more reliant on compulsion that this seems to characterize.

I would say I spend much, much more time obsessing than compulsing, to the extent that it is a cause-and-effect relationship.

Almost everyone on this earth have very strong reactions to rejection and betrayal. Most are paralyzed by the fear of feeling this (mainly rejection) and never attempt to forge any type of relationship because of it. In this case, I doubt this reaction/feeling is a result of your OCD or Apergers as it is extremely common. Believe me, we all know that feeling.

I'm not trying to be a dick or anything. I guess I am just trying to tell you that you can forge relationships with new people if you are willing to take that risk.


Anyway, I was wondering what game of poker you play? I was thinking with your OCD that you would be more attracted to SnGs because it is more of a mathematical type of game. How has your OCD effected your poker game? What are the positives? What about the negatives? TY for sharing.

If its not too personal, could you describe what it was about your condo that led him to the diagnosis?
As for the extensive hoarding and addiction, do you actually enjoy doing it?

First, you do not want to know how I deal with rejection...this less "normal" and more of "Lifetime movie villain". I become very vengeful when it happens, sometimes leading to things that I often regret. We all know that feeling, but is everyone affected by it so much as to think terrible thoughts as a result leading to some disturbing behaviors?

I am a cash game player, first and foremost, and I play a very mathematical game that incorporates deception and slightly-LAGish tendencies in order to get paid for my big hands.

My condo has little walking room as a result of my hoarding, and every inch of the condo is filled with collectible merchandise.

I love hoarding and addiction a little bit too much, enough that the activity is able to quell my stress and identify and validate me as a person.

Have you ever "murdered" anyone?

See, I've always thought of OCD as something a bit more irrational and distressing than this, like someone washing their hands endlessly to prevent an "imminent" infection. Why do you like hoarding - because it minimises change in your life, gives structure or routine to it, do you enjoy the pattern recognition aspect of it or something completely different?

how is this thread effecting your daily routine by now? can u leave your computer and not think about starting this thread and that you are supposed to answer questions?

do you walk down the street regulary or you watch your steps? (like not stepping on the gaps and such)

can you eat in public places?
do you have any problems/"rituals" with buying clothes or similar?