I think my favorite part is
Quote:
I actually used a one-shotter of mace from my keychain (ordered it online)
Ordered it online eh? Jesus Christ! We don't care *where* you go the mace. That little parenthetical aside made me bust a gut.
Thanks so much for this post. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. You may have a promising future as a humorist.
natedogg