LOL

it didn't use to be.

someone who isn't me used to make regular trips back from pittsburgh (60 miles or so) with similar amounts.

still would be bad to get caught with it back then, especially that much, but the laws have gotten much, much harsher over the last couple years.

If you get a chance, I would appreciate a thorough answer Layzie. Thank you.

I strongly recommend going to an impatient facility out of state. I know for me, it was the only way I could get clean and stay clean.

Parents both smoked. I smoked for a few years. I would hesitate to compare the two though. Smokers aren't associated with societal decay or high crime rates. Hard drug abusers are.

The US government's watchful eye would rather see terminal patients in pain than allow them to become addicted to opiate-based pain meds. That's a bull**** position imo and could become another thread on its own.

Your thread gives in interesting perspective, one I wouldn't normally get and one of the valuable aspects of 2p2 and OOT.

My apologies for the original comment. It was a ****ty thing to post.

I'm not pounding on you so much as wondering about the outpouring of love and affection from OOT, which normally has such a refined eye for bull**** and a sharp way of pointing it out.

The situation you are in is a result of appallingly stupid decisions on your part. You know it, you are trying to deal with it, I wish you luck.

But I don't think you deserve a pat on the head for it. Maybe a few well-placed kicks in the ass somewhere in your past might have helped deter your course from the one you ended up taking.

Layzie,

Go to an inpatient facility ASAP. The fact that you admit you are having trouble with sober thoughts and temptation means there's an actual 0% chance you will stay clean. Get out of your current surroundings and in to inpatient ASAP.

The self-control you expect him to use with drugs, you should use with posting.

Just don't hit submit

I made a mistake when I kicked my meth habit, truth be told.

I went from 120 mg to 30 mg in about six months, so I was doing everything right. Then I just got impatient or something and decided I didn't want to struggle with it for another 6-9 months or whatever, so I decided to kick cold from 30 mg.

I should have and could have just kept coming down so by the time I had to just kick, my withdrawal wouldn't have been bad at all.

Start dropping your dose, and for God's sake get away from that doctor.

Seriously, there was a time when it seemed IMPOSSIBLE that I would be free of my opiate addiction(s). Now, I can't imagine it, honestly. It's OVER.

Do it. If you don't, it will go on forever.

After dating a drug addict I come to the conclusion i want them all to over dose. They ruin some many lives. They should not be allowed to breed

You came to that conclusion after dating one addict. Wow, that's pretty profound. I wish everyone could live in your world.

Sorry buddy, I'm not ignoring you, it's really hard to put my thought process, and the relapse phenomenon into words. I completely understand your question and want to give you a good answer, i'm just having trouble putting it down. Just give me some more time to better think about it.

seems like everyone except you can relate to him on some form but i obviously cant speak for anyone but myself

Details on this?

Does dope sickness get so bad that it makes you suicidal? How much over a regular dose is a hot shot?

Here's an idea: why don't you get on your high horse and ride the **** out of this thread because you clearly have no idea what you are talking about, Captain Tough Love, and with every post you make this becomes more glaringly obvious. It's like if I posted strat.

Layzie & Benny, thanks for sharing and best of luck. I hope it works out for you and your respective families. Can't personally relate to your situations but have some idea of the self-delusion that goes into thoughts like "I'm going to kick after this". The smartest person in the world can easily be undone by his own weaknesses. Intelligence has nothing to do with it.

What possesses someone to even consider trying a highly addictive drug? I mean you know going in that the stuff totally ****s peoples lives up, do you know before you try it that it is going to ruin your life and you don't care or what? I knew kids in high school that tried meth, heroin etc. and when I asked them why they were going to try it if they knew what it does to you they gave me half-assed answers and just kind of blew me off. I don't understand the thought process.

I guess I don't have it that bad. the most I was ever on was 80 mg but I didn't like it that much because if I timed the doses even slightly wrong I'd start throwing up and stuff. I've been on 40mg a day for about a year, I'm down to 10 mg every day/2 days just to stave off the gnarly withdrawal symptoms. my personal life is kind of a wreck right now, I can't lose any more work, etc. I really need to find an alternative way to treat my pain, but there just doesn't seem to be any healthy ones that work for my budget or job.

I know pain is an excuse for abusing painkillers, I think there's a pretty fine line that gets crossed but I'm almost sure I've crossed it once or twice. I have had addiction problems, I know that. But really, what do you suggest? I like to think my situation's different because it's not for weaning myself off heroin or coke or whatever, but still. it's a stupidly dangerous drug, both physically and emotionally.

meh. at this point, I'd rather live in addiction than pain. longest I've been off painkillers in 5 years was for 3 months and honestly it was affecting every aspect of my life in a really negative way. it's easy to tell yourself that you're functioning now, so why bother quitting? I guess that's what I'm dealing with mostly.

you only live once you ****ing pussy

edit: and i don't regret anything.

**** yeah!

on a serious, non-trolling note....you should really try some form of opiates before you die! if you are a life nit at least do it when your old and boring or w/e

i got some heroin tucked away in my night stand for my 73rd birthday. hope i make it

Couple of years ago i broke my elbow and spent 2 nights in the hospital on dilaudid. Despite the pain of the injury i distinctly remember the rush after each shot and unbelievable high. Now, i would never go out of my way looking for it and shooting up but if somehow it would appear in my room right now i don't think i'd have enough will power not to do it.

Well, it's a powerful movie, very tragic yet somehow entertaining and fun and it showed a "subculture" (if you can call it that) that's very exotic to most people - at least to me it is.

But from what you've said in the two threads it sounds like you functioned somewhat better in real life than the characters in the movie.

Layzie,

best of luck to you, first of all.

the fact that you haven't thrown your phone away makes me wonder if your desire to quit is as high as you say it is. i'm not calling you a liar, it just makes me wonder.

i do think that some people could quit while still having ready access to their drug of choice and hanging out with those that use, but it's got to be a very small percentage of what is already a very small percentage. (those that successfully quit compared to those that don't)

I was given Demerol after surgery and have smoked opium.

I guess I just wasn't born with an overwhelming need to **** the life bed. I should be more compassionate toward those who were and can't help it.



"You better quit shootin' that dope!"

That or stfu-ing should do fine