how much are you able to function on the drug? can you do "normal" tasks or w/e?

edit: i mean on the amount you would normally take

still curious about dmt, you must've missed it the first time through...did you get to interact with the elves?

I just wondered how the whole relapse episode normally plays out. Do you somehow rationalise that just once will be fine, and then it's a slippery slope? Or does something just snap and you think "**** it" and you kinda know you're going to go off the rails? Or is it something else?

It's easy to see how somebody who has become dependant, or someone who is naive, uses and continues to use. A relapse is much more puzzling to me, because you know you're opening yourself up to a world of pain.

(My tone isn't meant to be incredulous here, though I'm aware it may come accross that way, I just really don't get it.)

did you develop a slur in your speech from doing opiates/ methadone? i see a lot of people that do or did heroin and a lot of them have this drug affected slur. just askin

Well, definitely not right then.. I was pretty bad at the time I got arrested.

I live in Virginia Beach in an apartment with my younger brother. Having a hobby is definitely a must because boredom is like the worst enemy of recovery. You definitely won't get anywhere until you're fully committed to it.

That pic is from the summer.

No, as far as drugs, i'd say the best high I ever felt was ketamine/ecstacy/NO2 combined. Heroin is a great feeling at first then just becomes relief, so you don't even appreciate the high as much.

No, what is the book?

Here's an example: I'm just simply jealous of people that get up in the morning, drink a nice cup of coffee and read the newspaper. I love doing that, but I just wish I could look forward to that instead of how i'm going to get well in the morning. I'm sorry it's just really hard to explain what I mean.

As far as injection, again I just wanted to say in VA Beach I can walk into Walgreens and buy 10 needles for 2.99$ (no tax either). I've never shared a needle and have rarely used the same one more than once. For this reason my veins are in good shape and I still shoot in my arm, in basically the same spot i've been using forever. It's not as nasty as you'd think...i'll upload a camera pic of my arm if you guys are really interested in something like that.

1. At first, yes.
2. It's been terrible, I haven't fully gotten through it yet.
3. Easier by a mile
4. Yes
5. No never heard of it.
6 No, I don't consider myself a loser. I've made mistakes, but I've also owned up to them and am doing whatever I can to redeem myself. I'm sure people will say i'm a loser by default, though.
7. Probably not, it's a lifelong struggle. That's just the reality of it.

upload pic

Sorry about the format of the responses, i've been kinda blowing through them really quickly. If anyone wants further elaboration on something let me know, i'm not trying to hide anything intentionally.

1. My thought process was that since I was clean for so long, i'd be ok just doing it every now and then.

2. A shot of demerol from the hospital and a shot of heroin on the streets are not comparable, IMO.

3. It can be, but it depends way more on the individual.

Layzie, you seem like a really intelligent guy.

Did you ever read bluelight or any of that online stuff?

Parole Officer: How or what did you do to get off the withdrawls on your own? I mean, what worked or didn't work for you, excluding going to treament and prescribed drugs?

I basically smoked alot of weed, took muscle relaxers, and anti nauseau medicine, which didn't work very well.

vixticator: I could function like a normal human being on my normal dosage.


wiper: about DMT...picture your eyes rolling in the sockets, while hypervenilating and seeing colors. It's basically not even enjoyable to me unless i'm already on x or acid or something. You start tripping basically when you blow the smoke out. There are alot of OOTers who have tried it, i'm sure someone else has more experience on that than me.

sickofants: I completely understand what you're saying. It doesn't make any sense unless you've experience hardcore addiction firsthand. But basically for me it went from thinking casual use would be ok, to finding more and more reasons to use it more often until it became a habit again.

chester cheetah: No I don't have a slur, and I've never heard that before.

Yeah I definitely have a lot of knowledge about drugs and I know you'd probably think that would steer me away from using heroin, but it doesn't always work that way. I have some books i've read and also have read the net alot. Sometimes it helps reading other people's withdrawl experiences and realizing there are people in alot worse situations than me.

Again, sorry if my responses are too quick, i'm just trying not to miss anyone. Thanks for everyone remaining mature in the discussion.

Legendary first thread, interesting new thread

given that a ton of stuff was answered in that thread, can you shed a little more light on the whole relapse thing? you seemed to be going strong when that thread was made, you just slipped up and made one mistake and it led to relapse?

How much do different things cost in prison (in cigs of course)?

e.g. heroin, BJ, protection, rock hammer, anything else you know

Wow, multi-quote is cool, didn't even know it existed, lol. I'm gonna type up a trip report of sorts with all the circumstances that led to my relapse. It seems like that's what alot of people are really interested in, and I know I haven't done a good job of explaining it. Give me some time, and i'll write it up.

A joint costs 3 packs of cigarettes. Don't have experience with anything else.

layzie,

just read your first thread and wanted to say amazing thread. Stay off herion though. Seriously. I heard on the internet that stuff is bad news for real.


jk its not

It's crazy, I said almost the exact same thing as you did here just yesterday.
I was just explaining this to a fellow junkie friend of mine and we came to the conclusion that no one can really understand this without going through years of heroin use. Sounds really ridiculous but only hardcore users can understand.

I was thinking of doing an ask me thread just like this, but i'm glad you did cause i would suck and getting back to peoples questions

. i've been on and off Heroin for 7 years. unfortunately, I'm still struggling.

couple questions to OP:

ever use suboxone to curb withdrawal? I've always done a crash coarse of about a week of suboxone use tapering less and less each day. it makes it way more bearable. I was able to keep a job for the most part. right now i'm either on dope or a piece of suboxone.

do you associate with other junkies? I find most of them to be kinda "holier than thou" in regards to their heroin addictions. not when associating with other users but with people who don't use. It's like a "i'm going through this horrible problem that none of you will ever come close to understanding" kinda attitude a "I'm cooler than you because of it" kinda thing. does that make sense? i'm kind of sick right now.

You ever do a speedball? that in my opinion is the best thing i've ever experienced. a couple weeks ago i shot a huge speed ball and snorted a pill of exstacy. think that was the best actually.

benny

I've only had negative experiences with suboxone. It tends to make me feel worse, and yes I did take it correctly. I understand it can make you worse when not taken properly.

A couple of my friends also have a heroin problem. In a way it's helpful because we can help each other out when we're having money problems, but it also makes it harder to quit. I know what you mean about the holier than thou attitude, but me and my friends I don't believe have that outlook at all. We all realize our problems are our own fault.

Yes i've speedballed plenty of times, but i'm not a huge fan of cocaine, i'm pretty much exclusively a heroin/pot user.

this might seem like kind of a dumb question...

if you are going to a new city you have never been before and you want to score what would you do? are there code words for h/opiates you would use?

^Layne Staley--R.I.P.

Good luck Layzie.

You don't randomly ask anyone you don't know for drugs. Ever

You said that you relapsed because you thought you could handle casual usage. You seem far too intelligent and self aware to actually have thought you could start using heroin again casually or recreationally. And the day you relapsed you must have at least thought of the possibility you would start using heavily again. What I'm wondering is exactly what you were thinking the day you relapsed. If you can, please be very detailed. Were you thinking about using again for several days before you relapsed? Did some event in your life spark a relapse? Didn't you at least consider the very real possibility you would end up at the level of addiction you were at before going to prison? Did you think about what effect the relapse would have on your girlfriend, mother, brother, etc?

A member of my immediate family is a Heroin addict who has gotten clean and relapsed several times and as a family member who has supported an addict's recovery dealing with relapses is so baffling and difficult. So answering some of these questions would really help me try to wrap my mind around it.

Thanks