2 out of 3 goals accomplished at college - Page 4 - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

So not more than an hour ago I completed goal #2 that I set out to do in my freshman year here at college: I gave a girl the money shot. None of this all over her chin [censored] either, it was all over her. She almost didn't go down on me (I had some raunch cock stench from not showering since Sunday night). In all honesty I'd say this will become a been there done that type of thing. Its essentially the same as jacking off, which I'm by no means above, but hey, BJ's are like a once a month thing for me so its a big deal that one was actually finished off the right way for a change.

Oh, FYI my first goal was to win a fight - did that the cheap way. I actually used a one-shotter of mace from my keychain (ordered it online), so Im not too proud of it but it did the job. I sort of instigated it with this small-but-tough-looking kid in his dorm while he was by himself (I was just roaming dorm floors on a friday night back in sept) and he finally told me off and starting to come at me and I just put him in a headlock before he could run his mouth anymore, then came the mace and then I just pummeled on his sides for 2 minutes and booked it out of there. It was great because after like 30 seconds he just had this muffled crying going on. I almost got in some serious legal trouble since I was caught immediately, but fortunately I got an assault misdemeanor and a disc. from the university (my family employs an amazing lawyer, boo-yah)

Goal #3 might seem [censored] up to you, but basically I want a girl to piss on me in the shower. Again, just a one time thing and since its in the shower it will be clean and all. My friend said he did this in high school and afterwards the girl let him do anything to her (he stuck a poolstick up her ass, plus he came on her after sex like every single time). Anyways I want to try and lock in on a girlfriend for this one, since obviously I wouldnt let just any girl do this. I probably wont tell anyone that I know in real life about this either since its one of those things Ill get ragged on til Im 30 for, so itll be nice to have this outlet!

Anyone else have any goals they set heading into college this fall?

1. U P*ssy.......Using mace is beyond all comprehension of a fight....and picking on someone means u are scum...

2. A stinky penis - WTF....bad personal hygiene and u still wanted her to give you a BJ...

3. As for wanting to be pissed on....I think thats funny as !!

OOT has constantly given one legendary thread a month....This one has just been added to that for the downright hilarity within it !!

The more I read your post, the more I picture you.....However, this thread needs a pic of you or the girl in question or both......

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10-26-2005 , 05:16 AM

#78

Exitonly

Ray of Hope

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 17,723

i dont see anything wrong with mace.. except for how he used it... he got the kid in submission and then he used it..

if he was on the losing end, i see no reason not to turn that around w/ some mace-age.

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10-26-2005 , 05:40 AM

#79

Vavavoom

Photobucket Voyeur Extraordinaire

Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 5,044

Quote:

But he went around looking for a fight....

I have no problem with it being used when attacked...but you causing it to be used is a different matter...

He was winning the fight but still felt the need to use mace......That to me as a complete a*shole move to make !

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10-26-2005 , 06:07 AM

#80

SammyKid11

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 2,396

Personally, I don't give a damn if you want some girl to piss on you. And hey, if you can convince a girl to schlob your knob after you've not showered in a couple days, I guess- uh, great? Neither of these would be my thing, but whatever.

But if you actually went looking for a smaller kid, baited him into a fight for no reason other than your sophomoric "goals," maced him, beat on him for 2 minutes after he was down and defenseless, ran away, and had Daddy get you out of trouble with his lawyer...then I only have one thing to say...

I hope you get raped to death while getting punched in the junk repeatedly.

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10-26-2005 , 06:17 AM

#81

mackthefork

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 3,763

Goals 2 and 3 are good for the soul.
Goal 1 is gay.

Mack

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10-26-2005 , 06:42 AM

#82

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 45,323

You sir are my hero.

Cody

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10-26-2005 , 06:51 AM

#83

can_dollars

centurion

Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 164

Redlightcruiser takes girl in shower.

redlightcruiser: "piss on me"
girl: "no"
redlightcruiser: "come on, please?"
girl: "NO"

*redlight pulls out mace keychain and sprays her*
*girl starts crying and pisses all over him*

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10-26-2005 , 07:49 AM

#84

Vavavoom

Photobucket Voyeur Extraordinaire

Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 5,044

Quote:

Hahahahahahaha

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10-26-2005 , 07:50 AM

#85

Kanchi

enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 69

What are the other funny [censored] up threads like this? Can someone provide links? I need stuff to read when I'm on a downswing.

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10-26-2005 , 08:29 AM

#86

Bosten_GeorgeP

stranger

Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 2

Quote:

This might be the greatest post ever. I predict it won't make it until midnight.

'

this post rules

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10-26-2005 , 08:46 AM

#87

Mike Peters

enthusiast

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 82

I can't stop thinking about the Chappelle's Show R. Kelly skit for some reason...

Said rollin' around, sittin' on dubs
Countin' the hours, high on shrubs
Coolin' in my escalade
Man I'm paid, I got it made
Take me to your special place
Close your eyes, show me your face...
I'm gonna piss on it
Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love
I don't even want none of the above
I want to piss on you, yes I do
I'll piss on you, I'll piss on you
Said your body, your body
Is a porta-potty
I'ma pee on cue
I can use karate (use karate)
Ima pee on you--drip drip drip--pee on you
pour it on you, piss on you, piss on you
You'll never feel quite the same
When you get a whiff of my Hershey stains
I wanna poop on you too
I want to pee in your food
Only thing will make my life complete
Is when I turn your face into a toilet seat
I want to pee on you, yes I do, yes I do
I'll pee on you, I'll piss on you
Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love
I don't even want none of the above
I wanna piss on you, yes I do
I'll piss on you, I'll pee on you
Won't you braid my hair
Said won't you braid my hair
Before you start, I'm gonna fart
I'm gonna fart on you

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10-26-2005 , 08:52 AM

#88

ChipWrecked

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 13,006

Quote:

Goal #3 might seem [censored] up to you,

Not at all. Goals 1 and 2 prove you are a twisted [censored].

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10-26-2005 , 09:02 AM

#89

RunDownHouse

Allez Biere!

Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 12,817

Quote:

But if you actually went looking for a smaller kid, baited him into a fight for no reason other than your sophomoric "goals," maced him, beat on him for 2 minutes after he was down and defenseless, ran away, and had Daddy get you out of trouble with his lawyer...then I only have one thing to say...

Seriously hilarious.

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10-26-2005 , 09:05 AM

#90

diebitter

Grotesquely Handsome

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 65,507

The OP needs macing.

That big one that the king of the ringwraiths swung about in 'return of the king', right in his face, I'd say...

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10-26-2005 , 09:32 AM

#91

JBB

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 8,856

Awesome.

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10-26-2005 , 09:34 AM

#92

Aces McGee

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 5,671

Quote:

I believe there are many girls with low self-esteem at your typical college who will help you reach goal #3

Is pissing on someone really a low self-esteem activity?

-McGee

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10-26-2005 , 09:41 AM

#93

The DaveR

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 19,161

Quote:

This might be the greatest post ever.

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10-26-2005 , 09:46 AM

#94

BeerMoney

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 6,143

Quote:

So, you came on her face, right? I'm just a little confused if you finished there, or in her mouth. Please clarify for me.

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10-26-2005 , 09:57 AM

#95

The DaveR

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 19,161

Quote:

So, you came on her face, right? I'm just a little confused if you finished there, or in her mouth. Please clarify for me. Quickly, HURRY! Unnh, UNNNNNHHHHH! Never mind.

FYP.

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10-26-2005 , 09:59 AM

#96

Hopey

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 11,996

Quote:

I believe there are many girls with low self-esteem at your typical college who will help you reach goal #3

Is pissing on someone really a low self-esteem activity?

-McGee

Personally I think it would be quite empowering to piss on someone.

I'll run it by the wife tonight...

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10-26-2005 , 10:06 AM

#97

BeerMoney

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 6,143

Blow me.

Also, Is the answer obvious?

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10-26-2005 , 10:10 AM

#98

diebitter

Grotesquely Handsome

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 65,507

Don't be surprised when it hits. Piss can be quite hot when it's fresh.

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10-26-2005 , 10:11 AM

#99

mslif

banned

Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,891

Quote:

I'd let a chick piss on me if could do the same to her. That would be so cool.

, I will take this comment as a joke.

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10-26-2005 , 10:11 AM

#100

jon_1van

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,070

Quote:

Blow me.

Also, Is the answer obvious?

I hear you know who to go to for that

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