Last summer I used some poor judgement, and as a result I was sentenced to 15 days in the county jail. Wanting to get it over and done with (sentencing was mid December), I chose to serve the time over the holidays.

I've never thought of myself as the "jail type," but a lot of people in jail would say the same thing. I was nervous for a lot of reasons.

First, it's jail and jail sucks. Obviously. But it's also not prison. Fewer shankings (though the week before I was there, an inmate did commit suicide). I don't know how to seriously describe the difference, in part because I've never been to prison. Lighter security. Same orange jumpsuits though. Some parts of jail are probably closer to a crappy summer camp than they are to prison.

I'm not saying jail isn't a big deal, of course it is. But a lot of people wind up in jail at some point.

Privacy. If you've seen a couple of my other threads, you'll know how important privacy and solitude are to me. And in jail you get none. The shower in the medium security area is the most privacy you can get, which partially explains the ridiculously long showers people take when they can get away with it.

The loss of privacy was my biggest fear.

My point is that if I had to describe my mood as I went it, it was mostly Curious. I chose to go to jail. I had two options, with one that included neither probation nor jail.

I've always wondered how I would fare in prison. Some morbid curiosity. But I always figured that if faced with a lengthy sentence, say 10 years or more, I would probably try and run. And when I was caught, I'd probably kill myself in jail.

But two weeks? It seemed like a test, an experience. The world's ****tiest roller coaster, perhaps: you wouldn't go on it if you were truly afraid, and you do want the ride. ...

For some reason, I wanted the experience. Could I meditate myself thru my sentence? Would I read three books a day? Would I go crazy? It seemed like an opportunity to learn something.

And the whole experience, from arrest to freedom, continues to be a tiny glimpse at how the local justice system works.

If you set aside the actual crime, the poor judgement I used, if you take that out of the equation then honestly I'm glad I have gone through this experience. Ok, and the cost. I'm not happy about that.

And jail sucked, like I said. But looking back on it, I'm grateful I had the experience.

I'd like this to be questions about JAIL. I am fascinated by the experience.

But I'm not a total tease. One weekend last summer I drove home from the casino, after a couple days with no sleep and some alcohol in my system. As I got closer to home, I started to get really, really tired. I rolled down the window, cranked up the radio, but just couldn't make myself wake up. There may have been impacts from a new medication I was on, as well.

I pulled over and fell asleep. A passerby saw me in the front seat and called the police, and that's that.

I really wish I'd used better judgement and it had not occurred. Of course I'm grateful no one else was involved. If you had to have a DWI, this is the way you'd want to do it.

So I'll leave you with this outline and then answer questions.

Ultimately I spent seven days in jail. Misdemeanors and violations qualify for "good time," meaning you serve 2 days and then get 1 credited for good behavior. You serve 2/3 of the sentence. Remarkably effective at keeping order. You are also credited one day for the day of your arrest.

When you first are incarcerated, you are put in a cell by yourself. "Classification," they call it, as they try and figure out where to put you. Typically this is a short process, but because I came in on a Friday evening the decision didn't get made until Tuesday, so I spent about 4 days in a single cell locked down for 23 hours and 40 minutes a day.

They moved me to "the dorms," which is the lowest security they have at the jail. Four bunk beds and one toilet. A communal table in the middle, a TV that ran 9 a.m. to midinight, never-ending games of Spades. A kisok in the room to order stuff from the commissary system. A telephone that works the same hours as the TV.

All the bunks were filled, and I met some characters. At some points it felt more like that crappy summer camp I mentioned, or a hostel dorm. One night commissary had just been delivered and so everyone had plenty of coffee and we were playing cards of course, and I looked around the room and it just looked like a fairly regular party: four at a table playing cards, two pairs chatting, everyone laughing ... it was surreal.

So you spent 4 days in solitary and 3 other days with the same three people?

How often, if ever, were you in an area with 10+ inmates at a time?

Yes on the days.

Never, about 10+ inmates. We had 8 total in the dorm.

?????????

Do I understand that one right: You got a jail sentence because you fell asleep in your car on the side of the road?

How is this something jailworthy? I would say to continue to drive in this state would be jailworthy.

The car was still running when the police arrived.

Lapka, DWI = driving while intoxicated

It sounds like you were pretty lucky that you didn't hurt yourself or anyone else on the drive from the casino.

OK, some googling reveals that it is apparently different from state to state, but you can really be arrested for sleeping drunk in your car.

"To prosecute for DUI, California Law requires movement of the vehicle. It requires that the car actually move while the person is impaired, and that did not happen in this case."

Shocker for me: apparently it is in Germany the same way. You can get problems for sleeping drunk in your car with engine running.

Where did you pull over? On the side of the highway?

Did you just plead guilty? Did you submit to roadside sobriety tests? My lawyer friend told me never to do that, even if you're stone cold sober. Always insist on a blood test.

Not even with car running. Some stated prosecute with key in ignition, even in a parking lot. Even if you are just listening to radio. Theory being that you are in control of car and can operate it. Which sucks. You want people to not drive and sleep.

I heard this too. But it depends. If you are close to limit go this route because it takes more time. They are not allowed to extrapolate backwards.

Guess that is another way to go off the grid

Assuming you still have your cat, who looked out for him/her?

Yeah, my brother looked after Gonzo while I was away. They've got a bunch of animals and Gonzo throws off their peace somehow, but it was tough to say no in this spot

So the one toilet in the "dorm" type cell is just right there out in the open like just another chair or something? I'm trying to think if two weeks would be long enough for me to get used to pooping right there in front of people like you're just hanging out on a recliner or something, maybe chatting it up or even playing cards from the throne.

It's probably 10 feet from the community table. It is slightly recessed, but you're basically just sitting a little farther back from the table as everyone else. There is a wooden gate but it only goes up about 2 1/2 feet so you know, you're sitting there taking a dump and everyone can see you from the waist up.

You never get used to that. I'm pee-shy to begin with.

At first you try and wait until people are asleep. Or at least nobody at the table. They don't want to see that either. But this guy Manuel, Manny, he said eventually you just don't give a ****. He's doing a 15-month sentence, and I think he's been there about a year.

Not using real names, btw.

Guys in jail crack A LOT of fart jokes. It's like the humor of middle school.

When LBJ was a U.S. Senator, he'd make people come into his private bathroom to talk when he was taking a crap.

Could you have done solitary the entire time? Might be a little maddening but you are safe.

I imagine if you say you are suicidal they have to keep you isolated.

I could do it easily with some books.

How much could have paid to have avoided jail?

What was the food like? Do people discuss what they're in for? Why did it cost a lot?

I guess the 4 days in solitary were no big deal for you.

Glad you got it over with.

I've spent a total of about a month working in prisons in western New York recently.

You do not want to do time in New York.

Attica isn't a nice facility but it seems pretty low key actually.

Wyoming, right next to Attica, is a ****ing zoo. If I knew I was bound for that place, I'd run.

Sapo,

Did you find out what the other 3 guys were in for?

I bring AA meetings into LA County Jails. Any AA, NA, or other 12-step meetings come into your jail?

Did your jail change into anything interesting for Christmas day? How was the general mood of the population?

You get zero choice in pretty much anything in jail. But as to "safe," you're not really in any danger in jail. Everyone just wants out, most people aren't looking for any trouble.

I think I read several books in jail, including two-thirds of the Satanic Verses. Also, Slaughterhouse 5, Flush, Factotum, Little Alters Everywhere, one of the Maze Runner series. More I think, but I can't recall offhand.

It's not exactly that.

I was charged with a misdemeanor DWI, which comes with a maximum year in jail. Which of course is pretty uncommon (to do jail time) for a first-time offender.

The DA's first offer to me was for 2 years probation. That's actually the moment where I realized we weren't ****ing around.

Ultimately, I pled guilty to a DWAI, which is a violation-level offense, like a traffic ticket. No criminal record. But to get that "deal" I had to take the max penalty (15 days in jail). It did come with lesser fines.

I could have taken the misdemeanor with what's called a conditional discharge. They set aside sentencing and you go w no probation or time, assuming you do certain things. But if you don't do those things, there's a year you can be sentenced to.