Is this a French Canadian thing, or do...lol...'normal'...canadians get freaky too?

We've been told we're hot, but we're definitely not perfect. We're both in good shape fwiw. We've gone to swing clubs and some parties, but I'm not into the big group thing yet. So far it's just been one on one. During hookups it's mostly swap, but usually there are various combinations of play thrown in.

I would say that swingers come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. As I'd mentioned earlier there is no prototypical swinger. While it is true that swingers tend to be older because the older you get the more comfortable you are with your sexuality and your relationship, I wouldn't say that most swingers are fat and hairy. In fact I would say swingers tend to take care of themselves more than vanilla couples, simply because there is the added motivation of getting some action from someone other than your spouse.

We had talked about it in passing for a while, but only really decided to seriously pursue it this year. We made a profile on AFF and a few other sites and met some people that way. We have been to clubs, but the clubs in our area are not that great and the clientele tends to be on the older side. It's still a fun time because you can go dance and meet people without feeling like you're too old for the club scene.

We started out soft, but by our second hookup had transitioned to full. As far as communication we are far more open now because you pretty much have to be. We've definitely had some situations where I wasn't very comfortable and we've definitely made sure to talk them through.

We do have kids, but they are still young enough where it's not a concern. We can leave them with their grandparents when we decide to go out and it's not a problem at all. Might be more difficult once they are older, but we have family nearby so it shouldn't be a big deal.

Not french so I guess to answer your question no, not just a French Canadian thing :P

Be honest, did your wife have a lot of trauma as a child? Usually chicks that like to sleep around have deep seeded parental issues etc...

A friend of mine is pretty sure her parents were swingers. Kids will put 2 and 2 together when they get older. She didn't really want to think about it beyond the suspicions though.

No she had a normal upper middle class upbringing. It's not like all swingers have deep seeded emotional issues. For 99% of us it's just a fun diversion and a chance to experience other partners or to give one or both spouses a chance to experience something their significant other can't provide.

That said, a lot of people get into it with the thought that it will fix their relationship. Whereas it usually just accelerates the inevitable.

What were her suspicions?

I knew a woman who was into the scene. She took me to a weekly BYOB club about a half dozen times over a 12 month period.

On several occasions I saw men get upset at other men. I never saw what instigated the incidents and none came to violence but tempers were clearly evident.

Key Parties, is it you?

How attractive generally are the swingers you run with? Are you all like, not hot? Is it a wide range, cause if so I think the good looking people get f'ed over. Do the good looking couples show up and are like "uh gross" and leave?

I am shocked to learn that if you were to bang someone other than your wife, and she were to bang another dude, this could exacerbate an already stressful marital situation.

I think it was something like when they were kids her parents would always send her and her brother away for the night when another couple came to visit. Then one time when she was in college she wanted to come home but they said it wasn't a good idea, and she found out later that couple had stayed at her parents house all weekend. There might have been some other clues.

Probably that her parents were swingers.

Tsao try to contain your non-sensical posts to Politics plz.

lol at everyone worrying about hotness levels

you guyz just don't get it (but I do after several minutes of internet research):

you know that wrinkled waitress at Denny's with the swollen ankles and patchy hair?

she's out there right now, will penetrate you rectally via phallic prosthesis, and as you cry out in pleasure, something new will happen to you, something real and exciting, a kind of second youth gifted from the tip of her metal penis

amirite op, or what?

lollll

i'm not really worried per se - it just feels very unjust for a hot couple to have to swing with uggos all the time. I mean, great for the fat ugly ppl, but pretty unfair to good looking ppl imo

(though i suppose if the hot couple had a fetish like taking a dump on their backs or something, that sort of evens it out on the parity scale)

I can do cute and pretty chunky up to a point. The problem is the next day I don't want to be anywhere near cute and chunky, while cute and chunky usually wants to cuddle and have breakfast and spend the day together. Barf. Swinging would eliminate this problem. Now all I need is a partner.

i'll partner with you suzzer.

For us looks are fairly important, but so is personality. That said when people message us and we're not attracted to their profile we politely decline. TBH it's like dating, but for couples. I'm assuming if you're single and on a dating site, you're not going out on dates with whomever. Same goes for clubs, if someone who is unattractive shows interest in you, you're not likely to hook up with them.

There are singles in the lifestyle as well. A lot of guys, but also a few girls ("unicorns"). A lot of couples love to have MFM threesomes. (We're not into that currently.) In fact a lot of swinger clubs will have singles nights, where they allow couples and singles. But since single guys are a dime a dozen, you really need to be able to take rejection in stride.

If by 'take rejection in stride' you mean have my spirit crushed for 6 months or so, then yeah I got that one. Also I don't think I'd be super motivated to do some cute & chunky chick while her husband watched.

Dude, seriously? only one type of men are into that kind of sword fighting, and they are not the straight type.

CS - but what if they are willing to do anything - and by anything, I mean really indulge you in your most twisted fantasies? Surely you would take an uggo to abuse like that?