Quote:
Originally Posted by El Diablo
BA,
You should start a blog in the house of blogs forum here. Or have this thread moved over there.
I should, thanks. Sorry I went off the rails so hard. This thread kinda ****ed me up. I've been on a four month bender where all I am doing is boozing and gambling all of my money. I was going so hard that I started having hallucinations. I took the last three days to detox and try to sober up.
I started this thread to get an outlet other than gambling. When I got a positive response from my stories I started digging more up. I got into this weird feedback loop where: the stories are good, I'm occasionally writing a good line, and I'm realizing how ****ed up I am.
I just started spilling out the results of my substance abuse.
It felt good though.
I took a huge karma dump of just about everything that makes me feel like a bad person. It sucks that I did it here. I hope readers got some entertainment value.
I'm going to spend the next two months getting clean. It's late in the game and if I'm going to do something with my life I better get started.
It's 4:42 AM on a Friday morning in Las Vegas. There's a guy, couple of years my senior, walking around my apartment complex pool deck with no shirt on. He's checking all of the ash trays. He's pulling butts and lighting them up. Standing there to smoke them.
I've got two packs of Camels sitting next to me. There's a woman in my bed asleep. I've got a six pack of beer in the fridge. I just got a little score. I'm going to start my work week tonight. I'll make some more money that I don't really need.
I'm going to finish writing this, light up a smoke, and listen to the blues. I'm going to watch this guy walk around digging smokes out of the ashtrays. I want to be grateful. All I will think is, "How the **** do I keep from becoming you?"
I think it's all luck.